Little Lover's So Polite
by pencildrawings
Summary: Bella gets the chance to meet her favorite band but the band's vocalist Edward is rude to her right off the bat-is everything what it seems or is there a reason for his attitude? Bella will be surprised...ExB AxJ EmxR AH!
1. Chapter 1

**ALL HUMAN- Alice, Jasper, and Bella are best friends. Alice and Jasper decide to do something special for Bella, they buy her concert tickets to an outdoor music festival where her favorite band has finally come to concert. Somehow, Bella gets a once in a lifetime chance to maybe meet a few of the band members from a mysterious tip off they get. But what happens when the lead singer, bronze haired Edward Cullen, isn't as gracious as he seems and is rude to Bella the second they meet? Bella is hurt and disappointed her musical crush isn't what he seemed to be, but we'll have to see about that… ExB and all other canon pairings. The band consists of Edward, Emmet and James- or does it? Surprises later.**

**The story gets a lot better after this first chapter, this chapter is the foundation for the rest of the story, basically.**

**Little Lover's So Polite**

**BPOV**

I sighed heavily as I sat down in the booth of the coffee shop, my feet were killing me. Luckily I had Jasper and Alice sipping mugs in the booth across from me. These days they seemed desensitized to how crappy I looked- completely tired and run into the ground. But of course next to Alice wouldn't anyone look that way? I couldn't help but think that. It was just fact that came along with being her best friend- inferior to her beauty, whether you were killing yourself working way too much overtime at a busy coffee shop or not.

"Bella I think you really need to-" Alice started, but I cut her off.

"I'm fine, Alice, really, just a couple more weeks of this and I'll have enough saved, I'll be able to move and start school, it'll all work out fine." I finished with a nod that sealed the deal, my own words were motivation for myself as well as a reassurance for my friends who worried I would work myself into the ground. But I was determined. I would get out of Forks one way or another and start college, I'd get a new car- which begrudgingly, I allowed Charlie to help me pay for since my own truck passed away this spring. It's been a difficult time for the family.

"But until then? You know you can't live like this. You work here so much you can't even drink coffee anymore without forcing it down- the smell of coffee beans is engraved in your nostrils- give it a break already, won't you?" Alice insisted, sitting up with her elbows leaned on the table, her jet black hair shining under the lights of the shop. I swear she'd cause traffic during the morning commute, either that or Jasper was going to- or maybe it was the two of them together? Such a handsome couple.

I only looked out the window, seeing the bus roll by, leaving grungy exhaust behind it. Sometimes I felt I could take that very same bus out of here, just leave…

But I couldn't and wouldn't do that to Charlie, Alice and Jasper. They were the only ones here keeping me tied to Forks.

My whole existence in this rainy city hasn't been bad, just not good.

I felt like there was something more out there, something exciting hiding in all this dreariness and rain.

My high school days hadn't been bad, but just uneventful enough and boring enough to leave me with a bad taste of it.

It's not that people here weren't nice, they just weren't…

How to put it?…

Interesting. Intriguing. Dazzling. No one here like that of the sorts.

Why settle for just plain and ordinary when you could search for that something more?

The problem however, were my best friends thinking I was going to collapse before I actually got to start on that search…

"Bella…" Jasper's voice was low, almost in a warning like tone. I didn't turn my head, but I was all ears.

"Bella.." he started again, I barely tilted my head to the side to let him know he had my undivided attention, "Do you think you can get this Wednesday off?" he asked.

"Oh I don't know, Jasper… my manager is on vacation this week. He's supposed to call with the schedule and I was just gonna take it as is and not trouble him with whatever he wrote me up for." I could tell my words had disappointed him, they were used to my tone of voice when I talked about work- so depressing and dreary… matching the weather.

"Bella, don't go to work that day." Alice chimed in.

"Why??" I asked, skeptical.

"Well, because… honestly you hate for us to buy you anything, but you'd feel even worse if what we bought you had to go to waste…"

"What?! Oh no… please don't tell me- ugh…" I heaved, defeated, "guys how many times do I have to tell you? If there's something I need, really need, I can get it myself-"

"oh this is something you definitely need, but you'd never think to get it for yourself. 'Too expensive' or 'unnecessary' is what you'd call it, even though it's not. However, it's more likely to be your reason for getting up everyday until Wednesday once you find out what it is." said Alice, with the smallest hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth. Jasper watched her as she spoke and a small, ever admiring smirk playing at the corner of his lips as he eyed her.

This got me curious.

"What do you mean…?" I found myself leaning into the table. Alice did the same, her dainty hands folded in front of her like she had a plan of action stirring in her head.

"You know the outdoor music festival that comes around every summer? But never anywhere near Forks?" she asked, I could only follow whatever she was going to say. I nodded, sure, but what was it to me?

"Well this year, they're adding some more dates and trying some alternate stops on tour! They'll be at the Port Angeles outdoor arena! Jasper and I got us all tickets and we're _going!!" _her voice turned harsh at the end, as if commanding, "You're going _Bella_!" she was already telling me before I had even objected that I couldn't go.

I had to smile at her, her pretty little pixie like features.

"Alice, Jasper… thank you, really, out of every unnecessary purchase you've ever gotten me, this is by far my favorite and most appreciated, especially now since it seems like all I know is work-"

"That's because all you DO know is work!" Jasper shouted. I laughed.

"I know, I know, and truly I'm sorry about that guys. I know we hardly see each other anymore and when we do it's always at this crappy coffee shop- but I can see why you're really doing this. You're worried about me, that I'm always stressed or overworked. Your intentions were good. You mean well and I can tell by this purchase that you were only trying to help me- unlike all the times your purchases have done anything but…" I tried to lighten the mood a little bit with a smile.

Alice snorted, "who said that Victoria Secret underwear I bought you wouldn't help you?"

Jasper cleared his throat but couldn't hide his amusement about Alice, me, and my wardrobe. I merely rolled my eyes.

"Seriously I mean it though- which is why… I'm so sorry that I have to decline…" I cringed, my shoulders tensing and waiting for the outbursts to come…

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, NO!"

"Come on!"

"Are you kidding?!"

And there were the shower of objections…

"I'm SORRY!" it seemed like I was always apologizing these days. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but it always felt like I was. For some reason I couldn't deny the feeling of guilt and depression every time they had to go without me, or I revealed last minute I had to bail because work called.

"Bella- trust me, please don't miss this! Don't make US miss this!" Alice insisted.

"You guys can still go without me!"

Alice leaned back, a look of shock on her face that showed she was either appalled or offended, "We're not going without you! The only reason we bought these tickets were because of you! Honestly? Me at an outside music festival?? In the rain and like… mud and stuff??" Alice made a face and I got what she meant. I had to laugh a little. I knew now how completely and totally they were just doing this for me. The outdoor concert was something I would surely be interested in. I can't remember the last one to even hit a city anywhere kind of even close to Forks. This was definitely a great opportunity.

Alice heaved a sigh, "We didn't want to have to do this, Bella…" she shook her head, arms folded.

"What now?" I asked, with a nod towards her, almost challenging what she was going to say next.

"It was going to be a surprise but… Little Miss Difficult has to ruin everything now, doesn't she??" Alice replied.

"Uh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me?"

"Who else??" Jasper's deep voice cut in.

I glared at him, but otherwise waited for Alice to make her point.

Just then Alice dug into her purse. It took a moment of silence hearing her dig through its contents as Jasper and I waited patiently.

At last, she pulled out her wallet and proceeded to pull out one ticket, sliding it across the table over to me.

At first I only eyed, as if touching it would burn me, but then reluctantly, I picked it up and brought it close to my face to read.

It was your standard ticket, with the event's date, time, and arena written on it, even a few major headliners of the tour, but nothing else.

"So?"

"Read who's going, of course!" Alice shrieked, I jumped.

I reread each little band name in bold, computerized print on the ticket. Some I had heard of but didn't necessarily really listen to- and then I saw _that _name…

"_Is this a joke?" _I glared at them both through slitted eyes.

"Are we laughing?" Jasper retorted. I scoffed.

Either way this couldn't be happening- my favorite, absolute _favorite_ band was coming to Port Angeles! A measly little drive away compared to where concerts were usually held around here… and I couldn't go because supposedly work was going to get in the way. I didn't need to college did I? I had enough saved, surely I could skip Wednesday.. And the day after that…

No- stay focused! As tempting as it was…

And then it was as if Alice and Jasper could read my facial expressions. They could see me deliberating with myself in my head.

"We know that look…" Alice said softly, "it means you really want something, but you think you should decide against it. You don't think you have a right to.. But you're wrong, Bella! You do!" she pounded her little fists on the table top for emphasis.

I sighed, almost sadly. How could I?… I wouldn't. I had to stop somewhere, work and the mundane would kill me before the weather ever had its chance with getting me sick and finishing me off…

I tapped my fingers nervously on the tabletop, thinking about what she had just said.

Maybe this could be my one last big experience before I officially said goodbye to Washington when I did leave? Maybe this was the state's way of making up to me all those boring and wasteful years. See it as a going away present. It wouldn't let you leave without the proper goodbye. It wanted you to have one good- no, great experience here.

Aw, and it was my favorite band! It really was. They had been for a while since I had walked into this one bookstore, only to pick up something when I overheard them on the guy who was stocking shelves mp3 player, he had his earphones blasting and whatever it was, I decided I liked it- almost immediately. I was pretty good that way though, I never needed to listen to much of a song to know if it was good or not. I only had to sample seconds of it to know if I'd like the entire album.

The band wasn't really mainstream, but had enough of a fan base to tour and book small venues- ones with more intimate and close settings, putting you basically in front of the stage. Unfortunately, I had never got around to going, even though I absolutely adored their music. The band in itself, the entire package just drew me in. First there was their music- melodic and honest, lyrics and metaphors, clever figures of speech, and the vocals… not to mention the musicians themselves.

It was slightly embarrassing to admit, but I had a huge crush on the lead singer. Ugh. He was my favorite. I always felt like a stupid teenager, even though the band was far from 'screaming girls outside of TRL' status. I just looked more into them once I bought the CD and the band members just so happened to be beautiful. It was so strange to me. Here were these talented young men, so good looking and handsome and just flying under the radar. I felt like no one knew about them but me. I'd like to think in all of Forks that was possible, that their amazing music and extremely good looks went unnoticed by everyone else around me- and yet I was glad they could tour and perform because they deserved it. I remember one year Alice got me their band t-shirt they were selling on their website that was left over from the small tour they did with another band. I still had it today and sometimes even slept in it.

I looked back at the ticket held in my hand. To go, to even be remotely in the same area of them would be cool. Seeing them live, even if I had to stand in the back of the crowd would be enough. How could I say no? I felt ashamed and so selfish that I would even consider it. I couldn't do that to Alice and Jasper.

Finally, I looked up at them and smiled the warmest, most gratitude filled smile I could muster. They both smiled back, containing their obvious enthusiasm.

"I'm gonna call my manager- better let him know I'll be needing Wednesday off next week." I grinned.

"Make it Thursday, and Friday, and Saturday…" Jasper smiled.

"Will do."

And with that I got up, left my boss a message on his answering machine and flat out told him I could not work the second half of next week. I made up some excuse, some fake reason that assured him it was something I definitely couldn't help nor get out of.

I hung up and went back to Alice and Jasper at the table, still standing, I told them thank you. They seemed to know what I meant, even though I could only say it right now in so little words. They understood and knew what they meant to me. And I knew exactly how they felt likewise.

I excused myself and had to actually work now, the morning rush starting to come in at full force. I let the other employees handle it and I went to pick up coffee mugs and dishes off of tables and clean, I was glad because that left me with opportunity to day dream.

I couldn't imagine the band here, in rainy, unimpressive Washington- _green_, wet Washington. Too green almost.

What would the singer, Edward Cullen look like in person? Even if it was from far away, I could picture now his bronze haired head so bright in contrast against the grey, overcast sky here. Would the lack of sunlight wash out his pale skin? Regardless, his piercing green eyes would stand out, even if I was standing at the way back of the crowd. He was the most handsome one, and of what? 23 years of age? I was 22, I thought, then I scoffed to myself. How ridiculous to think our ages matched up- so what? It's not like you're meeting him. It's just a concert. You'll get to see him play live: guitar and sometimes they had a piano onstage.

Then there was James, the band's bass player. I remember Alice was going through the junk in my car and came across their album booklet, and pointed out something along the lines of him being a 'sexy devil.' (he did look rather devious, sinister, but I imagined it was all intentional) She didn't listen to their music unless it was playing in my room when she came over, but didn't mind it in the least.

And then they had their drummer, Emmet, who seemed like the black sheep of the group- loud and so much more care free and outgoing than the more serious types of Edward and James. But I thought it was probably safe to guess that he brought out those qualities in them. I mean, you'd probably have to. I bet his big, muscular build and boisterous attitude could be persuasive and maybe even rub off on you, like it was hard to care or be serious around him.

I finished up the last of the tables and let a business couple sit down at it and walked away with an excited spring in my step… only a few days and I'd gladly be standing outside (most likely in rain), with probably a thousand or so others all across the outdoor festival to see the one band I actually cared about with my two best friends who couldn't be more considerate- and pushy- with all the best intentions and I loved them for it. For once I wasn't worrying I'd just be the third wheel when we went out, even though time and time again Alice and Jasper told me I was always invited because I was wanted, not out of courtesy just because we had all started out as merely friends at one point. They emphasized just because their relationship grew to be more didn't mean I would end up always as an interruption. With this concert though, I knew it wouldn't be that way. I knew they were doing this for me- because they cared so much, because they were worried… it assured me that I wasn't forgotten, even though I couldn't blame them if I was. Our relationships had a distant feel to them now, only the memory of how close you were still lingered on the surface and how much time you used to spend together. This Wednesday would make it better. I knew everything would just be instantly better. They had shown me when I was trying to get ahead in life, I ended up neglecting it mostly. This Wednesday it would all change. Secretly I would use the day as a fresh new start. Even after the concert would come and go, my favorite band that always helped me when I needed it-for anything- would come and go amazingly, I would go _on with a better attitude and a better balance of matters around me. How could I deserve it all, and yet feel like it was too good? _


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

I laid back in the bunk of the tour bus, the little Apple laptop we shared on my lap, the glow from the screen the only thing illuminating my only personal space on this entire bus. I checked the band's Myspace- the one we've had since our earliest days as a band- back when James was still a member. Things were different now though. I'd say as a band we had a bigger following now, something James resented I'm sure, but we had to forget about him and leave him behind. He wasn't cutting it. He was never reliable and seemed to be in it for all the wrong reasons… not wanting to dwell on that part of our past right now, I tried shifting my thoughts elsewhere.

It was distracting however, with Emmet, my oversized best friend (which felt more like a favorite brother) and fellow band mate in his bunk above mine. I heard feminine giggles and masculine mumbling from above my head. I pounded on the bunk's roof above me.

"Knock it off." I warned, eyes still on the computer screen. I could hear Rosalie and Emmet laughing, trying desperately to be quiet, but honestly, the bunks only had curtains that shut for any kind of privacy. In this bus, everything was heard, especially in such close quarters….

To my annoyance, they didn't settle down. I pounded again, "Come on! We didn't hire her for this!"

"She's my GIRLFRIEND!" Emmet pounded on the floor of his bunk, the vibrations of his fist nearly rattled my head. I let out a loud, over exasperated and animated sigh, throwing my head back and shutting my eyes, trying to calm my nerves, but they were steadily burning away.

Granted we did allow Rosalie to take the place of James as our bass player, she was good enough for it, talented honestly, much more so than her predecessor- but if I would've known this is what they would've been up to- maybe I would've thought twice. Sometimes it was hard to get anything done with the two of them so head over heels for each other.

Of course I was always painted out to be the bad guy, the heartless, soulless, serious 'all about the music' pessimistic one who Emmet and now Rose was definitely sure I'd die a virgin.

"Just pick one!" Emmet would always say after we played a show and went to a bar for a couple drinks, always referring to the women gathered around the room or the ones who had somehow managed to follow us from the show. But honestly, it all just sort of repulsed me. To me, the word 'groupie' held no meaning, nor value along with terms such as 'one night stand' and 'hookup.' I definitely didn't want to be the stereotypical band guy- lead singer and guitarist for that matter- who lays girls and does drugs and basically gives everyone reason to believe he's a prick.

They all teased me, Emmet and Rose…

I was always the odd man out. The one who didn't have a fit or a niche other than the music and the band- but now with it's one and only female member, that was starting to sort of slip away too.

No it wasn't.

I forced myself to think.

I couldn't allow myself to feel… resentful towards them- the two most important people in my life right now. No. I could definitely be happy for them. I was. Don't get me wrong, I was. Rosalie couldn't be a better match for Emmet, and as his best friend I'd never seen him happier.

One day, I recalled Emmet being particularly smitten with Rosalie. It was just a few days after I had introduced them. Rose was this girl I knew at a record store that let me post flyers about our upcoming shows. We chatted and got to know each other a bit and bonded over the music. Even I had to admit, she surprised me. She seemed so vain and full of herself, almost with a superiority complex because of her beauty ( I found out later that also included talent- talent with the bass guitar) but music was something looks couldn't help her with. You either had the dedication and skill or you didn't. She seemed determined to rise above what her outward appearance conveyed and wanted to join the band once I told her James was out.

After talking it over and casually suggesting it to Emmet, he agreed we should look into it. And so our weekly meetings with Rosalie took up and we sort of tested the waters to see how this worked out. Luckily, she liked the sound we had and the material, it helped, even though we planned on writing something new with whoever the new member would be.

After she left one particular meeting, after helping Emmet with his part on the drums for the song we were working on (casually suggesting and giving input, she even sat between his legs on the drum stool and guided him to pound out a rhythm she'd thought work best with the song) Emmet was quiet the whole rest of the night as we packed up our stuff. I asked him about it, wondering if he was having doubts about letting her in, or if he didn't like the way she took over on his part- but instead he just ran a hand through his hair and had this sort of surrendered, admitting expression on his face. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head as if he didn't know what to do or was completely helpless in whatever matter was on his mind. He simply told me he was glad she was joining the band, she was everything he ever wanted. He didn't have to clarify that he meant that in the most personal way possible.

Such complexity coming from Emmet was astonishing. I knew then it was genuine- whatever it was it was real.

I shut down the laptop and put it away. I laid back and rested my arms above my head, staring up at the bunk ceiling that was way too close to my eyes.

If a girl who impacted me the way Rosalie effected Emmet ever came along- so be it.

Until then I wasn't about to rush it, I wasn't about to care. I wasn't going to go looking for it. I was content in myself. I was content in the music, in where we were going. I was satisfied with the band with my life right now and the people in it. I was complete in myself.

**BPOV**

Alice grabbed me by my wrist as we made our way down the line of shops in the Port Angeles mall. As soon as I had officially agreed to go to the concert and got the okay from my boss to miss work Wednesday, and a few days extra after the concert, she made me promise to let her take me shopping.

And for _once _in all the time I've known her, for once in my _life _when anyone wanted to take me shopping…

Miraculously, I didn't complain.

Shocker, I know.

She wanted to pick out an outfit for me to wear the day of this concert- saying it was trickier and more difficult and that I'd probably fail. Alice, lucky for me, had taken into account everything- the weather, the conditions, the occasion, anything outdoor related that could potentially happen, all the walking we may be doing, the crowds of people… she assured me such factors had to be taken into consideration when choosing an outfit for this all day concert.

She dragged me along to a casual store.

"Here, this place is just casual enough to wear to a concert, but nice enough to where you'll look cute- but not like you're trying to look cute… cause you know what really annoys me? Girls that dress up for an event like it's some sort of dating service- we don't want that there. It's an _all day_, _outdoor _event. Your makeup and hair will most likely wilt… it's so annoying" she rolled her eyes and I had to laugh, glad I had Alice on my side. She was feminine and fashion forward, without being obnoxiously so. Alice knew when to draw the line- when practical had to meet fashionable.

"MMhm, I completely agree," I hummed, nodding along and letting her drag me through aisles of clothing. We left Jasper back at the bookstore out by where we parked the car- he'd stay there reading until Alice's little fashion mission was completed.

"Aren't you excited?" she asked, her eyes glinting with excitement for me as she held up a black camisole that had metallic threading on a sheer black net material that outlined the small v-neck cut of the shirt. She didn't even wait for me to answer when she nodded her head in approval of the top and threw it over her arm to purchase later.

"Yeah I'm excited!" of course I was, not only because it was my favorite band and an exciting event alone in itself- but because my favorite people had thought to do such a thing. "Seriously, I can't thank you enou-"

"Bella, it's okay, really. We just saw you needed a little break- something fun. You're always stressing about money and college- or the lack thereof- trying to get money to _get _into college…" she sighed, and I knew she felt sorry for me. However, it wasn't condescending the way it would be if someone else felt that way- with Alice I knew it was only because she cared so much. She only wanted to see me happy and at ease as much as possible, despite how many shopping trips she tried to drag me on.

Eventually, she picked out a light, black knit sweater that had a single button beneath the bust line to button it up. It cinched in the middle at the button and left the top part of my chest open to expose the detail on the camisole Alice had just picked out, the rest of the sweater stayed open casually. It was light and thick enough to be of use if it rained or if it got windy or chilly, and yet cool enough that it wouldn't bother me if we were standing outside all day and the sun just so happened to decide it wanted to come out (not that any sun in Washington was that hot anyway- now, _Phoenix_…. That was hot, luckily we weren't going there).

I quickly tried the outfit on for her, pairing it with grayish black skinny jeans and flats.

Alice looked me over, her eyes traveling from my feet to the tip of my head, nodding all the way up in obvious approval.

"I did good." she said simply, I had to laugh at her own self praise. There was no denying it. The outfit was comfortable and practical enough I couldn't complain or find anything to gripe about- unlike the time she had gotten me expensive underwear and bras for my birthday- insisting the feel of sexiness and confidence all started with what you wore _under _your clothes.

We grabbed our purchases and rung them up at the counter.

I reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet.

Alice however had other ideas.

In a flash the saleswoman had Alice's credit card swiped through the machine.

"Alice! No! I can get it!"

"What??" she pretended to be innocent, "oh! Oops! Oh well, maybe next time. It's too late now" she simply shrugged and went on humming a tune to herself as she swiftly grabbed the bag from the store lady and turned on her heel out the door.

"No, Alice! Seriously! No more buying me stuff! I don't want to be this poor, charity case! You have no idea how that makes me feel… it's not just that, but I feel like I'm taking from you-"

"_Taking from me??" _she squinted, "Bella, why are you so _ridiculous??"_ she looked adequately perplexed. I sighed and used every nerve in my body not to roll my eyes. She sensed my serious troubling over it though, and her expression softened to something warmer.

"Look, just buy me a t-shirt at the concert or something. We'll call it even"

I didn't budge, I just looked ahead and kept walking, my arms folded stubbornly.

"Fine… if you think that doesn't cover the cost of what I've bought you in the last few days- why don't you have fun, enjoy yourself, CHILL OUT, stop worrying, flirt with guys, and be confident?? You can do that for me and we can really call it even. No more tricky purchases on my part either." she seemed sincere. I was honestly caught off guard.

I looked to her, a small apologetic smile on my face as well as hers.

I joined the gap between us and wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked back to the bookstore for Jasper.

"Alice, you're my best friend. It's moments like this I know it more than ever."

She didn't say anything. I only heard her sigh, happy we had solved everything, and leaned her head on my shoulder tiredly, all her shopping bags bundled into her two little hands.

Once we reached Jasper, he only stood and smiled. It was as if he could feel what was going on and he beamed, proud of both of us maybe for settling things on our own_._


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

Finally it was the day we were all waiting for.

I was at Jasper's apartment (which was slowly but surely becoming Alice's apartment as well) standing in front of the bathroom mirror nervously- the good kind of nervous though. I was excited and eager to go to the festival and no rain or sun was going to hold me back. I sighed as I tugged down on the camisole Alice had bought for the occasion that day. The look seemed more complete now though since the event it was bought for was finally here. I left my hair down and parted to the side with the natural waves it had. Alice stood next to me leaning into the mirror and adding one last coat of mascara to her eyes. When she stood up I envied how cute she looked, even though her look was entirely different. She wore a jean mini skirt with black leggings underneath and a grey top with ¾ sleeves with geometric cut outs along the neckline of the shirt, making it more interesting and decorative.

"Ready?" Jasper poked his head into the bathroom, addressing us both but only looking at Alice as she casually adjusted a few stray chunks of her black hair.

"Yep! Sure are!" she finally chimed, smiling enthusiastically at me and leading me out of the bathroom with her hands on my shoulders.

"Got the tickets?" she asked Jasper.

"Yes, ma'am" he nodded and held the front door open for us.

Once in the car, I put on my seat belt and turned to look out the window, exhaling happily, my nerves and excitement were apparent, and I think Jasper and Alice felt pleased with themselves- either that or mostly just happy for me. I was actually letting myself relax. I didn't think about work, what I might be missing, or the future. All that mattered was today, taking each moment by moment and making the most of what was directly in front of you.

I could definitely feel my positive attitude radiating and I didn't know if it was just me or my mind playing tricks or the fact that somewhere, my favorite band was within the same state as me this very second, but my out look seemed to effect everything around me.

We flew by on the freeway without any troubles at all. The traffic wasn't nearly as bad as Jasper had expected it to be for the day of the event. We had no trouble with directions.. Nothing. And even if something was less than perfect- like the fact that the top I had gotten suddenly felt a little too snug on my hips- it didn't seem to bother me as much as long as I was thinking positive.

My heart went into overdrive as Jasper pulled into the festival grounds parking lot. I scanned people walking by as we drove looking for a spot. They were mostly people our age, young, but some even a little younger- still in high school.

As I looked closer, I saw a guy wearing a shirt with the _band's_ name on it. That sight alone thrilled me. I felt my heart soar knowing all we had to do was check the event's schedule and I'd know exactly when I'd get my chance to see _them_.

Jasper found a spot and we headed out to the line to get in.

Once inside, I looked around and saw the booths of the many bands playing on the tour. They each had their own little merchandise vender, the band name splayed across the top of the vinyl canopy.

Jasper spotted a posting of the show schedules first and Alice took a picture of it with her phone so we'd be sure to see Edward, Emmet, and James play later.

I scanned the list of names and times and stages until I found the one most important to me.

They were going on at 4:30. We had some time to kill.

It didn't take long at all for us to get in the swing of things, making our way over to different stages and watching different bands play. The day seemed like it was whizzing by, and yet it felt like we had been there for hours already..

Jasper held Alice's hand as we all stood at the back of a crowd that was just starting to form around the front of a stage. People talked as we waited for a band to come on. We were all just sort of biding our time until the band we really came here to see performed, but nevertheless it was still cool to go around and hear the different styles of music and see all the different people who had come today.

The sky was a pale grey, like it wanted to rain but didn't exactly have enough in it. I looked down at my cell phone and checked the time. We had about an hour until our band came on- I wasn't about to miss it so I was constantly checking the time even though Jasper told me to chill out and assured me that he was keeping an eye on it. Today was about me relaxing, having fun. I still couldn't help but feel touched at the way they were sort of taking care of me today. They were so selfless sometimes. I'd like to think I was too, Alice and Jasper had reassured me time and time again all I knew was being selfless, and so for today I had every right to decide what we'd do next- which bands to see, when to stop and eat lunch, buy souvenirs, whatever. It all felt like so much, and yet just enough. All I would need was today. All the months I'd been working at my job and all the times my friends had to take a backseat to my responsibilities could be swept away just by the concert today. It was perfect and all that I needed. Who knew? I was elated to find that this was just up my alley and I did enjoy every minute of it. The whole atmosphere was just exciting to me. It was exciting and almost chilling to think that my favorite band members could be roaming the grounds right now checking out the other bands themselves. Every time I saw a built, muscular guy I couldn't help but wonder if it could be Emmet.

"So are you having a good time?" Jasper leaned in to ask.

"Are you kidding me?" I retorted with a smile. He grinned back and Alice smiled at the two of us, holding on to Jasper's arm around her waist.

"I actually like this," she spoke up, "the last band we saw this guy stepped on my shoes and got them all muddy but I didn't even care cause I was having so much fun!"

I laughed, "Well I'm glad to hear that, Alice."

"We should do stuff more often… we should go out more." she nodded. I bit my lip, not knowing how to answer that.

"I mean, come on, you can't be busy _every _day even if you do work a full schedule. You have to make time for fun Bella otherwise you'll go crazy," she spoke as if it were fact. It kind of was.

"We'll find you a guy friend if you're worried about being a third wheel… which is ridiculous for you to think, by the way." Jasper but in.

I rolled my eyes, "it's not about me being single," and I was telling the truth… sort of. Mostly. I had gained enough reassurance from them to know just because they were now more than friends didn't mean I would be excluded from certain outings, but at the same time I couldn't help but look at them and think that I at least wanted something similar…

A boyfriend wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't top on my priority list, I wasn't going to die without one… it would just be a refreshing change. Nothing serious.

But then I always thought against it. I didn't have time for a boyfriend if I didn't have time for my friends and I didn't even have time for myself!

For now, I'd settle on just getting things back into the right order. I'd have to take better care of myself, and definitely be less of a stranger to Alice and Jasper. I owed them at least that much. I owed _myself _at least that much… it wouldn't be greedy for me to go after it.

Just when Alice opened her mouth to say something, a loud voice boomed out at us from the stage speakers, completely drowning her out.

This band didn't waste anytime. The singer yelled out a greeting to the crowd and something with a profanity and they started right into their set, guitars distorted and blasting heavily. This band was much different from the ones we'd seen today. This one was harsher, louder… and apparently rougher.

Seconds into the first song the crowd rushed the stage, everyone wanting to get closer. I hadn't even noticed how many people had gathered for this one particular band until now. It was hard to breathe, or even move for that matter with bodies pressed up all around you.

With one violent shove that seemed to come from a whole group of people, I heard Alice yelp and disappear below. Shocked, I didn't know what to do- I couldn't even reach her now- somehow she had managed to fall a few rows behind me. The last thing I saw was Jasper's confused expression and then he dipped down below to follow her… wherever she went. My guess was that she fell. I only hoped Jasper could at least get a hand on her. She'd be trampled in the crowd if he didn't.

I couldn't even see what happened to them, the crowd was too dense and the feeling made me feel claustrophobic.

I was starting to get annoyed as I tried to make my way out, not wanting to be so near the stage anymore since that seemed to be where the movement was worse. I had to push, shove, and maneuver my way out and Jasper nor Alice were anywhere in sight.

Gasping for air, I finally reached the edge of the crowd and was able to get away from it. It was like finally breaking the surface of the water once you'd gone under. The fresh, crisp air hit your face and you felt a wave of relief.

I was starting to worry now. I couldn't find them and neither one answered their phone when I tried calling. I didn't know where to go…

Should I stay here and wait for this band to finish? Were they still stuck in the crowd somewhere? Or did Jasper get them out as soon as he found Alice?

All the while I had to think of the time. I assumed the band playing now was almost done. I'd have to walk across the festival grounds to look for the stage Edward and his band would be playing at. That would all take time… I'd have to start making my way soon- especially if I wanted to stand close…

But what about Jasper and Alice? I didn't want to leave them, not at all.

But then I thought surely they'd know I'd head over to the band's stage at 4:30. It would be the smartest place to look for me and get back together.

With a sigh, and feeling slightly alone, I started walking early over to the stage where my band would be. As I walked I scanned the merchandise booths, the first aid tents, the crowds and even the traffic of people walking past me for any signs of Alice and Jasper. I didn't see them. Something inside me was telling me I just wasn't looking hard enough but I couldn't put my finger on it and my cell phone never rang with them calling me back. It all pointed to them meeting me at 4:30. It was the only common ground and obvious place that stuck out to meet.

When I reached the stage there were people on it setting up.

I watched and couldn't help but feel a little surreal… I just sort of stared at the drum set that was being put up, the microphone stand being adjusted, the speakers and all the wires and the sound equipment… I just stared at it all and was for some reason amazed that it was the equipment Edward, Emmet and James played on. It was all their stuff. I unconsciously took a few steps closer, craning my neck slightly and standing a bit on my tip toes for a better look…

All of a sudden I felt a hand grip my arm with such haste and urgency it scared the living crap out of me. I whipped around and gasped.

"Alice!" I yelled.

Her eyes were wide- with fear it looked like- but when she spoke it portrayed a different emotion. Excitement.

"BELLA! We have to go!" she urged, pulling me by my forearm.

"What!? Why?" I asked, incredulous and like she was crazy. Jasper's musical laugh broke through at the look on my face.

"Don't worry. This is a good thing. Just listen to her." he assured with a smirk.

"Come on!" Alice was at my arm still, pulling and shaking it with such hectic urgency I could only nod and try to keep up after her as she lead me, weaving through the crowd, in a different direction entirely.

I didn't bother to ask where we were going. Something in the pit of my stomach told me it had to be important since she was dragging me away from the show I'd been waiting to see since they told me they bought tickets.

Her little pixie sized frame eased in and out and between oncoming crowds relentlessly. Jasper followed behind me, when I looked back at him in question, wondering if they had both gone crazy, he merely smiled and raised his eyebrows knowingly.

I started to look where we were going- as we walked the crowd got smaller and smaller, until finally we were just in a vacant, bland looking field with grass. The vender booths and stages had been left far behind us. I looked around and panicked slightly. There was nothing in sight. What had we done? I gulped when I checked the time- it was already 4:45. The band was already going on I'm sure. Why had they pulled me away when we were so close?… when the performance was right _there_ just waiting to go on… I'm sure Emmet, Edward, James were only backstage… just moments away from revealing themselves.

So what brought us here? Why?…

"Uh… Alice?" I tried to sound calm, not whiny or complaining… but the quiver in my voice that we had just quite possibly missed what I had been looking forward to, depending on… what I was going to use as motivation to get a life and start living again.

"Oh, Bella don't look at me that way!" Alice said softly, feeling guilty for I'm sure the sappy look she saw in my eyes, nearly on the verge of tears… they didn't know how much I really was counting on this concert.

"Don't worry, Bella, this will be better… trust us…" Jasper reassured. As he rubbed my arm soothingly I couldn't help but feel a wave of calm go over me and I relaxed and nodded, forcing my tears away.

"It's just a little further…" Alice insisted, pulling me by my wrist deeper into the vacant field.

I could only nod and let them lead me. Everything was out of my control now, so I just let go and breathed, calming my nerves.

Eventually, as we walked further, I could see quickly approaching in the distance what looked like to be a parking lot… it was separated from the field by a short fence, no taller than my waist or so.

In the parking lot sat two, tall, huge buses- tour buses.

I stared at them as we got closer and closer… I couldn't allow myself to assume or hope the best- that one of these buses could belong to my favorite band… but then if it didn't, then why would we be here?

Jasper had said this would be better.

No, it couldn't possibly… could it?

"Alice….?" I spoke, barely even a whisper as I squinted at the buses, still trying to figure it all out. Her answer was a bright, brilliant beaming smile that matched Jasper's as we approached the fence in front on a black tour bus. When we got there, there was only four other people standing along side the fence. Waiting. One girl had a camera, another person had her cell phone out as if waiting, and someone else had a t-shirt and a sharpie marker.

It all pointed to one thing.

They were waiting for someone. Or _some ones_…

It dawned on me that we were waiting too…

"Alice… Jazz-?"

"Surprise," was all Jasper answered.


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

"Alice if you don't tell me what we're doing right now…. I'm gonna… I'm gonna…" what? I didn't know what I would do. Quite frankly I was still too awe struck to comprehend any of it right now.

"When we got separated in the crowd, Alice fell and scraped her knee really bad- so we had to leave and find a first aid tent." Jasper started explaining. I took a moment to look down at Alice's knee, it was bandaged, but her leggings had torn on the contact it made with the ground. "and so we got out of the crowd and found one… and when we were there it took a while to get attention cause the tent was small and pretty full. So we took a seat and we were just talking about how we had to hurry and get back to you, when one of the concert workers heard us… and so we told him what happened, by then one of the first aid employees started fixing up Alice… and I kept an eye on the crowd in case you walked by…"

"Oh! I did walk by a first aid tent! There was one near the stage we were at…" I brought up, remembering back to the gut feeling I had that Jasper and Alice were near by, I just wasn't seeing them… how strange, I thought. They were right there under my nose..

"We know." Jasper smiled and let out a small laugh, "We saw you walk by and shouted to you, but you didn't turn to look. We pointed you out to the guy who was talking to us….uh, Mike, I think, right Alice?" Jasper asked.

She nodded sheepishly, I wondered why she seemed to want to not dwell on the guy's name… but I didn't bother to bring it up. Jasper seemed to have remembered something and cleared his throat and hastily carried on with the story.

"Mike offered to go get you for us, since Alice couldn't really walk yet and I didn't want to leave her alone but we said that was okay, we knew where you'd be heading… and told him about your favorite band… and… basically… that's what lead us here…" he trailed off. I didn't exactly follow. My brows furrowed in reasoning, trying to piece it all together.

"This… Mike guy, what? Tipped you off?… for what?"

"He told us to come here as soon as we could otherwise we'd miss them. He said this is the band's tour bus and a lot of the bands playing today park their buses out here away from the crowds and everyone. It's far out enough no one ever gets close and so they walk in between sets, back and forth here and out onto the tour grounds without ever being noticed. It's a lot quicker this way, he said, since they're not always stopped every two seconds by someone who happens to recognize them." Jasper explained.

My eyes widened as I realized fully what we were doing now. "Wow! I never thought I'd say this but, Alice, I'm so glad you hurt yourself!" I teased. Alice laughed

"I know! Right?"

Jasper rolled his eyes and held on tighter to her, "Anyway, we thought you'd rather meet them personally than just see them live… hope you don't mind…"

"NO! are you joking me!? This is amazing! I can't believe this happened! I feel so lucky right now it's unbelievable!" I exclaimed, my excitement was obvious. I had never been so excited- or slightly nervous- for anything. This was far more than I could have ever wished or hoped for.

"Aw! I'm so glad!" Alice smiled warmly.

And so we stood there, leaning on the fence with the few others by us. I hoped no one else showed up. It would make it even better- more exclusive than it already was.

It's not like the band was huge or anything, but even still. I was just paranoid any minute some huge crowd would pop out of nowhere and bombard the fence and completely repel the band away.

Jasper kept tabs on the time, letting us know the band's set should be over any minute and that they would start making their way back soon to the bus. I couldn't keep myself from fidgeting nervously. I had to take deep breaths to calm myself. I was no longer the afraid kind of nervous- I was more excited now and eager to at least see them…

So close up…

It was unimaginable.

Edward Cullen….

Right in front of my face, I could just reach out and touch him…. Make eye contact… say hi… anything.

_It was my favorite __band_, I had a small, musical crush on him, so that basically qualified him as my favorite _person_.

I kind of wished I had something for them to sign, but I had nothing. It didn't matter though. A 'hello' was just as good as anything signed.

Alice, however, dug through her purse for a pen and found a small post-it note tablet at the bottom of her bag that would have to do. She offered it to me but I refused, knowing I'd be too nervous once I actually saw them to function enough to ask them for an autograph.

I stood, fidgeting slightly. Alice shivered next to me, Jasper had his arms around her, creating heat by friction as he ran his hands over her arms. Looking at them I remembered a time when he had treated us equally. I knew he liked her though, the second after we had all met and hung out and all three of us were officially friends, Alice would talk to me about her and Jasper's phone calls… like it was something I got too… when the most he ever did was text or email me. I had to explain to her so many times that it meant something! But at the time I don't think she wanted to believe it, it was too good to be true to her. I was just excited to see it all happen right before my very eyes.

I had my back to the bus and sat on the edge of the fence, forcing myself to remain calm. I knew it would be best if I didn't see anyone coming.

I was right.

I didn't have to see it with my own eyes to know what was near. All I saw were Alice's eyes widen and her smile radiant as she clutched my arm, completely excited for me. I shut my eyes and couldn't will myself to turn around. I heard Jasper laugh under his breath and he gripped me on my arms and pulled me off the fence and turned me around.

"Look." he muttered. Alice squealed, jumping up and down.

I opened my eyes and there they were.

Two tall, masculine figures that were instantly recognizable were walking along the edge of the fence farther down to our left. I couldn't see them well just yet, the people who had lined up before us had blocked them partially. It didn't matter though.

I heard the hushed, excited voices of the few people next to us and I knew _they _were there…. My heart pounded like no other. My hands felt like they were freezing from nervousness. That tended to happen when my nerves were on edge or I felt most frightened.

It was strange, to be frightened.

But I thought maybe I was. What was I going to say? I had no idea. I didn't even know if I could react.

And then it all happened so quickly I was afraid I wouldn't have time to react if I didn't get a hold of myself. I forced the fear and nervousness out of my system entirely. I couldn't let this opportunity just fly by me… I had to do something. I actually had to live this with a clear head to remember it all- even though the adrenaline rushing through my system was pressing, I had to focus. I had to see them. It was the one thing the last few days had been leading up to. I had to make it worth it- and then some.

Edward was first down the small row of people. I noticed Emmet behind him, all smiles and waiting for Edward to finish up signing a shirt a girl about my age was holding out to him. Behind the two band guys, I recently noticed a third man- older and clearly a tour employee. I didn't know if he was their tour manager or security or what, but he watched from a slight distance and let Edward and Emmet have their room. He glanced at his watch and I think he was biding the time they had. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to where Edward and Emmet had to be after this…

And where was James? Was he even still… around?

No matter.

Edward finished off the shirt and signed a boy's CD with the same sharpie the woman let him use. I saw him sign another girl's shirt except this one was still on her back. All the while he was gracious and smiled- he was polite, but slightly reserved. He exchanged words with them and said something that made the small group laugh. I felt my heart soar. He was so adorable. How could he be so beautiful and courteous at the same time? It was if he knew perfectly well how grateful he should be. He took his time with each fan, despite the muttered words the man with the watch would lean in and tell him. His green eyes were lit up with an acute awareness. His unkempt, copper colored hair blew in the chilly Washington wind, he ran a hand through it as he flashed one fan a crooked, casual smile. I felt myself gushing at the sight of it.

I shook my head determinedly. I was acting childish. But there he was. He was beautiful. I couldn't deny and couldn't be ashamed of the fact I found him so.

Following close behind him was Emmet. Muscular and yet full of life and exuberance. The people had him sign the same items Edward had previously. Emmet seemed warmer- personality wise. I didn't know the reason why but didn't want to waste time pondering it. He grinned ruefully at everyone and joked around a bit. He seemed to enjoy the attention. The girl with her cell phone out snapped about five pictures in his face with her camera phone. He didn't seem to mind.

When they had the phone in Edward's face, he simply looked at them a moment- then looked away, letting them snap their pictures but otherwise ignoring it. He didn't pose- then again no one asked him to, but he seemed more determined to look down at what he was signing than Emmet did. Emmet often looked up- back and forth between what they had handed him to the person's face to engage in some sort of interaction- even if it was just a greeting.

Finally, Edward was starting to make his way towards Alice, Jasper and I.

Alice smiled casually, like she didn't want to make a big deal over him- which I knew she didn't. The only reason she handed him the post-it note pad to sign was for me. I watched as they interacted. Edward had mumbled something to her as the pen poised over the note paper, as if asking who to make the autograph out to. Jasper merely nodded towards him and said hello…

I took a deep, steadying breath as Edward moved from Jasper towards me…

His body swayed for a moment, making the transition over- and then his eyes caught mine. I had never seen eyes so green, so sharply contrasted by the odd bronze color of his hair.

I had opened my mouth to say something, taking a deep breath to slow the beat of my heart- but something in his expression changed.

I saw it in his eyes. Something had clicked in his mind and it was as quick as that- he looked away from me with a sharp turn of his head, his body facing towards the opposite direction, waiting for Emmet to finish up. His back completely towards me now. My jaw dropped in surprise.

I think he mumbled something to Emmet, along the lines of 'ready? Let's go."

Emmet told him to hold on, and gestured towards my end of the line along the fence- I turned and noticed there were now three new people waiting on the other side of me I didn't know were there before.

Edward looked annoyed and turned on his heel, with a sigh that conveyed great effort on his part, he approached my side of the fence again.

And completely skipped over me.

My voice cracked as I tried to speak. The voices of Alice and Jasper interfering on my part were drowned out to me. I was more interested in getting to the bottom of it myself. Surely I hadn't done something to offend him… could I? No. that was nearly impossible. All I did was stand here.

"Hey…" I objected softly, incase it was just an honest mistake, but the way he was determined to ignore me made me think otherwise. I _knew _otherwise…

He didn't even give the honor of looking up at the few people who remained next to me. He quickly signed, scribbling his name in a haste that was almost downright _rude_. He never flinched, he never budged. He kept insanely focused on the paper and pen and didn't even as much as lend an ear to what I was saying. It was like I wasn't even there at all…

"Excuse me!" I spoke up, forgetting about how much I loved his music, about how handsome I thought he was, about how talented he was to me… Talents or not you just don't treat a fan that way. You should never be that rude period. "Excuse me… I waited here just like everybody else!" I shouted. "I don't even have a stupid paper or shirt for you to sign and you can't even say hello to me? It isn't fair."

I thought I saw him twitch, but otherwise he showed no sign of remorse. All I saw was his attitude. I stared at him, as if daring for him to look at me. Regardless, he didn't.

"Wow. You're a real jerk, you know that? I've been listening to your music for years. You're my favorite band and I've got to say you turning out to be a complete asshole was really shitty... Thanks." I said to him in a snotty tone, hoping to be at least a little bit bitchy. He deserved it. I was outraged.

And then my heart nearly stopped as he turned his gaze towards me, his eyes like daggers, "Are you _done?" _he spat after I seemingly finished my little tantrum.

I gasped lightly, never feeling so enraged in my entire life- for no legitimate reason at that! What had I done wrong!? It didn't matter now.

I knew Edward Cullen was an ass. He was never as gracious as he seemed to be. It was singly one of the most disappointing things I'd ever witnessed in my life. This _day _was one of the most disappointing of my life… how could it all start out so perfectly? Only to end terribly?

Edward shoved a pad of paper back into the hands of another fan at the end of the small line. He scoffed under his breath, almost to himself and turned to Emmet.

"Let's go now." his tone was flat, anger filled in it. But why? Was it because of what I had said?

"Hold on, dude, we just got one more…" Emmet came towards me now. I tried to smile, but Edward's pissy mood wasn't helping me remember my manners.

"We have to go, Emmet" Edward insisted through clenched teeth, his eagerness apparent.

"Just one-"

"Fine."

And with that, Edward left without him.

It was the rudest thing I think I've ever witness.

"Fuck you."

I muttered smally, underneath my breath. Emmet's eyes widened as he looked from me to Edward. I ignored the shocked expressions on Jasper and Alice's faces. For some reason Alice pressed me to be quiet, to stop it before it went any further…

Edward actually turned around. He turned around so quickly I was almost afraid he was going to yell back at me. But the only look in his eyes were shock- and then a flash of something else, something softer, much softer than anger or hostility, but he darted his eyes away from mine before I could make out what it was.

Before he left the area of the bus entirely, he muttered something to the tour employee, eyeing me the whole time.

The tour guy looked surprised for a moment, but nodded.

Emmet dashed to follow behind Edward, shooting me an apologetic look.

Once they were out of sight, I let out the breath I had been holding and shut my eyes.

When I opened them the tour personnel was right in front of me.

"Miss, can you come with me, please?"

I was dumb founded. "Why?!"

"I'm going to have to have you wait in our guest area back on festival grounds. It was upon request, I'm afraid."

"What?? How come?!" Alice exclaimed, just as confused and outraged as I was.

"Was it because of what she said??" Jasper asked, his face looking determined.

"Disorderly conduct will not be tolerated at this event. Mr. Cullen feels he has reason to believe you have behaved inappropriately. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the event and refrain from this area further on out. You'll be held at the nearest security station until one of our employees has time to question you about matters at which point you may state your case."

"Are you serious??" I complained, feeling completely drained and emotionally exhausted. I just found out my favorite person in my favorite band was the biggest prick ever- what more could you do to me?

The man nodded and I heaved an exasperated sigh. I turned to Jasper and Alice.

Alice winced and looked apologetic, she tucked the post it notepad into her pocket out of sight. Jasper looked annoyed and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Well… what can you do? The guy's an asshole and I guess the performers here have to have some authority and can speak out when they feel they've been disrespected… unfortunately this time it was unjust. I'm sorry Bella. I'm sure it's nothing. I think he was just trying to be an ass and complained about you… you did nothing wrong." he told me, a sorry look in his eyes.

"It's okay, Jasper. Thanks. It wasn't your fault."

Alice bit her lip fidgetting, "You shouldn't have said anything…" she muttered so low it was almost incoherent.

"What?…" I asked, incredulous. She shook her head insistently.

"Nothing. I'll tell you later. I'm so sorry Bella."

"I'll see you guys later I guess…try to have fun at least… I'm sorry this had to happen. I feel like I've ruined every-"

"Don't. it's nothing. Don't blame yourself, Bella." Alice cut me off.

Then I felt a persistent nudge at my elbow. "Miss…" the employee reminded me.

"Alright… later…" I sighed weakly, following the security man alongside the fence until we reached farther into the festival grounds and away from the bus parking where the fence ended and the land came together.

It would be an understatement to say that I was hurt. I was crushed.

**Please review! : **

**Next up, most likely Edward's POV of this chapter...**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Ok, I know I had said Edward POV for this chapter but it'll actually be next chapter… sorry! Hope no one minds… please review! Thanks to all the wonderful reviews so far!! **_

_**BPOV**_

_I couldn't believe I got pulled aside- by security, at that! I did nothing wrong! I wasn't out of hand… was I? No. That guy was an asshole. _

_Edward Cullen was __rude_. I couldn't believe it. Never did I once stop to think that maybe my favorite band, my favorite guitarist could be a complete and utter _jerk_.

I was standing alone now behind one of the stages. I didn't think it was the security station, it was more of just a behind the scenes area. There was equipment everywhere and people with badges and lanyards around their necks signifying they belonged there and served some sort of purpose. I could be being held by security- or at least kept an eye on. I only saw employees in all black uniforms- polos and slacks- and assumed they were security, but so far no one came up to question me. I wondered if it was just all apart of the 'punishment'- if they kept you waiting on purpose so you wouldn't act up again. Either way, I felt like a stupid five year old in time out. The whole situation was outrageous.

But at least I was close to the stage now. I had heard one of the techies explaining that they have a draw each morning and whichever band gets it gets to play another set. Guess whose band got to play _again_?

And that'd be just great- if I actually got to meet the band I wanted, if I had actually had a good experience with them, if they at least deserved it. No. if they (meaning Edward) were going to brush off fans that way then why should they get more stage time? It was ironic I got more of them once I no longer even wanted to support them. It was amazing how one experience could so drastically set you against something. But sure enough, here I was, being held basically against my will most likely for what I had said- or supposedly done- to piss off the almighty, glorious lead singer.

I stood off to the side, getting an up close view of the stage. Just because Edward Cullen turned out to be a dirt bag didn't mean I couldn't at least stare at him and shoot daggers with my eyes.

At that moment I wished I hadn't gotten my good view.

There, right in front of me had to be the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. My heart dropped to the ground as I realized what type of girls he must like. They made a _breathtaking _couple...

There was Edward, scrambling to gather his things before going on stage, he stayed hidden to the side, out of sight from the crowd. Next to him, shuffling about with him was probably the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen. She stood behind Edward and waited for him as he bent down and fiddled with some wires that had to do with the sound. She seemed annoyed or irritated, he didn't seem to notice, too focused on something else. I'm sure with his looks she'd forgive him.

I was probably staring too hard, because the beautiful girl looked up and caught my eye.

She had long, shiny golden silky blonde hair cascading in waves down her shoulders, her eyes were lined with a simple swoop of black eyeliner, her lips were painted a bright, brilliant red, showcasing their fullness. Her top was casual, t-shirt material, yet form fitting to her perfect body, her jeans were form fitting as well, and just above them an inch of her midriff showed casually.

She broke off my gaze intentionally and whipped around to grab a bass guitar. I still watched, puzzled. She strapped it on and followed Edward with his guitar and they both stepped out onstage, the audience finally reacting and shouting from the sudden entrance.

Simultaneously, who I immediately recognized to be Emmett, the drummer of the band, bolted up to his drum set. He tilted his head, as if cracking his neck, and stretched out his arms before shaking himself out as he sat at the drum stool.

He seemed nice. Maybe Edward Cullen was just the token asshole guy of the band- although I'm sure the beautiful blonde could be down right mean if she wanted to. Since when did my favorite band look so… _intimidating_?

Then I saw the blonde girl move, she gracefully stepped up to the drummer's platform and leaned in over the drum set to place a juicy kiss on Emmett's cheek. He grinned at her. It seemed intentional, she purposely let her red lipstick stain his face. Emmett made no move to wipe it away.

_Oh_… I thought. Maybe they were something?

I quickly forgot about James. Out of sight, out of mind. I figured they had their reason for kicking him out (which is what I assumed had happened) of the band. He and Edward probably were in competition for resident jerk or something.

I looked away purposely as they played. In fact I just left the side of the stage all together. I strayed away the farthest I could without actually leaving the area, since security had yet to question me. I only wondered what Jasper and Alice would do. Were they waiting in the crowd? Biding their time? I didn't know.

It was difficult though- hearing his voice. Edward's voice… he seemed so different from the one I'd met back in the parking lot. He was actually in good spirits now and joked with the crowd, made small talk on stage with Emmett and even the beautiful blonde bass player. He was energetic and enthusiastic- said a few words about how they were 'lucky to be here, playing with so many great bands.' Eventually, I learned how to tune it all out and sat on the edge of a security golf cart- his amplified voice and music no longer reaching me from so far behind the stage, as far as I could go.

In what seemed like forever, the set was finally done. I wondered if maybe now, with security not watching the crowd someone would come over and talk to me, or at least get me escorted out of here… not that that was necessary.

But no one ever came. Instead I was left leaning against a metal fence that separated the backstage area from the general public, people my age or younger kids roaming trying to get a better look or sneak a peak of the action.

I wanted to tell them they sure as hell weren't missing anything. _Especially from this band_.

I was starting to get annoyed and rather angry no one thought to take care of me and my "situation." I was just left standing completely wasting my time and I'm sure the money Alice and Jasper had paid to even get here. It was all steadily going down the drain and written off as one of the biggest, lamest disappointments of my life.

I tapped my foot and checked the time on my phone. I was too pissed to notice someone walking right towards me.

I huffed impatiently and crossed my arms in frustration, shooting dirty looks at anyone who would turn my way.

"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen."

Came a musical, even, casual voice so alluring, yet completely natural and conversational.

With my arms still crossed, I turned my head and saw him, coming to a stop right in front of me, with his hand outstretched for a proper introduction.

I blinked, unbelievingly. I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights. But could you honestly blame me? No you couldn't!

Edward Cullen was either bipolar or completely insane! I wondered if maybe he had multiple personalities.

As I thought this, he looked almost as if I were the crazy one when I didn't shake his hand when he offered it to me.

He let out a small, almost sorry sounding sigh, "I understand." he muttered, and quickly dropped his hand back down to his side.

I stayed silent and only let my eyes roam at the sight of him- camouflaging my gaze as an intentional dirty look, when it really was just an excuse to check him out. I couldn't help it. I didn't care if I appeared rude for staring- in fact, I wanted to come off as rude! He deserved it. He deserved every second of awkward silence I was going to put him through, every minute of irritation I hoped to cause him if he continued to stand here and try to have a civilized conversation with me.

_How dare he_….

He had no right looking as good as he did either. He was slightly sweaty from the show, his bronze hair barely a shade darker from the moisture. His chocolate brown button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the crease of his elbows was wrinkled from the vigorous activity on stage. His jeans were form fitting to his lean, muscular body and yet they weren't _too _tight…

I hated Edward Cullen.

He was too perfect and too horrible all at the same time.

I remained silent and he ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what to say next. My gaze only burned through him. He knew exactly who I was- the girl he'd so intentionally blown off, when I was the only person out of what- like 6 people waiting for him, tops? There was no excuse for the way he acted. It was unforgivable- almost. No… I'm pretty sure it was inexcusable. There was nothing that was going to come out of this man's mouth that was going to sway me. I had to stand my ground and let him know how angry I was, and how I had the right to be (all without crying of course, and I had to hide how hurt I really was).

I had only wanted him to like me, even if it was merely in the form of common courtesy when I met him for the brief moments he was there by the bus.

"So did you enjoy the show?" he decided to ask me. His face was held in a subdued friendly manner- his mouth not exactly smiling, but not near frowning or scowling either. His voice sounded… _pleasant_. He was trying to be _nice_.

"_The show?" _I squinted, my arms still tightly folded, my body leaning away from him as if he was particularly offensive, or smelled. (when in fact he didn't- not even with how he was sweating…)

His face dropped to a confused expression, his brows furrowed, "You mean you didn't see the set?"

I scoffed, "Were you expecting me to?? _Honestly_?" I quirked an eyebrow. He seemed to be in understanding now, nodding his head.

"I see… I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I had just brought you back here hoping you'd get a good view- but I guess not. You didn't hear me shout out to you then, did you?" he asked, his lips pursed waiting for my answer.

"Shout out..??" I barely breathed, _what was he talking about? There was no way he could know my name to be able to give me a shout out while he was onstage…_

He merely nodded again, "Ah, of course not. I have offended you far more than I expected- which is perfectly fine. I can't blame you. And I fully, humbly apologize for that. Honestly, it was the deepest of misunderstandings… I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you, it's no excuse, I only ask you at least hear me out…"

"Hear you… out?" my voice was hardly a whisper, I could only relax my stance and let down my defenses to see where he was coming from… what he could possibly say to explain what had happened in the parking lot. I was extremely curious. How could this turn out to be anything other than what I had originally thought it was? Why was he being so nice now? So…_polite._

He seemed like he was trying… _trying _to get me to like him.

My heart thundered. It seemed to do that so much now since I'd been here on the festival grounds- even more with my favorite singer before me. Jerk or no jerk, I would have to wait and find out

"May I?" he asked, his hand slightly gesturing to a vacant spot off to the side, near where I had been standing before by the fence.

"Uh… sure." I was still dazed and confused, my expression expectant yet completely stunned. I could only try to focus now- whatever he was going to say to me. It was hard to remember I was angry at him, I thought I hated him. This Edward Cullen was completely different from the one I had met not too long ago. I decided to go with it, anything just to erase the terrible experience. Let him try to fix it and wash it away to be new.

He leaned against the fence and angled his body towards me, his hands resting back on the metal railing as he looked at me, his green eyes blinking. He made room for me next to him against the railing, but moved down a little farther, understanding that I didn't want to be in such close perimeter to him right now.

He cleared his throat and seemed to be searching for the words to start off, as I waited I noticed people passing by, looking down on us from a ramp that connected the lower and higher halves of the festival grounds. He didn't notice the pointing, the anxious yells and screams to friends, all of which along the lines of 'look, there's Edward Cullen!"

Apparently I wasn't the band's only fan in Washington state.

A small crowd gathered along the edge of the hand railing of the ramp, making a line and looking down on us- just watching.

'Who's that girl?' I heard someone say, far off into the distance.

"I… I don't want you to think I do this all the time." Edward had finally started, my eyes darted to him almost immediately, listening intently. "I don't really socialize or make much contact with fans- with anyone at shows or whoever happens to come out… other than what's necessary and appropriate of course… I just want you to understand that before I go any further. This isn't normal for me. In fact, it's completely out of character. I'm a rather solitary person." he continued, sounding serious. I could only listen and take it all in for what it was- word by word- I'd analyze it later.

He let out a tired sigh, "I had just come back from doing a set when my band mate, Emmett, and I decided to go back to the bus. Unfortunately, after that set, just before we left for the bus I… had a rather _difficult _time with my band members and a rather… _persistent_… sound technician. It was a terrible confrontation and rather irritating on my part- so of course what happened before didn't help me when I came along and spotted the line waiting for us by the bus. I tried to control my temper, but what had happened before was much too pressing… and then there _you _were…"

"Me? And what did I do, Edward? _Tell me_." I spat, the anger flaming up in me at the mere reference towards me as he spoke his little story.

"You stood there."

His answer was so simple, but his eyes were intense and his gaze never faltered away from mine. I feared I couldn't hold it much longer, but I forced myself not to look away. I had to know. I didn't know if my eyes burned from the lack of blinking or from the emotion and angry tears.

"Really, Bella, I can't-"

"How do you know my name?" I cut him off, first things first- how did he know my name?

He seemed taken back. But really, what else did he expect? You just can't drop a name like that and not think you won't be questioned for it.

"Your friend. The black haired one. Alice."

"Alice!?" I shouted.

"She told me you were much too shy to ask me for an autograph yourself when I asked who I should write it out too. She said 'Bella,' and I asked if you were Bella… the girl towards the end of the line. She confirmed who you were, and so I proceeded to write out the autograph…"

"Why did you do that? Only to go on and be rude to me- to be _terrible_??"

His gaze softened exponentially, he looked sincerely sorry now. "Because I wanted to leave you with something. I knew there was no way I would be able to talk to you. I prayed you would just let me walk by and your friend would just… let you have your autograph later… and hopefully what I wrote would be enough to satisfy you for your favorite band." he smiled gently, "but of course you wouldn't let it go. Stubborn. And so I tried to ignore you- as impossible as it was… I just couldn't talk to you, couldn't look at you because I knew it would be so obvious, _especially _to Emmett…" he looked at me now, just hoping I could understand without having him to continue on further, but I shook my head. I was too scared and nervous to piece it together- to even let my mind contemplate what was happening. It couldn't handle the complete turn the situation had taken from horrendous to possibly…_alright_. Fine. Good. _Perfect_?

"What about Emmett?" I finally found my voice.

"He'd know I liked you."

I froze. I completely, utterly froze. I was speechless. Almost numb I was so shocked! He seemed to take my reaction as a terrible sign-

"Of course it's no excuse I just… when you did press me for answers, then , at the bus, you were so angry, I couldn't help but be reminded and my anger from earlier flared up- and a small part of me _wanted _to be rude to you- just to throw Emmett off- but I think even then he knew. Because just like he's never seen me fond of anyone in particular, he's never seen me so cruel." his words came out in a rush, eager to repent himself and explain at the same time.

"I…." I stammered for words, there was nothing.

Alice.

Why did she say I shouldn't have said anything to Edward? When he was being so terrible? Did she know?

How?

Oh it was all so confusing…

And what made Edward so angry in the first place? What did it matter if Emmett could tell he…. _Liked _me?

I couldn't even bring myself to think such an outrageous, preposterous thought. No way.

"I'm sorry, Bella. If I could explain more… I would. Right now I can't exactly. I have to go… but please, _please_, believe me. I'm being nothing but honest. What you saw back there really wasn't me. I understand how put off you were, how shocked, but really who could ever be that way to you? For no reason, at that… who could tolerate themselves to be unpleasant to someone so beautiful?"

I then realized this whole situation, me being back here for 'security purposes' was nonsense. It was all just an act. He had only wanted me backstage for his show. He just wanted the chance to tell me… to explain. Our public confrontation was just an excuse.

I still didn't say anything. A small part of me set off a warning in my head- careful, watch out- make sure this isn't a groupie ploy… but that ridiculous notion was diminished. I knew it wasn't. I knew Edward Cullen was different. If anything, rude or not, he was different.

I looked down and inhaled deeply, trying to think of how to respond. After a moment where I still had nothing, Edward, who had been standing waiting patiently, gently pressed on.

"Bella…I have to go."

"Oh!…" I was surprised at how it disappointed me so…

He gave me a small, cautious smile. "I'm filling in on another set for one of our friends on tour." he explained, his eyes soft.

"I see." I only nodded.

He sighed, "See your friend Alice… we'll be here in the state two more nights. That little piece of information, whatever you choose to do with it, will make sense once you see her." his smile was much more natural now, dazzling and crooked. His charm seemed to ooze off of him.

I smiled back, which surprised him as much as me. I had forgotten about everything before. Well, not quite. I had forgotten about it in the angry, resentful sense. I still remembered it because I was curious. I wanted to know what had made Edward so angry. Why it mattered so much Emmett, in that moment by the tour bus, knew Edward had found me… attractive. So many questions- and now Edward was clouding my mind further with the way he spoke, hinting along lightly.

"Again, I'm so very sorry for what happened. Can you at least consider to forgive me?" he hoped, his expression slightly pained, waiting for impact that would supposedly be me returning the hostility he had so viciously shown earlier.

I sighed and bit my lip, drawing it out and making him sweat. "I guess," I rolled my eyes, but gave him a playful grin. He gave me that crooked smile again.

There was a call for him over my shoulder, frantic.

"I have to go- be safe, be careful out there." he winked, and with a light touch on my arm as a farewell, he dashed away.


	6. Chapter 6

_**EPOV**_

**(Previously… Before he met Bella by the tour bus)**

I exhaled, feeling a sense of accomplishment- more than that, a sense of… fulfillment almost, or contentment after having just finished a set with Emmett and Rosalie. Our sets were getting better, as in we had more recognizable faces in the crowd, enthusiastic ones that pushed their way to the front of the stage, more people singing along than ever before. With that you couldn't help but feel that it just might work out after all. Having lost James.. Or getting rid of him, rather, the band had sort of taken a hit and a few steps back with only one forward.

I was starting to feel more and more comfortable with our place in the scene- more firmly grounded with each and every show, every tour, with that it was easier to feel and know this just wouldn't be ripped up and rooted from beneath us- our passion just taken away because we supposedly didn't have what it takes. I knew we did though, and I knew our band at least had a few good five years in her at least- if only fate could be good to us after- or maybe it was all just up to us. Maybe Emmett and I had weathered it through, and Rosalie was like heaven sent.

I grabbed a small towel and wiped down my face and shook it in my slightly damp hair as I exited off to the side of the stage, side stepping past the girls or random members of the general public that techies sometimes allowed to squeeze by and get stage views in hopes of getting somewhere with them. I ignored people and their camera phones, kids lined up at the side of the stage behind a fence that wanted desperately to be behind it if it weren't for security posted all around. I looked up for them and gave a quick wave- which seemed to excite them, and I was a little sorry for them I couldn't stay longer because I saw a girl with our shirt- but I had somewhere to be.

We had won the day's draw, we'd get to play another set within the next 20 minutes or so… but first Emmett and I were going to make a quick stop by the tour bus.

I went backstage, which was kind of like a pit with the way a huge wall ran up the back of it, connecting to the ramp that connected the upper and lower halves of the festival grounds.

I quickly spotted Emmett, talking to some concert goers who were lined up by the side of the stage next to a couple security people. He had a plastic cup that I was guessing was beer- even though we told him to keep it easy with the alcohol before sets. I doubted he'd take it too far though.

"Ready, Em?" I muttered, nudging his humongous bicep with my elbow. He turned around with a grin like the Cheshire cat.

"Hold on a second… where's Rosalie?" he looked over my head to scan the backstage crowd for her- which weren't many people.

"I don't know."

"Oh.. Well, we were talking to Tanya as soon as the set ended and -"

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"What??" he asked, pretending to be innocent and surprised I had cut him off with my question.

"Don't talk to Tanya! She keeps signing up to sound check our sets! You keep putting ideas in her head that I just might like her! _Stop it, Emmet_," I gritted the last part through my teeth, my temper quickly flaring up at the mere irritation and annoyance the mention of Tanya brought up- quite possibly the most unpleasant sound technician on the whole tour. Emmett gave a roarous laugh and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Oh, brother…. What am I going to do with you?"

"Stop meddling with my love life. Leave it alone, Emmett." my anger leaking into my tone of voice with that one.

"Sorry, but I think to call it a "love life"- love, or a woman for that matter- needs to present. The only affair you've got going is music."

"So? I like it that way." I answered automatically. I was pretty content in myself, priding myself on not needing anyone- not in the way that could make or break me. I liked being independent, on my own, not giving anyone the power to ruin my life if they chose to. That's the way I saw it.

"Do you? I don't think you really do. I think you just settle for it because you haven't found anyone."

I leaned back and gave Emmett an incredulous look, in shock something so "profound" had come from his mouth.

"Regardless- setting me up with Tanya? Or trying to? Please, try to pick better next time if you must interfere. You've got to know by now the strawberry blondes- particularly the clingy ones like Tanya- aren't my type."

"Really? I think this has less to do with hair color and more with just you making excuses."

I rolled my eyes, "Get on with it, Emmett, what were you starting to say earlier?"

"Well, Rose and I were talking to Tanya, there's a party later on tonight after the concert ends. It'll be in the back lot by the buses. Basically everyone's going and so we were just thinking… maybe you could go with-Oh hey! Look who it is!" he smiled, gazing over my shoulder, I turned and saw Rosalie… dragging Tanya along with her.

I quickly turned around so I wouldn't make eye contact with her, but by the time I had she had already joined us- and stood directly at my side, as if we already were dating. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone from the side behind the security fence snapping pictures and I prayed to God the kid didn't put them on their myspace… not with me standing next to _this _woman.

I felt her dig her fingers into my upper arm rather than saw her do it- my gaze was so far directed to the side, away from all three of them it wasn't even funny. It was rather rude actually, but Emmett and Rosalie were hardly strangers who called for my utmost humble behavior.. And even though I had just met Tanya at the beginning of the tour, I was hoping she'd be repulsed by my apparent lack of social etiquette. Apparently she didn't go for the gentlemanly type as much, she didn't seem to mind I went out of my way to ignore her. A part of me felt bad, but I shouldn't have had to resort to such measures in the first place. It was ridiculous. We were adults in our 20's, this wasn't third grade when the older girl who had a crush on you was allowed to bully and pressure you into the corner of the playground… and yet I felt like that was exactly what was happening.

"So Edward. I was telling you about the party…Rose and I thought it would be fun…"

"While that does sound… fun… I'll have to pass. I'm filling in for Roger's guitarist today remember? He's one of the last playing today. I'm sure I'll be too spent to go to some party." I lamely lied.

"But everyone will be there… I'll be there…" Tanya squeezed my arm, looking up at my with what I was sure were supposed to be some form of 'bedroom' eyes. Not working.

"Sorry." I shrugged a shoulder, my tone and expression not really convincing to how sorry I was. I wasn't.

"Well…" Tanya trailed off, her finger tracing the curve of my bicep. I raised an eyebrow to her, curious as to what she was thinking, I noticed last second, and much to my anger and panic, that Rosalie had given Emmett the hint that they should leave us alone a moment… they moved off to the side. I only hoped he'd wait for me so we could go back to the bus like we'd planned..

"If you're staying in tonight… maybe I could stay in with you… behind closed doors, you know? It might be more fun than the party after all…" she gave a sly grin. I simply pursed my lips to hide my amusement.

"Tanya- I don't know what Em and Rose have been telling you, but I'll tell you again- _please_- I'm simply not interested. It's getting really, really hard to refuse you in any sort of dignified, polite way now… please, just… let it go." I insisted with every fiber of my being. I had already told her twice already, in as a gentlemanly manner as I could muster. Now she was pushing it, I was about to blow up in her face with a "NO" any day now if she kept this up..

She bit her lip and pretended to be hurt, "Eddie, I'm not asking for a relationship here. That can come in time if that's what you're worried about… I'm simply offering to… well… release some tension…" she grinned seductively, "the favor would be mutual of course."

"Please don't call me that." was all I said, turning to walk away from her, she held onto my arm however.

"Edward, you know where to find me right?" she pulled me down by my hair to whisper in my ear.

"Yeah." I straightened up, "let's just say if I don't call you, don't call me." I winked and turned away from her on my heel and bounded straight for Emmett and Rosalie, who were laughing.

"Let's go," I ordered.

Emmett calmed his laughter and kissed Rosalie on the cheek quickly before striding next to me as we started our walk to the bus. I was silent the first half of the way, letting my anger build up inside of me.

"Edward? What's wrong?" he asked through a half laughing, mocking voice.

"STOP SENDING HER AFTER ME! LEAVE MY PERSONAL LIFE ALONE!" I bellowed, Emmett's eyes widened at my outbursts and seemingly uncontrollable fume.

"Geeze, Edward, we were just trying to help you out, you ARE 23 years old you know, it's okay to like girls now. I swear no one will make fun of you for it." he snickered. I cursed at him under my breath, my anger making me walk faster- but we still had to go a little further until we reached the tour bus.

"Regardless, _Emmett_, I'm not you. I don't constantly need the company of a woman or some form of sexual fraternization every other hour…" spat.

Emmett merely scoffed, "Yet."

I huffed out my anger as I exhaled, annoyed.

"You'll find someone, Edward… one day, you watch... And personally? I just can't _wait_ until it happens." he was the one with the acid tone now. "You're going to feel so stupid, so confused and hopeless… and then what are you going to do? Nothing. You're going to realize we were right and that you weren't as happy by yourself as you thought you were…" he warned, he seemed so full of himself and confident in his answer- so…. _Knowing_. It only irritated me to no end. I growled, clenching my fists as the bus approached in sight.

"I wouldn't hold your breath, Emmett." I muttered.

"We'll see. I have a feeling you can't go much longer. You'll break soon… it's only a matter of time and.. _Who _comes along. I wouldn't be surprised if she was just standing there- waiting for you."

He talked more to himself now, as if revealing some deep observations he had noticed in my life, in my person. It sort of scared me. I thought I hid anything personal far enough underneath the surface to remain nonchalant about it- but was the feeling too great now? Too heavy on my chest? I sort of just felt I'd always be alone, maybe that's why I was so okay and content with it- because I couldn't see it any other way.

Whatever it was, it wasn't helping my anger. Tanya's face and voice flared up in my mind again and then Emmett's words and Rosalie's laugh… all of them thinking they knew me and what I wanted and what I needed when they didn't know anything.

I tried to calm down and put on a casual face and be polite as I saw people waiting for us by the bus- but it was hard, especially with Emmett acting like it was nothing by my side- like he didn't have a care in the world.

I had finished three autographs already, and moved down to a short young woman, about my age with short shiny black hair. She held out a small notepad to me. Weird. But anyway-

"Who should I make this out to?" I asked, the pen poised over the paper.

"Bella." she whispered. I raised an eyebrow.

"Ok.. Bella…"

"Oh I'm not Bella," she whispered again, "My friend is… the girl with the long brown hair… you guys are her _favorite_, but she's too shy to ask for a signature herself.."

I then knew why she was whispering, to be quiet. She didn't want her friend to overhear and get embarrassed. How cute, I thought. Trying to remain secretive myself, I dared a peek out of the corner of my eye to her friend Bella…immediately looking down the row for her description of long brown hair..

_Oh fuck._

Was what first came to mind. I didn't even have to look at her fully to know she was insanely beautiful. She had to be the most stunning thing I had ever seen…. I'd never looked at anyone with such a panic, such an intense wave of approval and satisfaction and admiration and awe at someone's outward appearance. I felt uneasy after I realized it was the pull of attraction I was feeling for her. I knew I'd have to face her- but I also knew I couldn't.

Emmett's face flared up in my mind and out of resentment and spite I wouldn't allow him to see me and this girl. He was right. It was only a matter of time- and she was here waiting for me. I was so angry and annoyed how the universe set out to put me in my place. Serves me right. I didn't like the taste of hopelessness and confusion and stupidity I felt then just standing there- knowing I felt a pull, a magnetic force towards this girl- this woman.

I thought quick. There was no way I'd let her leave and not able to find her again. I felt stupid, but also the slightest bit gutsy and ruthless. I quickly wrote my name, and yet clearly enough the girl could make no mistake it was I who signed it, and then ever so carefully as well, I wrote my number down on the paper too.

I handed it back to her friend, who had introduced herself as Alice at some point, and when she took the paper pad in her hands- she looked at it. Her gaze turned up to meet mine and this line of silent communication went through us, and she seemed to know everything. She nodded, trying to keep the beaming smile off her face for her friend- I felt embarrassed, but it was a small price to pay if the brown haired girl would ever call me.

It only went through my mind momentarily how irrational I was being, how reckless. But I didn't care. Whether it was right or wrong I only knew one thing- I had never felt so immediately attracted to anyone in my life the way I had with that girl. The thought made me angry at Emmett and I refused to eat my words and so I simply didn't approach the beautiful woman. I merely looked at her once, to reassure the attraction I felt and there was definitely no faltering there. She was beautiful. So very beautiful… her eyes bore into my with an intensity so deep I wondered if she already knew what I had done…

I quickly looked away, my gaze only meeting the sight of Emmett, and I was instantly annoyed at how quickly and easily I had lost. He'd be right, soon enough he'd see he was right. But not right now. Right now my pride had already dropped a considerable amount that should be unlawful. I had already realized that maybe I wasn't as soulless as I thought I was. That would be enough for the day.

"Hey…" the beautiful girl objected as I ignored her. I casually glanced at her, biting my lip, and yet desperately trying to convey that she meant nothing to me. Please, I thought, just wait for your friend to tell you about what happened later.. Let it go…

But sure enough, she didn't. she had a charismatic fire to her, underneath her self conscious exterior. Stubborn beautiful woman.

"Excuse me… I waited here just like everybody else!" I shouted. "I don't even have a stupid paper or shirt for you to sign and you can't even say hello to me? It isn't fair." her voice was almost as alluring as her face, but I had to control the twinge of guilt I felt at her words, and repressed the urge to turn to her and say 'I'm sorry,' and give her a hug or something. _That _would surely get Emmett riled up and pointing and shouting for everyone to look at the ever expressionless, soulless Edward Cullen actually being warm and friendly to someone.

Thinking of Emmett again only brought back irritating memories of him and Rosalie and Tanya from a couple minutes ago and I scowled down at what I was signing for a boy of about 16. The girl seemed to take the scowl the wrong way though as I continued to ignore her..

"Wow. You're a real jerk, you know that? I've been listening to your music for years. You're my favorite band and I've got to say you turning out to be a complete asshole was really shitty... Thanks" she had a snotty, intentionally rude undertone to her voice. I thought it was kind of cute… and imagined what it would be like if we ever argued as a couple… but I was so embarrassed at that thought, so annoyed and embarrassed by myself that I accidentally took it out on her for being so tempting..

"Are you _done_?"

She gasped, her expression shocked. I tried to think nothing of it. Just wait, woman! If we really are your favorite band, maybe the fact that I actually gave out my number- _to you_- will make up for it. I knew I had to leave though, before I did anymore damage..

Emmett however, was oblivious, or was he?

"Hold on, dude, just one more.."

I turned and left him, the last thing I heard was a soft, ever resentful, hurt, "_Fuck you_."

I whipped around, shocked, and I had to admit… _sorry_. I felt terrible. But I quickly wiped the apologetic look off my face as I saw Emmett turn to me for my reaction.

Before I left, I whispered to the security guard with us to have her waiting backstage. I said I wanted to report a complaint of an inappropriate outburst. She'd need to be held by security and explain her part of the story to determine whether or not she'd have to be escorted off the premises. Of course I probably could've just told him I wanted to talk to her personally after our set, but I didn't want the girl- Bella- to be put off and weirded out by it- thinking it was some sort of band groupie thing or I really was just some psycho wanting to chew her out for what she said.

I walked away feeling uneasy. I didn't know what to do once I came face to face with her, but I knew I at least had to talk to her- explain that it wasn't her fault. Hopefully then she'd listen to me.

**Hope you guys liked, review if you want the next chapter sooner :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all the reviews and alerts on this story! Oh, and there are some pictures of the band's instruments on my profile page in case you haven't checked them out… I forgot to mention it, I sort of put them up there just cause I was bored even though I never really went into much detail about the band's instruments before…**

**Anyway, enjoy…**

**EPOV- the scene where he and Bella converse :)**

Emmett and I got to the stage back in time for our next set- just barely. I dashed on stage with a feeling sort of like lead in the pit of my stomach- and yet it was light and airy- a mixture of nerves and…. Butterflies? Good Lord. It couldn't be all from Bella could it? Of course it could…

So this is what it felt like…

I grabbed my favorite guitar and bent down to fix one of the guitar pedals. I could hear Rosalie shuffling behind me impatiently. Eventually she grabbed her bright red bass, which matched the color of her lips- the color she always wore when we had a show.

I tried to forget about Bella backstage. I couldn't let her make me nervous. I willed myself to forget about her.. Or at least I tried to. I wouldn't let the audience miss out on a good show just because the dumb lead singer couldn't pull it together because of some sort of stupid crush on a girl.

While I couldn't entirely do that, I couldn't entirely think it was stupid either. To have a crush at all (if you could call it that) proved something was changing in me… now the only thing I thought about was her- backstage. I wondered if anyone was polite enough to ask her if she wanted a drink, was comfortable, needed shade, anything… I wondered if she would be watching right now. I wanted to know if she'd be impressed, or thrilled to see her favorite band, if that's what we truly were anyway. Right now, I was hoping I could bet on her friend Alice to be right- to be full heartedly right about this one.

I hoped she'd deliver my autograph too, even after I had made quite the show back at the bus. Maybe when I talked to Bella after this I could explain everything and she'd go back to Alice telling her how well it went and then Alice could just top it all off by casually adding, 'oh yeah, he wants you to have his number.'

My heart seemed to jump to my throat with the prospect that Bella might call me- just maybe she would… I'd have to make a good impression. I needed something to take her mind away from what happened before. She had to know it wasn't her, well it was, but she wasn't the cause of my anger or my cruelty.. It was just a terrible misunderstanding. Honestly it was.

Our set started and the crowd was twice the size of the previous set we played. Many stayed behind from the first one only to be joined by a new coming crowd.

Halfway through the set, after exchanging a joke with Rosalie for the entire audience to hear, I stepped up to my microphone and said the first thing that came to mind…

"I just… want to say… thanks to all the fans who got us here… especially the ones like Bella…" I laughed as I trailed off, remembering her determined and angry expression, how cute she looked then when she was furious… "who aren't afraid to speak their minds… sometimes we need that… to be put into place…"

I briefly saw Rosalie shoot a look to Emmett out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't turn around to gauge his reaction, but from what I could tell, it was something… Rosalie turned back to me with a mischievous and slightly knowing grin on her face. I merely smiled, I couldn't help it, couldn't wipe the grin off my face, but I refused to look her directly in the eye. Instead, I started strumming our next song without warning, catching both Emmett and Rosalie off guard- they quickly had to catch up and leave whatever teasing looks they were going to exchange for later…

When the set ended, I couldn't find a towel or anything to dry off, I only hoped I wasn't disgusting dirty or sweaty, as not to repulse Bella even more- I figured how rudely I'd behaved would've been reason enough without any other contributing factors.

I took a deep breath as I approached her, my eyes set only on Bella as my target, everything else was completely blurred out of my vision.

She was standing shooting dirty looks everywhere, her eyes slightly squinted and glaring with a pout. Suddenly I felt the strongest urge to tip her chin upward and sweep her lips up in my own- but that would surely earn me a well deserved slap across the face. Even still- I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I had greeted her that way instead:

"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen." I offered her my hand but she didn't take it, probably still reeling over what happened before, even though I had hoped shouting out to her while I was onstage would've helped erased a bit of that. I guess not…

"I understand." I said as I lowered my hand back down to my side.

"So did you enjoy the show?" I decided to ask, not wanting to waste any time, not liking the silent treatment she was giving me. I knew I deserved it though, but I would still rather hear her sweet voice… whether it be an angry tone or not. Preferably not.

"The show??" she squinted, almost incredulously towards me. I cringed internally. Her tone was acidic and intentionally bitter.

"You mean, you didn't see the set?"

"Were you expecting me to? Honestly?" she sort of scoffed I think. I bit my lip, biting back the compliments that were just building up on the tip of my tongue. You're so beautiful, I wanted to tell her. You're so stunning, I wanted to say. You're so tempting, you're so intriguing, I'm so attracted to you- tell me what it is that makes me this way… but instead I went with:

"I see… I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I had just brought you back here hoping you'd get a good view- but I guess not. You didn't hear me shout out to you then, did you?"

"Shout out??…" she asked, perplexed.

"Ah, of course not. I have offended you far more than I expected- which is perfectly fine. I can't blame you. And I fully, humbly apologize for that. Honestly, it was the deepest of misunderstandings… I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you, it's no excuse, I only ask you at least hear me out…"

"Hear you… out?" she seemed truly lost now. I sighed. I couldn't blame her, I was doing a complete 360 of how she had met me before. But this is how it should've been.

"I… I don't want you to think I do this all the time," she seemed to be listening intently so far, "I don't really socialize or make much contact with fans- with anyone at shows or whoever happens to come out… other than what's necessary and appropriate of course… I just want you to understand that before I go any further. This isn't normal for me. In fact, it's completely out of character. I'm a rather solitary person." I was surprised at how much the last bit had depressed me- when it never really had before, but then again I never really let myself dwell on it for it to cause some sort of restlessness in myself.

"I had just come back from doing a set when my band mate, Emmett, and I decided to go back to the bus. Unfortunately, after that set, just before we left for the bus I… had a rather _difficult _time with my band members and a rather… _persistent_… sound technician. It was a terrible confrontation and rather irritating on my part- so of course what happened before didn't help me when I came along and spotted the line waiting for us by the bus. I tried to control my temper, but what had happened before was much too pressing… and then there _you _were…"

"Me? And what did I do, Edward? _Tell me_." the anger flared up in her, it was as if she knew everything she did to me and I got that unexplainable, unstoppable image in my head that seemingly popped out of nowhere of us arguing as a couple..

"You stood there."

She froze, just blinking furiously. I could tell my words had stung, in a negative way- not at all in the way they were meant to be.

"Really, Bella, I can't-" I said reflexively.

"How do you know my name?" I was the one who froze that time. Might as well tell the truth.

"Your friend. The black haired one. Alice."

"Alice?!" the name seemed to definitely mean something to her…

"She told me you were much too shy to ask me for an autograph yourself when I asked who I should write it out too. She said 'Bella,' and I asked if you were Bella… the girl towards the end of the line. She confirmed who you were, and so I proceeded to write out the autograph…"

"Why did you do that? Only to go on and be rude to me- to be _terrible_??"

I sighed and felt a deep wave of repentance, feeling so very sorry, "Because I wanted to leave you with something. I knew there was no way I would be able to talk to you. I prayed you would just let me walk by and your friend would just… let you have your autograph later… and hopefully what I wrote would be enough to satisfy you for your favorite band." I smiled gently, "but of course you wouldn't let it go. Stubborn. And so I tried to ignore you- as impossible as it was… I just couldn't talk to you, couldn't look at you because I knew it would be so obvious, _especially _to Emmett…" I looked at her now, just hoping she would understand, somehow she'd be able to piece it together, but instead she shook her head.

"What about Emmett?" she finally found her voice and was able to keep it at a somewhat calm level, not as angry or resentful. A good sign, I thought.

"He'd know I liked you."

And there it was. I admitted it. It wasn't so hard was it? Depends. How would she take it now? I wasn't sure how I would deal with it, my ego, my pride, my view of self if she were to reject me right now. The one woman I actually cared if I had her approval- and she had the power right now to turn me down without a second thought or care or whim in the world. I could only wait for her reply and hope it would be good to me.

I had to explain, just a little more, "Of course it's no excuse I just… when you did press me for answers, then , at the bus, you were so angry, I couldn't help but be reminded and my anger from earlier flared up- and a small part of me _wanted _to be rude to you- just to throw Emmett off- but I think even then he knew. Because just like he's never seen me fond of anyone in particular, he's never seen me so cruel."

"I…." she stammered, otherwise speechless.

I then, regretfully, realized the time. I'd have to go… I felt a twinge of guilt, not being able to fully repent for what happened before, and a bit of disappointment that I would have to leave her without making any substantial progress- no step forward in getting to know her better- not yet anyhow- maybe it would come later when she realized I gave her my phone number.

"I'm sorry, Bella. If I could explain more… I would. Right now I can't exactly. I have to go… but please, _please_, believe me. I'm being nothing but honest. What you saw back there really wasn't me. I understand how put off you were, how shocked, but really who could ever be that way to you? For no reason, at that… who could tolerate themselves to be unpleasant to someone so beautiful?" I just had to say it, unleashing only little bit of what I thought, of what I could instinctly tell about her just from her presence. I just knew she'd be like no other girl I'd ever met before. Already she was proving herself far better and superior than all the rest.

I waited for her to take that in, but she seemed to still be contemplating it.

"Bella.. I have to go."

"Oh!…" she realized suddenly.

"I'm filling in on another set for one of our friends on tour." I explained, smiling, trying to show I really was trying…

"I see.."

"See you friend Alice" (please see your friend Alice, I pleaded desperately in my head) "we'll be here in the state two more nights. That little piece of information, whatever you choose to do with it, will make sense once you see her." I grinned. She smiled radiantly back at me, and I felt myself inhale deeply, my heart swelling at the sight of it.

"Again, I'm so very sorry for what happened. Can you at least consider to forgive me?"

She bit her lip, making me wait just another fraction of a second and I was dying with suspense, the blood in my veins quickening with my nervous pulse.

"I guess." she rolled her eyes playfully and I exhaled, the tension relieved, yet replaced by something else- hope.

"I have to go, be safe- be careful out there" please, please for me.. And then I reached out my hand to brush her arm before I departed, after all, I was a selfish creature, and I wouldn't be able to think straight for the rest of the day, rest of the week if I hadn't succumbed in some way to the magnetic force attracting me to her…

As I turned to walk away, I thought maybe I might've felt a spark…

* * *

**Review, your feedback is much appreciated! Thank you very much.**


	8. Chapter 8

**BPOV**

I watched as Edward Cullen walked away. I let my eyes take in the sight of him, his perfect, graceful stride as I let our entire conversation replay through my head. I was almost day dreaming about it again, when Edward turned a corner and gave me a crooked smile that sobered me in back to reality. My heart jumped and I beamed back at him. Then he was gone…

I sighed as I took my first steps forward, realizing I was free to go all along, security was never really an issue or even apart of the matter. It was a relief to find out, it was a relief to talk to Edward… no, more than a relief. It was the most mind boggling, strangest, greatest, insanely magnificent thing that's probably ever happened to me…

Who thinks- 'yeah, I'm going to meet my favorite band, and I'm going to get them to like me.' You don't, or maybe you do, but you know it's just a fantasy, just a dream, not real, not reality… It doesn't really happen. That's why I was completely stunned something so out of the ordinary, out of this world could actually happen to me… to someone as plain and boring as I was. How could it?

As I walked around, leaving the area backstage and back into the crowds of the general public, I wondered if it all really was real. There had to be some sort of catch, right? I didn't get it. It was like I was going through shock and denial. There was no way someone like Edward Cullen who could have his choice of basically any female _anywhere_- was going to pick me. And yet it felt like he had.

I realized I had been walking in a daze, not really seeing anything around me when I was supposed to be trying to find Alice and Jasper- my mind had been too preoccupied with thoughts of Edward and what had just happened. I wandered aimlessly, not being able to really focus even when I told myself too- Edward just kept creeping back into my mind. I saw his face and his smile everywhere and I wondered where he was now- if I could go see where he was playing, which stage it was… I wanted to see him again, to see if he'd smile or say hi. I needed reassurance that this was real. I wasn't just playing tricks on myself, my mind wasn't exaggerating, and neither was my memory.

My memory was serving me correctly, right? When I thought I recalled Edward calling me beautiful? It happened didn't I? (even though I can't say I completely agree with him…)

And then my dazed temperament was knocked out with a surge of panic- how would I ever see him again? If not today while the concert was still going- then when? Didn't he say something like the tour would be in the state for two more nights? Would I have to look up the cities and buy tickets for another event or what? The only reason I even came to this one was because of Alice and Jasper…

But how would I ever see Edward again? The thought made me panic and worry. I took calming breaths to slow down the frantic panicking of my heart- when all of a sudden a small, tight grip was on my arm.

I jumped and yelped slightly.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. I exhaled with great relief.

"Oh God, Alice, you scared me!"

"Sorry." she muttered, Jasper coming up behind her.

"What happened?" he asked, staring at me as if he knew that I was feeling on edge. My heart rate seemed to calm once both of them were in my line of sight. What I would do without them I didn't know…

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. Alice however, seemed impatient. She kept glancing around almost nervously, biting her lip and her eyes scanning the crowd from time to time. Jasper looked down at her once and saw what was going on.

"Maybe we should get going…" he muttered, more to Alice than to me.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." she nodded. I felt that wave of panic surge up in me again, almost fearful I would never be able to see Edward again.

I wondered briefly if I was letting myself down with how desperate I wanted to see him, with how much I wanted to keep in contact… after all, he had been so rude to me, so terrible and cold, but he made up for it… at least I hoped he did, I thought he did- but the shock and disbelief of it all made me question how sincere it was. What it kept coming down to was I just couldn't imagine anything so positive happening to me. I was never the lucky one in the relationship/ love department.

"Don't worry, Bella, you can tell us everything once we get home." Jasper spoke, as if reading my worries- but that wasn't exactly it.

"But- what if…?" I trailed off. Alice seemed to know where I was going.

"Trust me, it'll be fine. We can leave, Bella… believe me when I say this won't be the last you'll hear from Edward Cullen- but right now we have to go." she seemed unapologetic, like whatever she was hiding from me would be enough to make up for how they were making me leave now- when it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to hold onto this place, this day for as long as I could. I didn't want what had just happened to me to go away, I didn't want opportunity to slip through my fingers. I didn't want Edward to disappear…

I didn't know how to object, so dejectedly, I allowed them to lead me out of the festival grounds and back to the parking lot where we had parked our car. Alice had made it clear to walk fast and Jasper pulled us both along. It was difficult to keep up with his speed but his strength compensated for it and he gently dragged us by his side. I wondered why Alice wanted us out of there….

The car ride was quiet. I looked out the window and so did Alice in the passenger seat. Everyone was left to their thoughts, so much so that I didn't even notice we had pulled up to Jasper's apartment. I had expected to be dropped off at home, or at least Alice's (which was like a second home to me).

Once we got inside everyone went for the kitchen. I sighed heavily and leaned up against the kitchen counter. Alice went straight for the fridge and grabbed three sodas, passing them out. Jasper sat down at the small kitchen table, watching me with blinking eyes. Alice stood in front of me.

"Sorry." she said, although not really sounding sorry. I kept getting the feeling I was missing some details here… but they were some I couldn't quite figure out myself, they'd have to tell me.

"Sorry." she repeated again, after a moment of thought, as if remembering something- and this time she did sound sorry.

"Alice, why?" I asked her, looking up with a questioning look.

She sighed but shook her head, "Just tell us- how did the whole security situation go?" she smiled. I blushed and looked away.

"Uh… well…" they waited for my blushing and embarrassment to subside, however it didn't so I continued anyway, "it really wasn't that bad at all… um, Edward Cullen came to talk to me and at first, I was really mad, but he turned out to be really nice… really nice to me." I finished softly. Alice's face lit up.

"Really?!" she squealed, excited all of a sudden, "oh thank goodness! I was worried when you dropped the F-bomb back there he'd totally think twice about liking you!" she laughed and so did Jasper. I was embarrassed once again, I wasn't one to cuss often… and they had to go and remind me.

"and how exactly did you know Alice? Why did you say I shouldn't have said anything??" I questioned her now.

"Because! Isn't it obvious? I knew he was interested in you and I didn't want you to get the wrong impression, even though it was understandable, I was even a little confused about how he was acting, but anyway- I thought eventually it'd get settled out… but I was afraid you'd get the wrong impression and say something extra mean to him and completely ruin your chances of-"

"OF?…" I asked, insanely curious as to what she was talking about. There's no way she could know instinctively, something had to have happened, right there under my nose I just didn't see it there before.

"Of you know, going out with him." she shrugged, as if it were plain as day.

"ALICE! You don't know that! Just because he pulled me aside and wanted to talk to me-"

"BELLA! I'm not _stupid_," she spat the word as if she were offended, "I know what I'm saying but you don't know what you're talking about- of course he likes you! Out of everyone there he pulls you aside, makes up some excuse about security to get you alone, is really nice to you and writes you probably the best autograph I've ever seen…" she trailed off, smirking at herself as she eyed the rim of her soda can before taking an indulgent sip.

"Autograph?" I had completely forgotten… Alice nodded and set her can down, Jasper threw her her purse from the kitchen table and she began rummaging through it. She finally pulled out the small, post-it notepad and tossed it over to me. I caught it with both hands as if it would break. I looked at the top post-it note, the only one written on. At first all I saw was the name- I was too busy analyzing and memorizing the swoops and swirls of the lines in ink on the paper that made up his signature. It was a small piece of him that I felt content to just stare at for a moment. Alice and Jasper waited patiently for me to realize… that there was a phone number underneath the name. I just blinked, staring at me… the clear, precise stroke of the pen to write the numbers, the deliberate neatness of it, completely legible. There was no mistaking it was a phone number, and yet I couldn't keep myself from asking-

"Alice…what is this?"

She merely smiled coyly, "Edward Cullen's phone number of course."

"How did you-"

"Bella I didn't do anything! He wrote it down! He asked me who to make the autograph out to and I told him it was for you and that's what he wrote!!" by the time she finished her sentence she was practically jumping up and down with excitement. Jasper just sat back and eventually pulled Alice down onto his lap and ran his hands down her shoulders, as if to calm her. I simply blinked my eyes unbelievingly and shook my head. My heart rate sped up and I felt excited, I felt happy, I felt lucky, I felt so unbelievably dazzled that Edward had made such a gesture…. Even then, before we had really even talked, it was so instantaneous…

I couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off my face, my heart wouldn't slow down! I took deep breaths to try to calm myself, but instead it only seemed to fuel the light headedness and intoxicating dizziness I felt when I thought about it- Edward Cullen. Me. Phone number…

"GET THIS AWAY FROM ME!" I blurted, too excited to even hold the stupid note pad, I threw it to Alice and she caught it, laughing. I kept deep breathing and before I even realized it I was pacing around the kitchen.

"Is she gonna be ok?…" I faintly heard Jasper ask with a raised eyebrow. "It looks like she's hyperventilating."

I probably was hyperventilating! My thoughts just kept racing. I felt like the lucky, unpopular girl in those cliché high school movies that somehow got the attention of the handsome, popular, jock guy everyone wants to date and now he was asking me to prom. That's exactly what it felt like… too good to be true…

"Bella?" came Alice's voice. I already knew what she was going to ask, but I was going to ask her the same thing.

"When should I call him?!" I blurted, practically pulling at my hair. Jasper chuckled.

She shrugged, "Why don't you do it tonight? That way he'll know you got the message… I wouldn't want to leave him hanging."

I bit my lip, "Yeah, maybe… I don't know. What do you think, Jasper?" I turned and asked him. Alice turned her head around and smiled affectionately at him.

"Yes, oh wise one, our insight into the masculine world, what do you think? Give us your manly point of view." she laughed. I found the situation too pressing, too absolutely nerve wracking to find humorous.

"I don't think it's a bad idea. He's the one who gave his number out. He's expecting a call, or at least hoping for one… Guys don't usually play games the way girls do. I think if you wait too long, if it is only for the sake of not seeming desperate, he might get the wrong idea anyway."

"Hmm…" I pondered, pursing my lips. I watched Alice as she playfully tossed the note pad up and down, as if making it dance for me, enticing me to reach for it… take the number.. Dial it. Call him.

I sighed and took a step towards them. She gleefully obliged when I outstretched my hand, palm up and she ever so carefully placed the paper pad into my grasp. I let out a nervous breath.

"Um, Jasper, do you mind if I use the bedroom phone?" I asked, embarrassed already.

He grinned at me, "Nope. Go get him, tiger."

"Shut up! You guys are embarrassing me!" I exclaimed and cringed as I dashed off into the hallway and into Jasper's room.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and went for the phone on the night stand. I tried to ignore the packaged condom that was ever so casually tossed next to the lamp. I pulled the phone off the table and turned away from it altogether.

It wasn't a cordless phone, so I could only walk around as much as the cord length permitted me so.

I had to dial three times before I got the number right! My fingers were shaking and overall I was just unsteady. My breathing was audible as the adrenaline rushed through my veins… my heart was going at dangerous speeds as I realized what I was doing, who I was calling, who I would hopefully speak to…

I wondered if he'd pick up. I thought maybe the set he was filling in on would be over by now, but I wasn't sure what else he could be doing. Maybe if I could just leave him a message on the answering machine… maybe that would be best. Or since this was surely a cell phone number, I could text him saying hi… but no. I didn't want to chicken out. I was 22 years old. I was an adult. A grown woman- not girl- woman. I should be able to do this. I was never going to get anywhere in life, or with anyone in life if I couldn't face my fears. After all, how was I ever going to make happen what I wanted to happen if I never took action?

And so this was me, taking action. Dialing Edward Cullen's phone number. I finally punched in the numbers right and I swear I could hear my heart beat in my chest as I counted the rings. One… two… three…

"Hello?" came a voice greeting with a somewhat questioning tone. Almost hopeful, not knowing who I could be on the other line and clearly curious since I'm sure they didn't recognize the number calling on the caller ID.

"Uh, hello?" I didn't know what to say next, clearly he didn't know who I was or maybe I sounded different on the phone?

"Hello."

"Uh… hi. Edward, this is Bella… I don't know if you… remember, but-" I spoke with my eyes shut tight, as if waiting for some sort of impact, some blow or humiliating form of rejection or insignificance.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, sounding relieved, much to _my _relief… "I was wondering when you'd call. I didn't think it would be so soon…" I thought I could detect a smile in his voice, and I imagined it, but only briefly, since a wave of embarrassment washed over me- 'I didn't think it would be so soon.' -so I _had _called too soon… it would be obvious to him now he was forgiven and how much I really liked him… I felt stupid. Silly. But then I forced it away- I was a grown woman, I could do this. And after all, weren't Edward and I in the same boat? He was taking a chance too. I scoffed internally at that thought. It didn't matter what I tried to convince myself, all the motivational talks, at the end of it I was just fooling myself. He was perfect and I was plain.

"I'm so glad you called. I'm relieved I didn't have to wait long, I was afraid the anticipation would kill me," he laughed, and I was too caught up in my thoughts I almost didn't notice.

"Oh! So it's ok I called?"

"Of course!" he sounded a little put back, yet amused, "I gave you my number didn't I? I was afraid you wouldn't get it though… that your friend, uh, Alice would see how terrible we were to each other and she'd decide against passing along my message."

"Oh." I let out a laugh this time, "Well I'm glad she did." _did I just say that?… _I could feel myself blushing and was glad he couldn't see me.

"Well thanks… I'm glad she did too..." and I thought I detected a shyness in his voice as well, like he was flattered or I had made him bashful. I wanted to see him so I could be able to tell. He recovered from it quickly though, clearing his throat.

"Well Bella, since I have you on the phone- is this the number I can reach you at, by the way?" he asked suddenly, referring to the number he had seen on his caller ID.

"Oh- no, sorry, it's a friend's."

"Oh…" he paused, as if thinking about that. I stood waiting anxiously for his next words, biting my lip and chanting over and over in my mind '_ask for my number! Ask for my number! Ask for my number!'_

But he didn't. Instead he pressed on.

"I was wondering, if you're not too busy or you don't have plans for tonight, if maybe you'd like to accompany me this evening…?"

"Oh?"

"To a party, some of the guys on tour are throwing it… if it's not your thing, I understand, it's not really mine either… you don't have to. Or we don't have to…. We could just hang out by ourselves if you're afraid they might be too rowdy for you." he chuckled.

"No that sounds…." amazing, exciting, wonderful? "fun…"

"Are you sure? I can understand. Emmett can be a real beast when he drinks… and I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression about us." he kept his tone light and conversational, humorous, but there was still an undertone of worry and apprehension to his voice- like he really did care what I thought.

I laughed this time, "No, really, Edward, it sounds great. And I think we've had enough wrong impressions to last us a while." we both laughed at that and I felt a warm smile on my face, almost permanently with every time he laughed or spoke lightly. He was contagious.

"Alright. Would it be okay if I picked you up at around 8?"

"Picked me up?"

"Yes, granted none of us have our own cars right now since we're on tour in buses, but I can take a cab down there to get you.."

"Oh, no, that's okay, I can get there-"

"Bella." his firm tone stopped my nervous banter. "It's a date... Please, just let me do my part. I'd feel terrible if you had to find your own way here when I'm the one who invited you."

I let out a loud sigh, he chuckled under his breath, he should realize by now I was stubborn- back in our conversation at the concert hadn't he said so? It was hard to remember every detail now. Seeing Edward tonight I would make sure to memorize and take in everything- his presence was too dazzling to be missed, to be wasted for a single second.

I finally sighed with a breath of defeat and he knew he'd won, but he wouldn't get off that easy…

"So it's a date, huh?" I teased, not knowing where I got the courage.

He paused, as if I had embarrassed him, but he decided to remain firm and assertive. "Yes. I mean, I would like it to be… if that's okay with you."

"Of course, Edward." and then I could swear I could feel him smile, even through the phone.

"Great." and there was that smile to his tone again when he spoke. It made me smile too.

"I'll see you tonight then… should I call you at this number for your address when I leave to pick you up?"

"Yeah that sounds-" I was tempted to just say 'good' or 'great' or 'fine' but it wasn't. it was more than that, so why didn't I just say so?- "fantastic."

"Fantastic." he repeated, amusedly, as if musing over my word choice.

"I'll see you then.." I said, a little wary to hang up with him, but I was sure he probably had other things to do or other bands he wanted to see play before the festival packed up before it was over.

"Bella, I'm looking forward to it." he added, just as I was about to say bye, it was as if he just wanted me to know, before our conversation was really over… but it wasn't, not just yet… but close..

"So am I Edward. Thank you for asking me."

"Thank you for saying yes."

There was nothing I'd deny him though I'm sure… anything reasonable that is.

There was a pause, as if we were both waiting for the other to say something, something that secured the way we felt. I was pretty sure it was obvious though- at least on my part- he had to know I was crushing on him. There was virtually no way I couldn't be unless he had a hobby for murdering puppies or baby seal hunting- which I highly doubt he did, so it was all good.

I heard a soft knock on Jasper's bedroom door, I turned and I knew I had to go.

"Edward I have to go."

"Oh, alright…take care, beautiful."

"You too." I said shyly.

"Goodbye, Bella."

"Bye, Edward." and then we hung up…

A new challenge faced me. Alice- and I knew there would be only one thing on her mind once I told her of my date…..

What was I going to wear?

Hope you guys liked it! Please review and let me know what you think. The more reviews the quicker the next chapter will come since I already have it planned out n stuff. Thank you guys so much :)


	9. Chapter 9

**EPOV**

As soon as I had hung up with Bella on the phone, I let out a small breath of relief and I just stared down at my cell phone, saving the number she had called from into my contacts- even though it wasn't her personal phone number. I heard the door to our tour bus open and I looked up to see Emmett, smiling at me.

"Hey." he said simply.

"Hello." I answered, running a hand through my hair out of nervous habit, wondering if some teasing would come my way… it wasn't too soon was it? I wasn't even sure if he knew what had happened.

"So Bella huh? That's her name?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, almost as in a wince, bracing myself for some smart mouth comment he'd make, but instead I only saw Bella's face in my thoughts. The memory of her was nothing in comparison to her actual face. I'd have to refresh my memory soon and instill every beautiful feature into my mind's makeup. I didn't want to forget. And I didn't want to forget our conversations…

"Yeah. Bella. That's her name." I replied to Emmett's question.

"You know Rose is asking about her… she's a little mad I didn't tell her something was up when we came back from the bus… but I think she'll get over it. Now, I think she's just a little skeptical…"

"Skeptical?" I was confused. Why would Rosalie need to worry about me and who I chose to talk to?

"She's just wary that's all… she said she thinks you should be careful… that this girl, Bella, isn't just interested cause we're her favorite band." Emmett stated, as plainly as anything with a shrug of his muscular shoulder.

I scoffed, "Oh I highly doubt that… did you see the way I treated her? The way she responded? At that point she was so mad, understandably so, I don't think it would've mattered who I was… she didn't care. And now that we're on good terms I still don't think she cares who I am- well, I mean, what band I'm in…. I think we actually… might have… a connection, here, Emmett." I couldn't believe I was saying the words, and so freely and casually, and yet it excited me to think I was feeling this about someone. I wasn't embarrassed, not really. With Bella I didn't feel there was a need to be. If anything, I felt… proud… she liked me. I felt… glad, honored, lucky, fortunate, blessed, she agreed to even talk to me, to give me another chance. So why should I be embarrassed about it? Granted it is new territory for me, and a touchy, personal area, but with Bella I just couldn't bring myself to be so childish about it. I was grateful. I could only hope the feeling was mutual.

"Wow." was all he said, before he got this stupid grin that told me he wasn't going to let me live this down, "I told you… I told you it was only a matter of time, but shit that was fast! That was amazing. I so own you! What did I say? And then BAM she was there! WAITING for you! Isn't that what I said too? She'd be standing there.. Just waiting… and whoa! What the fuck? She was!"

"Shut up, Emmett." I glared at him, my eyes in a deathly squint, and I bit my cheek to hide my slight amusement, he however, was clearly amused.

"So what now?" he asked.

"Well I gave her my number, and she called… and I invited her to the party tonight."

"The party that's gonna be in back lot?" he clarified, I nodded, "the one we tried to get you to go to with Tanya?" I nodded again, trying to forget about that particular memory… Emmett tilted his head back and laughed loudly.

"Oh, man, it's gonna be fun tonight."

"Don't embarrass me." I retorted.

"Oh I won't need to do that. You'll see, Edward. In matters of the heart it's easy to do that on your own."

He left then, swinging the bus door behind him. As it shut, I couldn't help but be left sitting there, thinking maybe he'd be right. It was all new to me. Seeing other people interact, hearing about and witnessing other peoples relationships and giving friends advice was one thing… when the time came to make your own move, I wasn't sure how to go about it. I wasn't sure how to get Bella to like me. I wasn't sure how to make me _mean _something to her…

**BPOV**

I opened the door of Jasper's room to find Alice patiently waiting, arms behind her back. Jasper made a show of straightening up, pulling himself and his ear away from the door as I opened it. He laughed under his breath, realizing I had caught him listening in to my conversation.

I gasped in pretend shock, "Jasper Whitlock! That's something I expected of Alice! Not you…"

He laughed, "What can I say? The one you're with rubs off on you." he shrugged. Alice nodded in agreement.

"Bella what'd he say??" she finally asked. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"He invited me out tonight."

And a series of "OMG's and WTF's !?" ensued in excited voices- well, mostly from Alice, not really Jasper, but the smile on his face told me he was happy for me. And just like that it was no longer Edward Cullen- lead singer/guitarist/ pianist of my favorite band giving me his number and asking me on a date- it was just Edward Cullen. A boy. A boy that I liked and just might be something good for me. I didn't care what he did for a living, the fact that he could make me feel like I was in high school again, excited and thrilled to be alive and the luckiest girl in the state right now was enough. For the first time in a loooooooooong time…. I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach, I'm ashamed to say. He was making me feel unfamiliar things.

Alice grabbed me by my wrists and started jumping up and down. "Ah! I'm so excited for you!" when are you going??"

"Tonight at 8 he's picking me up."

"Oh, shit!"

I laughed, "I know I'm excite-"

"No! we only have a few hours to get you ready!"

"Oh… Alice, please don't go overboard. I-"

"Nonsense. You know I won't. Trust me, Bella," she commanded, taking me by the hand and leading me into the bathroom. I turned around to Jasper for help, but he merely waved goodbye as if I were being dragged away to some far off away land, never to be seen again and there was nothing he could do about it.

Once in the bathroom, Alice instructed me to sit down on the toilet seat and she pulled out a curling iron from the cupboard under the sink. I figured she kept certain things here at Jasper's place since she was here so often.

"See? Not going overboard. We're just going to touch up your hair a bit, you've been outside all day. You don't have time to shower again and start from scratch, otherwise I would've suggested that… but I might have something here you can change into if you want to freshen up a little more…"

I laughed this time, "Alice nothing you have for your pixie little frame is going to fit my 5'4 body." I grinned. She stuck her tongue out.

"I said maybe… there maybe a top or something you could squeeze into."

"Thanks."

"You know I don't mean it that way. It's not you, it's me- I'm genetically miniature, remember?" she chuckled and I did too. She started doing my hair and I sat there patiently for once! I was completely trusting her, for now I was just content to sit there and day dream about Edward… where things could go.. If we'd hit it off even more. I let my mind completely wander to the most ridiculous things… it was fun. And for once I didn't chide myself about it. I didn't care if I was getting overexcited or too worked up about it or having high hopes- it didn't matter. Tonight, no matter how perfect he looked and superior in comparison to me, I wouldn't let it bother me. Because some how, some way, he had managed to reach out to me today- give me his phone number in hopes I'd call. That surely had to mean something, even my modest, insecure self could admit to that. I wasn't totally crazy.

Alice finished up my hair and let me have a look at it in the bathroom mirror. It was wavy and full looking and yet natural enough to where I wasn't going to feel stupid. For some reason I thought if it was obvious I had my hair done for tonight, Edward might notice and I might come off as too desperate to make a good impression. I sort of just wanted to seem effortless- even though that was far from the truth and what was possible. However, what Alice managed to pull off made me at least comfortable and presentable without being over the top like I had feared. She put a little eye liner on me and that was it.

She quickly dragged me over to Jasper's room and went to the bottom drawer in his dresser, I drawer I now realized was for her things only. She stepped back and took a good look at me, trying to decide what to mix and match with what I had, and yet make me look different for tonight since Edward had already seen me once today.

About a half hour later, we realized nothing really was going to fit me- nothing she had at Jasper's place anyway. We had tried a jean skirt that was much too tight and short on me, and a top that wouldn't even go past my bust line when I tried to put it on.

"Why don't you just take off your sweater and just go in the camisole and jeans you're wearing right now?" came Jasper's voice as he poked his head in. Alice and I both froze. She seemed to be thinking about it…

"Jazz, that's genius!" she said with a fist in the air and proceeded to remove the light knit sweater from me.

"Uh… are you sure it doesn't..?" I was about to question it, but Alice simply shook her head,

"It's fine. It's date material and pretty enough to wear by itself without looking like you're wearing lingerie in public. It looks really cute, Bella." she nodded, and I sighed. In the end I couldn't care what I would be wearing. I was more worried about how it would be between Edward and I- I didn't want it to be awkward.

All I could do now was wait…

At 7:30 the phone rang.

My heart stopped and I think I might've gasped in panic. Alice gripped my arm as we sat on the couch to relax. I couldn't bring myself to get up and answer the phone in the kitchen… but then I was too late. The phone stopped ringing only after two rings…

And it was quiet. Alice and I listened intently and we could hear Jasper's voice coming from his bedroom… he was speaking on the phone it seemed…

Alice slapped her hand to her forehead. "one of us should've picked it up! A guy calling for his date doesn't want to be answered by another man!"

My eyes widened when I realized she was right…

However, a moment later Jasper came into the room, an accomplished smile on his face.

"Why did you do that?" Alice asked him.

"What? It's no big deal… and besides… I wanted to see how he would react to a guy answering the phone."

"Um… you know that's completely insane, right? You could've ruined everything!" Alice shot back, slightly hysterical.

"Thanks, love." Jasper laughed, "and no it wasn't. I wanted to see if he'd flip out or get all caveman and territorial about it…you know, see if he was the jealous type. We don't need Bella involved with some psycho." he said simply. I felt a surge of admiration for Jasper then. Sometimes he was just as good as looking after me as Alice was.

"Well? What'd he say?" I wanted to know anxiously.

"I gave him the address. He said he's already leaving to come pick you up. He knows this is my place, I told him you were staying here for the night with me and my girlfriend…. He seemed relieved as I added that in," Jasper grinned and I couldn't contain my happiness.

"Aw, Bella, that's awesome! You've already got him worked up over you!"

I smiled and let out a nervous laugh, "Well we'll just have to see about that… we can't be too sure…" I said sheepishly. They were too good of friends to tell me I was right. Jasper and Alice were notorious for keeping up my good spirits and self esteem.

Ten minutes after eight there was a knock on Jasper's door. Jasper went to go open it. For some reason he felt more like my father than a best friend. I vaguely heard him and Edward exchange greetings. I think they may have even shook hands. All the while I couldn't believe he was here… Edward Cullen. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever even have imagined something so exciting could happen to me. It made me forget about my everyday, normal, boring existence. The idea of Edward made me think I just might be exciting and fun too, just like Alice.

I didn't get the chance to think long, because before I knew it Alice had lead me out of the hallway and into the living room where Edward and Jasper were standing by the doorway. Edward had his hands in his pockets, looking around and looking… slightly nervous I must say. Good. That meant I wasn't the only one. He would never be able to imagine the kind of effect he had on me- and only hours into how long I've known him. It was a scary thought- but I wasn't really afraid to pursue it. I wasn't afraid of how I knew he would take over me, intoxicate me with his very presence. The fact was I wanted it. I wanted to be addicted to Edward. I could only hope we'd continue to know each other so that maybe, just maybe one day he'd feel the same way too…

"Hi." Edward looked me in the eye, his green eyes sparkling alight with something that seemed like excitement or happiness. Happy to see me?

"Hi." I answered shyly. With the way he looked over me just then I felt naked- even though only my arms were bare and a modest portion of my chest since the camisole was a shallow v-cut. Nothing too plunging. I felt a blush creep up to my face though, pinkening the apple of my cheeks.

Edward looked dashing. He wore a clean, crisp blue button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up again with dark jeans that made him look taller and just overall more handsome than anyone had the right to.

"Ready to go?" he asked, smiling at me so genuine I couldn't help but return it. It was such a breath taking smile though all I could do was nod enthusiastically yes. He did something then that I didn't expect-

He offered me his arm. I stared at it a moment, blinking, taken back…. But then I linked my arm with his as he lead us towards the door. We didn't leave though until Edward turned back to Jasper and Alice. "Don't worry, I'll have her home early" he joked, laughing at himself. Jasper grinned.

"Please don't." Alice teased and shut the door as she waved us off, sending us on our way with me feeling extremely embarrassed. They made it seem like this was a rare, out of this world occurrence for me (which it was, but do we have to make it so obvious?)

Edward and I walked most of the way down to the cab in silence. It wasn't awkward silence though. I was glad to roam in my thoughts for this small moment and contemplate on what was going to happen tonight- on who I was with… the breath taking, dazzling, perfect creature I was with, that is. When we reached the cab, Edward opened the door for me and then slid in the back seat next to me. In all the cabs I'd ever been in, this one was the nicest. I don't know how he did it or if he called a different service, but it didn't smell like cabs usually do, and it wasn't an obnoxious color and didn't have ads plastered all over it.

I heard Edward sigh in contentment as he sat next to me, instructing the driver to return to the arena where the concert was held at today…. I'm guessing the touring bands and people working on the tour held parties after every other show once the crowd cleared away and before they packed up and moved on to another city…

Moved on to another city….

Where was Edward from? Would he be leaving? What would happen? Would he meet other girls? My mind kept coming up with terrible situations and questions and I had to remind myself to push them aside. All that mattered was tonight (while it lasted…but hadn't he said they'd be in the state for 2 more nights? Maybe I could drive to the next city to see him or…?)

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a cold hand brush my own on the seat. I looked down at mine against the upholstery of the cushion underneath us and saw his hand hovering over mine, ever so lightly, yet it was enough… it was plenty enough… the small touch sent shockwaves through me.

"Hello? Anyone home?" he teased lightly, smiling at me with a kindness and caring I had never seen on anyone's face before… especially someone you hardly even knew…

"Oh.. Sorry," I blushed. I had to stop thinking so much, just enjoy the moment… just enjoy the present…

"It's okay. Don't apologize." he said simply. I smiled back at him and wanted to get to the tour grounds as soon as possible. It was hard to talk with the cab driver just a seat away…

I got my wish soon enough. Edward held the door open for me and then dashed around to pay for the cab fine. I had pulled out some cash from my pocket but Edward simply looked at me like I had offended him. The almost angry look he had in his eyes made me laugh and I put my money away. He smiled and nodded in approval once it was out of sight and the cab drove away. Edward walked up next to me and we were in a wide, asphalt parking lot- probably the same one we had met in, except everything looked so different now that it was night time and the crowds and festival set up was gone.

Edward strode next to me, leading us to where a bunch of giant, tour buses were parked. I had to walk extra fast to keep up with him. He looked off into the night for a moment as we walked, and then he turned to me, his bronze hair sticking out in the night from under the parking lot lights. He looked magnificent. He really did…

"I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier…" he started, I gave him my full attention, my heart fluttering with anticipation as to what wonderful words he could say. "I didn't want to embarrass you," he smiled, and I felt myself already start to blush, "I notice you blush easily, I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable in front of your friends if I told you you were beautiful." and just then he decided to brush my cheek with the back of his hand, as if to prove his point. I found myself swooning at the sight of him just then, the sincere small soft smile on his face as his hand touched mine.

"Edward… I…" I stammered, completely at a loss for words. It was too soon in the date for him to already dazzle me incoherent.

"What?"

"I don't know what to think of you when you say things like that…" I muttered.

"Why?" he frowned, my reaction puzzling him. For a second I thought he might be afraid it was something negative.

"I have a hard time reacting to things I don't… _believe_…" I winced. After I said it I was mentally kicking myself. It wasn't a good idea or very polite to beat yourself up and showcase your insecurities in front of someone you were hoping to hit it off with- especially when you're on a date… but he was so much better than me, so out of my reach that it almost didn't matter what I said or did. Nothing would compensate for it.

"_Bella_…" he frowned and shook his head disapprovingly. We walked in more silence until he found the need to speak again, "remember when I asked you to believe me when I said I was telling the truth? Being honest? The same goes for now when I say what I think about you. And I think you're beau-"

"EDWARD!" came a booming, loud voice that scared me so bad from out of the darkness that I jumped, which caused Edward to pull me towards him, glaring in the direction of the voice. From the shadows emerged Emmett, stepping into the parking lot light and he joined us with the beautiful blonde girl in tow as the tour buses neared in sight. Emmett clapped Edward on the shoulder so forcefully that it caused him to loose his grip on my shoulder… I frowned at the loss of his touch. Just then the blonde girl caught eyes with me. I smiled at her and I thought I saw the corner of her mouth twitch in a responding smile- but it was so small it might've just been a scowl… I got the immediate instinct she wasn't too keen on me…

"Bella, this is Emmett, as you know, and this is his better half- Rosalie." Edward introduced us dryly. He seemed irritated at the interruption as well, I was glad to notice.

"Hello. Nice to meet you guys." I didn't bother to ask 'oh, what happened to James? The old bass player?' that would be idiotic, at least now anyway. Rosalie gave me a look over, and when her gaze came back up to mine, she spoke.

"I like your shirt. It's pretty." she said as simple as that, almost monotone, but for some reason I thought she was telling the truth.

"Thank you…"

"Bella, Bella, Bella… that's cute. Isn't that cute, Rose? What a cute little name for a cute little someone for our cute little Edward.." Emmett grinned wickedly. I smirked, slightly amused, but I wiped it off my face when I saw Edward was glaring at him hostilely. Rosalie chuckled under her breath and wrapped her arm around Emmett's waist as we walked.

We approached what I assumed was the party. A bunch of tour buses were parked around and there was a makeshift bar type area set up and a trash can with a fire in it. People stood around drinking and smoking, paired off in groups or couples socializing. It all seemed cool enough…

I looked at the different looking people as we walked by. I recognized some of them as people I'd seen play live that very day as Alice, Jasper, and I waited for Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie's band to go on.

"Bella, would you like a drink?" Edward asked me, tapping my arm slightly.

"Uh, sure. I'll have whatever you're having." I shrugged. Not really caring what he brought back, I doubt I'd be interested in anything other than him. Edward dipped his hand into a water and ice filled cooler and pulled out two water bottles.

"Aw! Edward! That's no fun!" said a guy by the ice chest that had watched him grab our drinks. Edward grinned and shrugged an "oh well." he seemed like he was used to it.

I smiled as Edward handed me my water. He smiled back and it distracted me so that I was surprised by the quick flick of cold water droplets I felt splatter my neck and bare shoulder. Edward laughed and looked guilty, having flicked the water of the melted ice from the cooler off his hand and onto me playfully. "Hey!" I objected.

"Sorry." he muttered, biting his lip and went to brush the droplets off of me, his hand brushed over my shoulder to take the water away, and lingered over my collarbone for a drop that managed to slip away. I tried to fight down the blush I was feeling with an angry glare.

"No you're not."

"You're right. I'm not." he grinned his crooked smile and I no longer cared about anything…

For the next twenty minutes or so Emmett and Rosalie had joined us. Rosalie it seemed was trying hard to be polite and conversational… whatever it was that was bothering her, either about me or not, I was sure once it went away we could be friends. Despite her intimidating gorgeous looks she wasn't as dim as she appeared to be. She talked freely with Edward and Emmett and anyone else who came up to our group to chat. I was introduced to countless people whose names I'd never remember…

I was having a good time, laughing with Edward and Emmett- even Rosalie, I'd like to think. Eventually, our conversation died down after we had exchanged small talk. They asked if I had ever been to the annual summer tour before and I had said no, I explained who my friends were and what my situation was, basically the general facts about my life. In return I found out the band was based in Chicago- but they were no strangers to the Washington and Portland areas.

Edward cleared his throat which caused everyone to turn their attention to him, however he seemed determined to ignore my gaze at the moment. "Hey, Emmett, why don't you go see Jim about mixing the next record? He was talking to Rosalie about it…" I of course, had no idea what he was talking about. If Emmett knew what Edward was really doing, he didn't show it. He simply played along and pretended to be interested.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I told him I was all for it, but he wanted to know your opinion."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll go see him now…"

Emmett turned to leave but waited for Rosalie to get the hint. I stood around anxiously, wondering what Edward was up to, Rosalie wasn't helping either of us. She glared at Edward who stared back at her as if willing her to leave with his eyes. She then turned her gaze on me- as if warning, I didn't know why…

"Rose? You coming?" Emmett placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she finally went away with him.

Edward sighed and I could tell he was slightly annoyed by that, but he forgot about it as he turned to me.

"Come on… I'll give you a private tour of our bus." he smiled and offered me his arm, which I gladly took.

We walked over to the bus that was theirs and he opened the door for me and I stepped up and made my way inside. It was narrow, but much more spacey than you'd expect a bus to be. I wouldn't mind traveling on this thing… especially if it had Edward…

There was a single lamp on inside that lit up a middle area of the bus. It looked like a sort of common, seating area with two couch-like structures on either side of the bus and a walkway in between that lead to the bathroom and bunk beds at the end of the bus. The windows were covered with blinds that were currently shut. I whipped around when I heard the door close behind me and saw Edward standing there with his drink in had, merely watching me take a good look at things. He smiled as he stepped into the light, his bronze hair having a golden, halo like shine from the light bulb that illuminated the otherwise dark tour bus.

He walked past me through the center aisle, for one second our faces were only inches apart. He seemed to slow down in that moment, lingering there before he moved on. I gulped and willed my heart to go back to normal speed once again.

"So you missed both of our shows today, huh?" he asked suddenly, setting his drink down on a small table.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that.." I laughed airily.

"Oh, no don't be!" he insisted. "I can't really blame you." he laughed. "I'm still sorry about that… I'm not proud, thinking about it I still feel like a jerk for it-"

"Trust me, you've made up for it enough." I smiled, stepping closer to him. His eyes roamed my face in the close distance between us. I thought I saw them flicker to my lips, but then I think he realized I saw it so he moved on.

"Can I make up for it even more?" he asked, with a hopeful, wistful look.

"Of course." I breathed, "if that's what you feel like… but know I won't hold it against you."

He smiled warmly at me and his hand moved to grab my forearm, gently sliding down until he held my wrist in his hand and he pulled me along, farther down in the bus until he instructed me to sit. I felt light headed already, I was overcome with him. Overcome with emotion and insane want for this man- and I had barely even known him. It was pure infatuation of the deepest kind. Such an intense and utter liking, such an admiration for him, for who he was, for who he was turning out to be. Such a kind and polite and beautiful and gentle person… I realized he wasn't lying when he said who I had met in the parking lot the first time wasn't him. This was him. The real Edward was fastly becoming my favorite person ever. He was so impressive on every level and it was effortless for him. He just was. To me, he just was.

He disappeared into the darkness only to reemerge seconds later with an acoustic guitar in his hand. He didn't look at me as he sat down across the aisle and tuned the guitar quickly. When he did look back up at me his eyes seemed to smolder and flicker with a dark fire in them I hadn't seen before.

"I get my own private show?" I asked, biting my lip to keep the smile on my face from being too obvious… he laughed at my reaction.

"Of course." he seemed to perk up, my high spirits raising his own, "with me you can have your own private _anything_…" he flashed that crooked smile again and I stared at him, what he had just said running through my mind over and over again with every single possible meaning it could have.

Eventually he broke my gaze and shook his head, as if shaking out all the thoughts- appropriate or not- out of his head. "I'm sorry. That was too much. It's our first date and that was too much..." he laughed lightly under his breath, embarrassed by himself. I didn't care. All I heard was "it's our first date." Did that mean it was only the first of many? There were more to come? Oh God I hope so. I couldn't keep the smile off my face after that.

"Well… that's good to know…" I muttered, looking down. He brought my eyes back up to him as he lifted my chin with his hand.

"I can't exactly play an entire set for you… but would you like to hear a cover song we're working on?"

I could only nod and keep my eyes on him, biting my lip again just to keep myself from lunging forward and crashing his lips to mine. He smiled at me and straightened himself up again. He cleared his throat slightly and started strumming chords. It was amazing how clearly and intimately the sound filled the small space. It seeped through every crevice and opening available, leaking into everything until there was no escaping it and it filled me completely. He hadn't even begun to sing yet and I was already taken by the sound and sight of him, of the song. I had chills up and down my arms as I stared at him, glazy eyed I'm sure as if he were the best thing on earth. Which right now, he was. Then he opened his mouth and started to sing and it was perfect. Normally I would think it would be uncomfortable to have someone singing directly to you, but with him it wasn't. it was as if everything stopped, it was like how everyone says it is…you know the whole bit about: the whole world stops and it's as if you're the only two people alive? That's how it was. I knew now why everyone said that, because there was no other way to describe it… it was easy to listen to the lyrics, despite how dazzling and hypnotizing his eyes were, his face, his mouth… I listened though, and the words of the song, his singing calmed my breathing to a slow and silent, steady series of breaths.

"_And so it is…Just like you said it would be…Life goes easy on me…Most… of the time…And so it is…The shorter story…No love, no glory…No hero in her skies_…._I can't take my eyes off you…I can't take my eyes off you…I can't take my eyes off you…I can't take my eyes off you…I can't take my eyes off you….I can't take my eyes……" _as he got to the chorus my heart swelled. I couldn't bring myself to look away, and yet I thought if I kept staring I'd never be able to leave… as weird and strange as that sounds. I didn't know what was happening to me as he sang, but I knew it was irreversible. I had never heard the song before, but I made a note to listen to the words and search for it later. No doubt I would buy the record and only play it over and over again knowing it as that one song Edward Cullen sang to me. He went through two more versus, simultaneously strumming the guitar so effortlessly, and a few more choruses of 'I can't take my eyes off you' that really made me believe he just might be singing _to _me, not just for me.

When he finished it was silent. It was as if a spell was broken and I could finally look away. He didn't meet my gaze for a moment. I was glad because I didn't know what to say. What do you say to that?? It was only the sweetest thing, the most romantic gesture I'd ever received. I didn't want to tell him, and yet I thought he should know…

"Edward-"

I opened my mouth to say, but I was stopped as his lips crashed to mine, making me shut my eyes. His lips moved against mine for a second with a tangible urgency that it knocked the breath out of me. Just as I went to grab him by the hair, pull him to me, and maybe even deepen the kiss by parting my lips, he pulled away. He took a moment to calm himself. He turned away from me, a fierce gaze in his eyes as he looked away into the dark. He pursed his lips and brought his hand up to his mouth, as if wiping the kiss off his lips, but I didn't think that's what he was doing, for my own hand was at my lips- feeling them curiously as if trying to figure out what had burned them, what had shocked them into life. I knew it was Edward. His breath came out in winded gusts until it was back to normal.

"I apologize."

"Oh." was all I answered. Not this again, I thought. Please don't confuse me again. You like me or you hate me? Don't make me doubt myself anymore… what is it? Stop struggling with whatever it is you're thinking about. It doesn't have to be this hard… is what I was thinking.

"Bella it's not that." he spoke, I realized he had been staring at me as I looked down at the floor, as if he could read my mind, or my face.

"Then what is it Edward?" I shot back at him, he was surprised by my tone as much as I was.

"I just think we should take it slow and steady… I want to really get to know you, Bella, can you honestly be mad at me for that?" his eyes were pleading.

"No." I answered and leaned forward to brush his face with my hand. He relaxed a little and seemed relieved.

"Thank you." he muttered against the palm of my hand, he let his lips linger there, not exactly a kiss, but an embrace against my skin. He pulled away almost sadly and stood up, stashing away the guitar.

"We should go outside… if we don't pretty soon it'll turn into a search party" he tried to smile, but it didn't exactly reach his eyes.

I nodded and he opened the door for me as we stepped out. I was expecting him to offer me his arm again, but instead he didn't. he kept his hands to himself, practically plastered to his sides and his hands stuffed down into his pockets. I tried not to let it bother me. For some reason I knew he was doing it only because he thought it was best. I tried to make everything casual and normal again when his eyes met mine. I smiled and he smiled back. And then I felt an ice cold alcoholic beverage slide down my back, underneath the shirt I was wearing…

**Hope you guys liked this chapter! It's the longest one yet, I hope it's not too long!… and the song Edward covers is called "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice, I'd suggest you listen to it for the full effect. I really like the chorus. Anyway, please review! Thank you :**


	10. Chapter 10

_**BPOV**_

I gasped as the ice cold liquid slid down my back, which arched instinctively, trying to escape the cold shock that ran through my body. My eyes widened once I turned around. There was an angry looking strawberry blonde glaring my way. At first I merely locked eyes with her- trying to figure out if this was some sort of accident… or she had done it on purpose. With the look she gave me I knew it was intentional, I just couldn't figure out why. What had I done to her?

And then I looked back at Edward. He was squinting at her with a deathly glare, his jaw clenched and fists tightened, his blood just boiling underneath the skin with anger- and I knew then this woman hated me because of him. Who wouldn't? I couldn't blame her. He was beautiful and talented and kind and… I'm ashamed to say I'd be just as jealous right now if the tables were turned. It made me wonder though, did this woman have any right to be so jealous? My heart sped up in panic, what if they were exes? What if they were still… on some sort of terms together? What if they had a simply physical relationship but on tour but she wanted more? So then she lashed out at me? It was possible, even though I thought it extremely out of character for Edward… he had told me before he was rather solitary, didn't go out much or didn't go around sleeping with girls… so there had to be another reason. And yet, she looked at me like she was a lover scorned. Maybe she just wished she was with him. Maybe the fact that he chose someone as plain as me instead just infuriated her. She was beautiful, I'm afraid to admit.

"_Oops_… I'm _sorry_.." the woman practically spat at me. I just blinked at her incredulously, holding the back of my shirt away from my body, since it was now wet and even though my back was too, I didn't want the material clinging even more to me.

The blonde woman poured the rest of her drink out on the floor- a little too close to my shoes to be polite. I scoffed. Edward had his hand on my shoulder, trying to lead me away, but before he could and could get a word out to the woman, I spoke up.

"_Seriously_?" I asked, still not believing she had acted so childish. "I thought we were above high school shit," wow twice in one day with the cuss words. Maybe this is a new trend I'm noticing when I get angry with people?

The woman looked shocked, and even more pissed off, but she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I call them as I see them… and honestly? I think we all know Edward can do better." her last words hit hard enough to make me forget what I was about to say. I was left standing there feeling completely humiliated while a small crowd of people from the tour party formed around us watching. My breathing picked up and became more shallow and painful, like I had to try really hard to breathe. My chest heaved and I could feel a blush creeping onto my face as I looked around at everybody… she was right. And they were all just realizing how right she really was.

I turned to walk away, to leave everyone there, including Edward. Something stopped me though-

Another blonde pushed through the crowd- Rosalie.

"Shut the fuck up, Tanya." she said as a matter of fact and tossed her own drink on Tanya's face and chest, leaving Tanya sputtering and blinking liquid out of her eyes. Rosalie grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the scene, since I couldn't move on my own accord anymore. I was too stunned to see she had done that for me. Was I already warming up to her? Or did she just really hate Tanya? Who cares. I was grateful.

I vaguely noticed Edward hadn't joined us by our sides. When I turned around to look for him he was yelling in Tanya's face! Pointing a finger at her and trying his hardest to keep his voice at a reasonable level. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I'd just have to ask him later. That is… if there would be a 'later.' I hoped the date wouldn't be over because of that incident.

Rosalie lead me off to the fire. The flames flickering and casting light in the shadows of the night- I saw them illuminate the features of Emmett's face, looking perplexed as to what Rose was doing with me with no Edward in sight.

"What happened?" he asked.

I sighed, feeling the weight heavy on my shoulders just remembering the altercation…

"Tanya just being a bitch," Rosalie explained, rolling her eyes. Emmett chuckled, the explanation seemed to be enough for him. I'm guessing he knew Tanya enough to understand that that was the only explanation needed regarding that woman.

"Just brush it off, Bella. She's a bit of a hussy" he chuckled. I tried to smile but couldn't exactly. Rosalie was watching me and knew exactly what I was thinking…

"Don't listen to her. She's just jealous. She's been trying to get in Edward's pants for months now since the tour started… I'm embarrassed to say Emmett and I have tried to set them up before- not caring who the woman was, just trying to get Edward some normal action…" she cringed apologetically, I nodded that I understood she regretted it, but I still couldn't shake the thought that Edward could have been possibly tempted by Tanya. "She was just making up lies, trying to get you to feel insecure about yourself.. When the truth is _she's _the one Edward turned down- and she's the one _really _feeling insecure… Just stay away from her and don't take seriously anything she says and you'll do alright, kiddo." Rosalie finished up and I genuinely smiled this time, a small smile, but I did all the same.

Just then Edward bounded up to us. He sighed when he reached our small circle. He wasted no time with apologizing for something that wasn't his fault.

"Bella I'm so sorry! Don't listen to her, she's just…_ugh_." he couldn't even finish his sentence, Tanya seemed to flare his temper, even just the thought of her. He ran his hands through his hair out of frustration as Emmett cut him off.

"Don't worry, Rose already explained everything,"

Edward looked up at Emmett and blinked, as if processing what he said, then he looked to me and Rosalie, noticing she was standing much closer to me than she ever had before.

"Oh." was all he said. "Regardless, Bella, I apologize."

"Don't Edward. It wasn't your fault." I insisted. He sighed, as if he were worn down from all the agitation and the very last nerve he had for Tanya. He looked up at me then, as if trying to read my expression, to see if I was mad or resentful or offended, or something. Then his eyes widened slightly as he realized something.

"Oh, Bella, the back of your shirt is all wet…" he still sounded sorry. I nodded.

"I know but it's fine, Edward, really, please…" I pleaded, pouting slightly. I just wanted him to forget about it. I didn't want him to send me home thinking the whole date was a disaster, I didn't want it to end early because of the incident. I didn't care if my entire back was wet and sticky from the drink- it was uncomfortable, but it was bearable. It was absolutely nothing if I could just stay here and enjoy Edward's company.

He sighed and simply eyed me for a moment, as if he didn't know what to do with me. "No, Bella… you have to dry off. You're already wearing a tank top I don't want you getting sick now that you're wet…"

"Take her back to the bus.. She can borrow one of my shirts." Rosalie offered. I spun around to look at her.

"Oh, no that's okay! Really. Thank you but I wouldn't want to-"

"Bella." Edward cut in, a crooked smile already growing on his face. "It's okay. Let's go get you cleaned up." he offered me his arm again- and I couldn't resist. If he was going to make contact there was no way I was going to turn it down (remembering what had happened just before the whole Tanya scenario- him saying he wanted to take it slow and how he stood with his hands in his pockets to keep from touching me).

So I gripped Edward's bicep, beaming up at him and he smiled down at me and lead us back to their bus.

On the way there, I thought about asking him what he said to Tanya- but since he was in a better mood I decided not to bring it up. He opened the door for me yet again and I stepped inside… only to realize I didn't know where to go. He chuckled under his breath at me and lead me with a hand near my elbow to the middle section of the bus. He brushed past me in the narrow walkway as he went farther in, having me wait somewhere in the middle. He disappeared into the darkness of the back and I heard a door click open and shut. Edward reemerged with a small white hand towel.

"Thank you," I smiled, going to grab the towel from his hand.

Instead, Edward gave me a mischievous smile and turned me around, his green eyes alight with something new… glittering in the dim light of the bus. Surprised but alert of every movement he had, I turned with my back towards him. He brushed all of my hair over to one side and over my shoulder and I heard him step up right behind me. I gulped, but otherwise listened intently… what was he doing?

"You can't exactly dry your own back, can you?" he spoke.

"N-no… I suppose not." it made sense, but he was making it into more than what it was. And I was thrilled.

"Allow me…" he said lowly. I felt the soft, terry material of the towel brush the top of my back that was exposed in my camisole. One hand moved slowly down to the hem of my top. Just as slowly, he pulled it up, exposing the small of my back. I heard his breathing get quiet, yet steady and deep. My own breathing probably matched his own. I wasn't paying attention. All I knew was that he was taking his sweet time and being ever gentle.

He dabbed the towel on the small of my back, making sure to get every drop of moisture. I thought I could smell the taint of alcohol in the air from Tanya's drink on my skin, it was a fruity scent. Edward then drug the towel upward, the back of my top creeping up along with his touch- the towel I mean. I didn't exactly feel his skin on mine- the towel a barrier between us sweeping up moisture but I had a feeling he was following the trail of the towel with his eyes. I was only a bit nervous, not knowing for sure what he saw, I couldn't remember what the skin on my back looked or felt like…

He continued to raise just the back of my top, my arms were down at my sides, keeping the rest of my top covering me in front. He wiped down the rest of my back, it felt good to be dry again, so much more comfortable.

I noticed with a flush of embarrassment that my shirt stopped raising once Edward reached the bottom of my bra. I gulped, wondering if he saw, wondering if this was too much, wondering if I was making a big deal out of it, wondering if he was going back on everything he said when we were in the tour bus before. Didn't he say take it slow? I wasn't completely clueless to know that this whole thing was a little less than completely innocent… he took his time way too much for it to be, with the slow, soft, almost sensual way he dried me off.

Then I felt the absence of the towel on my back. There was nothing. And then I felt the shock of Edward's touch- his fingertips at the base of my back, just above the curve of the small of my back.

"There… all done." he said, slowly still and clearly focused on something else.. I found the words to speak, and spoke what was on my mind.

"I thought you said you wanted to take it slow?" I asked, as his hands didn't leave my skin even after he said he was done, and my shirt hadn't completely fallen back into place.

"I am taking it slow…" he mumbled against my ear as he took a step closer. My hair still swept over my shoulder, he dropped his lips to the back of my neck and dragged them _slowly _up and down. His mouth parted slightly when he reached the crook of my neck that curved into my shoulder. I closed my eyes and hummed contently. I fought the urge to reach up behind me and run my fingers through his hair, encouraging him, pulling his head closer.

I felt him lick his lips against my skin and pull up to kiss my cheek. I turned my face towards him, my eyes eyeing those perfect lips… which curved into a crooked, smug, satisfied grin. Edward was watching me watch him. I looked up to meet his eyes finally and they sparkled with a mixture of excitement and thrill and happiness I think. I wanted to kiss him on the mouth- really kiss him. But he placed a kiss on my cheek again, letting his lips linger for a small moment before making a smacking noise against my skin. Then he finally pulled away.

My shirt was completely lowered back to normal, his hand no longer on my back, his lips away from any part of my body as he stood up straight and backed a normal distance away from me.

"Come on, I'll get one of Rose's shirts for you." he smiled. I was still a little caught up in what had just happened…

I grinned teasingly this time, "You're not gonna put it on for me are you?"

He laughed, it was a musical, light hearted, yet masculine sound. "No… Tempting… but no." I laughed and followed him as he grabbed the first shirt he saw from Rosalie's trunk.

He handed it to me, it was a black, soft material but I couldn't quite make out what it was. He showed me the bathroom in the back of the bus and I went in to go change.

I took off my damp top and replaced it with Rosalie's dry one. It was short sleeved and clingy, with a diamond sort of cut out in the back. It had a small, tiny, turtleneck type of collar but nothing too big and annoying. I didn't even want to look in the mirror and see what it looked like on me. I'd surely find some kind of flaw and feel self conscious. It was bad enough someone as beautiful as Rosalie had picked it out because it flattered her stunning figure- I could only imagine what it looked like on me in comparison.

I stepped out of the bathroom as I decided to play confident for the rest of the night- or at least be myself. I could be myself. I wanted to be. Edward made me believe (especially with that little stunt he pulled back there on my neck) I just might be appealing, in one way or another. Physically and personality wise. Was it so hard to believe he just might be genuinely really interested?… Okay, yes, yes it was hard to believe because he was gorgeous. But that couldn't stop me from pretending otherwise…

"Alright. Ready." I told him as I found him standing in the middle of the bus underneath the light. He turned when he saw me enter but said nothing. For a second I felt nervous, my heart fluttering, but I choked it down. He chose that moment to take action.

He offered his hand to me, I took it and he twirled me around, to which I laughed lightly, my heart getting an innocent thrill out of it I had never known, I only prayed I wouldn't trip over my own feet as Edward guided me. He looked over my full appearance then, his eyes roaming everywhere the shirt clung to when I finally returned to my original position.

"Don't tell Rose…" he spoke, "but that shirt looks way better on you."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"I'm not joking!" he insisted, humor sparkling in his own eyes. But nonetheless, smiling, he let me take his arm again (I did so without him offering, he didn't seem to mind, I wasn't about to let his 'taking it slow' or 'no touching' idea take over him again).

We walked out of the bus and from the side I heard a cat calling sort of whistle… I hadn't even turned to acknowledge it. Those kinds of whistles had never been for me… up until now I guess….

Edward turned at the sound and glared at one of the tour guys, he pulled me on his arm in closer to his body. I turned to look at the man- a dirty blonde guy that resembled a Labrador retriever. Once we caught eyes- something switched inside him. I saw it in his face…. As if he realized something… but that couldn't be. I didn't know him, but he was acting as if he just remembered who I was…

It made me uncomfortable so I looked away with a blush and held on tighter to Edward, who noticed.

"You okay? That was incredibly rude of him. I'm sorry. Not everyone on this tour is so uncivilized, I swear." I heard regret in the tone of his voice. For what? "exposing" me to such conditions? I didn't mind it that much. It wasn't his fault, he had no control over other people's actions. Not everyone was as perfect as him.

"It's okay, Edward. It's not your fault… and don't worry, I'll take your word for it… wouldn't want any bad impressions getting in the way, false ones at that." I tried to lighten the mood with a small smile, which he returned.

I didn't see Rose or Emmett anywhere. I wondered what we would do now…

My heart sunk when I saw Edward look at the time.

"Uh… Bella… it's getting late." he winced. I thought he might've been as pained by the fact as I was. I pouted.

"Um… no it's fine. I don't have a curfew, Edward." I laughed. His smile grew at my statement, but he wasn't completely convinced by it. Crap. I wasn't about to beg him to keep me around longer. What if he was bored? Or had other things to do? What if they were leaving??… when would they all pack up and leave for the neck city?! Oh no…

"I, uh… kind of do." he admitted sheepishly with a grin, as if ashamed or embarrassed. I laughed.

"What do you mean??"

"We have to take off for the next city in time to get there and set up so the tour will be able to start at noon the next day."

"Oh…" I felt my spirits drop. How disappointing!

"But-" Edward cut in, as if reading my emotions, "we don't have to leave yet just…soon. There's still time for us to do something else. You know, some standard activity that officially makes this a date." he grinned humorously.

"Oh you mean like paying for something for me or watching some kind of movie or getting ice cream? All the typical, standard first date stuff one usually does?"

"Yeah, exactly." he nodded, laughing under his breath.

"Well… honestly, it doesn't matter to me. You already sang me a song and played guitar, which earned you enough points to last for at least a couple of dates.." I winked. Edward's smile grew and he put his other hand on mine that was gripped on his arm.

"You know what?…" he paused to think, "why don't we go get a milkshake?" ……

**Hope you guys liked! Review and let me know, that'd be great! You guys are awesome, this story is SO close to a 100 reviews, I think we can easily break it past that point, what do you say? : )**


	11. Chapter 11

**BPOV**

"Milkshakes?" I asked, laughing.

"Yeah! Is there a problem with that?" he was amused too, a smile on his face as he waited for my answer, one eyebrow quirked up.

"No… but where are we going to get milkshakes?"

"There's a Sonic like a block away from here that I noticed when we got in this morning from the last city. We could walk over there, if you don't mind. I think they're open late."

Personally, I didn't care. As long as Edward was willing to take me, I'd follow wherever we'd go.

"Alright, sure." I smiled, my stature picking up along with my good mood, completely leaving everything that happened behind- well, almost everything. I wasn't about to forget the way he had looked at me when I put on Rosalie's shirt or the way his lips felt against my skin or how deliberately close he was to my body when we were in the bus… I kept those sentiments fresh in my mind, wondering what else I could get him to do, or if he'd find a way to do something on his own…

Edward pulled his arm away from my grasp. I frowned. Just when I had been thinking about more contact he goes and- holds my hand?…. Oh. I get it now, he only pulled away so my hand would drop...

He slid his hand down my arm slightly until he reached my wrist that curved into the bottom of my hand. His palm was cool against mine, not cold, but not exactly warm either. As he settled his hand against mine, fitting comfortably, our fingers intertwined and as we walked I noticed his eyes darted down to me. I looked up at him with some kind of disbelieving, mesmerized, glossy, love struck kind of look I'm sure- but he still felt the need to question it.

"Is this okay?" he asked quietly, a little bit under his breath and I wondered if it possibly took him a lot of courage to do that? Was he insane?? He should know by now I definitely liked him! I'd basically be okay with anything! But then again, maybe he didn't know that… I'd have to give him some hints then that I was definitely feeling something- some chemistry, a liking towards him, an attraction…

That would make sense, after all, he had been the one to initiate anything romantic so far on the date. I think it was time to let Edward know how I feel…

To answer his question, I simply nodded my head and gave an "Mmhm," of assurance. I squeezed his hand as if to emphasize my point.

We walked across the parking lot, turning our backs towards the party and all the buses. I looked ahead and saw we were heading to the parking lot exit that lead to the sidewalk along the street.

Once we got there I looked forward, already seeing the bright lit sign of our destination and illuminated outside table sitting area that Sonic had. I kept walking but I felt myself being pulled back, I turned and saw Edward's hand plucking at my sleeve. I gave a questioning look but he simply pulled me so I wasn't the one walking on the side of the road, he moved me so I was on the inside of the sidewalk and he walked on the outside closest to the street. My eyes widened when I suddenly realized what he had done- it was the most random, gentlemanly thing I had ever seen let alone been receptive to. No guy I had ever been interested in or knew in the past had been so considerate as Edward. And I hardly even knew him…

Did he really care that much? Or was it just how he was raised? Couldn't it be a mixture of both? I think it could.

"Um… thank you." I stuttered, blushing and pursing my lips as I looked down at our feet against the pavement.

He chuckled, "Of course. What kind of a man would I be if I let you walk on the outside?"

I laughed, "Still great… but I have a feeling you're only doing it to earn more points with me." I teased, smiling up at him, ignoring the heat on my cheeks from my blush.

He gasped, feigning shock and offense, "Bella! No! ugh… I'm hurt you think so low of me," he made a show of gripping his chest where his heart was and wincing in pain. I laughed at the sight of him, even when he was making faces and joking around he was still inhumanly beautiful. He stopped his act at once to look at me with an appreciative grin, as if he were seeing me for the first time, or had seen something new entirely in me, I couldn't be sure. I met his gaze with my own for a moment, before looking forward and walking closer by his side. I wrapped my arms around his torso and much to my elation, he let go of my hand and placed that same arm over my shoulder, holding me to his side as we walked.

My hands clung to his shirt and I could feel how defined his body was underneath, how solid and strong he felt under my arms. It was a wonderful feeling. In that moment I realized for the first time how opposite a man and a woman are, and yet it's those differences that make them fit together. The softness of my curves were the exact opposite of his physique.

By the time I had finished pondering that, we were turning into the lighted patio of Sonic. They had red tables outside and little order and menu boxes on polls all around, even next to the parking spaces in the parking lot.

Edward hadn't let go of me when we walked up to one of menu boxes. He quickly scanned it and knew what he was ordering, I did the same and deciding on a simple strawberry shake.

His arm dropped from my shoulder and went to his back pocket and pulled his wallet out. The Sonic employee's voice boomed from the speaker box where Edward greeted them.

"Hi. What can I get for you?" said what sounded like a teenage boy.

"Can I get two medium shakes?" he asked.

"Sure. What kind?"

"One pineapple and one….?" he turned and looked at me.

"Strawberry." I said simply.

"Kay. Your order should be right up, your total is five dollars."

And with that, the voice was cut off, leaving Edward and I alone, the only ones in the table area- then again, I'm sure it was pretty late. Almost early, early morning… but it was still so dark outside.

I walked over to one of the tables and sat down on the table top, my feet on the seat instead. Edward hopped up and joined me, leaning back on his hands.

"Strawberry huh?" he smirked, "Why am I not surprised?"

My eyebrow furrowed in confusion, I let out a laugh, "Um, I don't know?"

He laughed this time, "I just noticed your hair smells like strawberries… I'm beginning to notice a pattern, here." he grinned, clearly amused. I laughed too, but I was more caught up in the fact he knew what my hair smelled like…

"I'm sorry, is that creepy of me to notice the fragrance of your hair?" he grinned at the question, still amused, even with himself, but he was actually genuinely curious.

"No." I shook my head and my smile widened, "I'm sure you couldn't help it. I've been told I have a certain… smell." I grinned even more.

"Yeah. You reek of strawberries and deliciousness."

I laughed at his choice of words, _"Reek?_? Maybe you just have super strong, inhuman senses?" I shot back.

"Oh yeah, that's exactly what it is. You're right. I'm not even human." he rolled his eyes but he continued to have a sort of playful look as he watched me, clearly enjoying the moment.

"Uh-oh." I smiled.

"Yep. You've found out my secret."

"What happens now?" I found myself asking. He didn't answer but eyed me with that same crooked smile I was becoming used to- addicted to really. As the seconds ticked by in silence between us his smile only grew wider, he leaned into me and-

"Here's your guys' shakes." came the voice of a girl. I had to use all my strength to keep from rolling my eyes in annoyance and frustration… I wasn't sure what Edward was about to do to me, but my instincts told me it wasn't something I wanted to miss. But of course we get interrupted. Of course. Just my luck…

Edward seemed disappointed too and I felt sorry for the Sonic girl. He let out a sigh and paid her. She wobbly handed him our drinks but her eyes never left his face. She was on rollerblades and I was seriously in concern for her safety right now. She was unsteady as it is, but staring at Edward and his incredible looks weren't going to help…

"Thank you." he dismissed her.

"Mmhm. Have a nice night." even her voice was shaky. As she turned away she still eyed him, but at the last second her gaze shifted to me. I smiled, but I felt bad for her. She was just a young high school girl and the sight of twenty something, gorgeous Edward could be down right intimidating. Beautifully scary, really.

We sipped on our milkshakes, quiet for a moment. I watched Edward as he looked out into the darkness just beyond the light of the restaurant. My eyes darted down to his lips, how they formed around the straw of his drink… Wow. This time I made myself blush as my thoughts wandered in the flash of a second to something not so innocent.

Edward turned and caught me staring.

"What?" he asked, pulling his drink away from his mouth. A small, melted drop of his drink glistened on his bottom lip as he looked at me expectantly.

"Nothing." I quickly nodded, sucking down my milkshake as an excuse not to talk. I was too flustered in trying to recover from being caught I almost didn't notice him eyeing me now…

I noticed his eyes weren't looking at mine, instead they were focused lower on my mouth… I laughed inwardly, glad I wasn't the only one who could achieve that kind of effect and just to mess with him, I pulled away from my drink and licked my lips.

At the motion his eyes flashed up to mine.

"Can I try yours?" he asked. I laughed. "What?" he questioned, grinning already, wondering what he had done to make me so amused, one eyebrow piqued up in intrigue, "You're not afraid to drink after me, are you?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Oh… for a second I thought maybe you were germ- a- phobic."

I giggled lightly and handed him my shake, to which he grinned widely, satisfied, and wrapped his lips around the straw I had been drinking from. He took a sip, a big one, and I watched him and waited for him to hand it back… but he never did. He just kept drinking.

"Hey!" I protested. "Edward, give it back!"

He hummed a wicked laugh and turned away from me on the bench as he continued to gulp down my milkshake.

"Edward!" I warned and swatted his back, he ducked away from the attempt and finally handed it over. I squinted at him with a pretend deathly glare. I handed him back my shake and grabbed his pineapple one for myself.

"Trade." I stated, "it's only fair… since you practically downed mine." and I drank his shake instead… which was surprisingly really good.

He grinned at me for a moment before speaking, content to take my shake instead, not minding in the least…

"You know _technically_…" he started, "we kinda just swapped spit. Which _technically _concludes, we kinda just kissed."

I smiled softly and looked down at the ground, a faint rosy blush warming my cheeks. I hummed a small laugh, before looking up straight ahead, "_Technically_…" I stressed, "not really…" I mumbled under my breath, mostly to myself, barely even above a whisper. Edward must've taken it to offense, he sprung into action and before I knew it his lips were planting kisses all over my face. He pecked along my jaw, sweet, little wet kisses until he reached the hollow under my ear and leaned his head against mine. His breathing labored, I could feel his warm breath cascade down the side of my face. His eyes were shut and his whole body was turned towards me. I leaned my head a little to the side, into him, swooning internally over him. I knew what he was doing. He was holding out on kissing me on the lips. Not even just fully, but entirely. I don't know what he was saving it for, if for anything, or what kind of agenda he had, but nonetheless he controlled himself- if he wanted it at all…

"Edward…" I whined, pouted, whimpered…and leaned into him more, I swung my legs up and draped them over his. He sighed and his exhale of breath washed over me again, one of his hands going to rest on my knee.

"Bella… I'm going to miss you." he spoke as if all hope and joy had left his body. My heart sunk to the very pits of my being…. Oh no. Did that mean he was leaving? There was no way of staying? Of me going? Or maybe he just hadn't thought of that yet or of the best way? Maybe he wasn't sure that's what I wanted? Or….

I didn't know. I didn't know what the hell was going on in that man's mind but I wanted to stick around and find out! And it seemed like his circumstance wasn't letting him. Stupid, favorite band of mine that had to be so good and travel and tour and be taken away from me…

But I couldn't be entirely too mad, for it's how I met him.

I sighed sadly, "Do we need to leave now?"

He solemnly nodded. All I could do was accept fact.

We moved to get up from the table and walked back to the arena grounds.

The was no trace of the party once we got there. Everything had been cleaned up and packed away- almost no people even in sight. Everyone had gone to their bus and they formed a line, driving out of the parking lot and into the streets to make for the nearest high way. My heart cringed at the sight. He really was leaving. I was too distraught with the raw emotion of disappointment that I didn't even notice or care how much I had grown attached to him. It didn't scare me like it should have to know and realize I barely knew him and didn't want to leave him. I wondered if Edward felt the same way…

"Do I need to call a cab?" I asked, we had been holding hands on the way back from Sonic, "I don't want to bother Jasper and Alice, it's kind of late…"

"No." Edward shook his head, "We'll take you back on the bus."

"Oh." I was surprised. I felt like a burden but Edward assured it was nothing.

As we hopped on the bus, Edward stopped to tell the driver my address and that we would be taking me home first. Initially, the driver (a twenty something year old guy with a nose ring and gages) looked surprised, and then he looked down at Edward holding my hand and seemed to get the picture.

Edward lead me to the middle of the bus and pulled me down on the couch seat next to him. I snuggled into his side and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I looked around and Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere in sight.

"Sleeping." he answered my silent question simply.

We drove in silence for a few moments. I wanted to talk to him, ask what this means, what was next? I had his phone number but still… I had so many questions. Not just ones about us dating, but just about him in general, personally, and the band and about his life. I wanted to know what he really wanted to do, what his goals were, what people he knew, what was important…

And somewhere, where I fit into the mix?

I pulled away from my thoughts to notice Edward staring at me. He had a thoughtful look in his eyes, and yet something he was trying to reserve, hold back… I couldn't tell if it was something good, or something that saddened him…

"What?" I whispered, nervously raising my hand to the side of my neck.

His eyes dropped down to my lips for a second then back up to my inquisitive gaze.

"How many… _boyfriends_… have you had?" he asked quietly, as if he didn't really want to know, but did at the same time. I gulped, panic surged through me and nervousness. What was I going to say? I hadn't really had any boyfriends…. Ever. He'd think I was some inexperience, naïve, lowsy preteen or something. Not the mature assured woman I was supposed to be…

"Why do you want to know?" I found myself asking instead. He winced, taking that as me getting defensive, when I hadn't meant it like that at all.

"You're right, it's none of my business. I just…. Was curious as to how many came before me."

I didn't say anything. I just stared at him unbelievingly. Was he…?

I blinked, still dumb founded, "Are you…?"

"Jealous?" he finished for me. I couldn't bring myself to say the word or even think it- I wasn't that lucky for it to be true- was I?

He nodded, looking embarrassed and ashamed. "Yes. I'm sorry, you deserve better but I couldn't help it… I was sitting here, and I could tell you were thinking, you were so quiet and I was just staring at your lips, wondering how many were there before me…I'm so sorry, Bella." his eyes looked pleading, but bothered and uneasy at the same time. I pursed my lips and stared at him. He looked away from my gaze after a while, feeling embarrassed. I reached my hand up and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Why don't we have this talk later? If you promise I'll see you again,"

He thought my words over for a moment, and then nodded.

By then, we had pulled up to Jasper's apartment building. I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for Edward.

As he stood up he squeezed my hand even tighter, as if he knew he'd have to let go soon. I thought it was the sweetest thing.

The bus driver told me goodnight. I saw his eyes wash over me when Edward wasn't looking. It was strange to me he would do that when I was clearly with the guy whose band's bus he drove…

It just went to prove not every guy was like Edward. You didn't find a guy like him everyday. Sure, Alice had gotten lucky with Jasper, but never had I even witnessed someone as amazing as Edward. I had to hold onto him.

We stood outside of the gate of the apartment complex. Edward looked up at the third story where Jasper's room was from over my shoulder. He sighed and held each of my hands in his own. When he finally looked back down to me we stayed silent. It was that awkward part at the end of the date where you both know what you want, but don't know if it's what the other person's thinking…

I wanted to kiss him and give him something to remember me, but I wanted to save that for later too…

So when Edward leaned in for my lips, I backed away.

He looked surprised, his eyes widened and shocked, and slightly… hurt by my action. I smiled at him, a flirty look in my eye. I placed a finger on his lips and leaned up real quick to give him a kiss on the side of his neck.

"Don't." I said. When he moved in for my mouth again. It was the last blow his pride to take and I'm sorry, but he had to understand.

"Don't kiss me just yet… they'll be plenty of time for that. I'll see you again remember?" I asked, hopeful and playful at the same time. Pushing away the sadness that he was leaving the city.

He grinned softly, "Right… but I just-"

"If you really want that kiss, you'll have to come back and get it… or I'll just have to go to you." I wrapped my arms around him for a hug, and he hugged me back in return, holding me tightly.

He finally pulled away, realizing what I had done by rejecting him and his kiss. He wasn't so disappointed about it now. It was just a little incentive to make sure we saw each other again.

"Goodbye, Bella."

"Bye, Edward… Call me when you get into the next city?" I asked. He nodded in affirmation, a look of affection already on his face at the thought.

He sighed and brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. He stared a moment, and I memorized the look on his face just then.

He turned around to go, but now without looking over his shoulder...

"Be Safe" I told him.

"You too."

**Hope you guys enjoyed! Please review, thanks to all the fantastic reviews so far... **


	12. Chapter 12

**BPOV**

I climbed up the steps to Jasper's apartment with an unsettled feeling… and yet I was perfectly content and happy- but then I was restless and unsure, but hopeful.

I slipped quietly into the living room after Alice came and opened the door for me. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and readjusted her pajama robe and folded herself up on the couch. Her hair was already a mess with bed head, and I had a feeling Jasper was still slumbering in his room.

I merely sighed, leaning up against the wall for a moment.

"So how was it?… Don't think I don't notice your change of shirt either." she grinned sleepily.

I smiled, as the seconds went by, trying to formulate an answer in my head my smile grew more and more radiant.

"That good, huh?" she guessed.

I nodded, "Mmhm. He was perfect, Alice. He really was."

"Did you kiss him?" she quirked up an eyebrow.

"Yeah. A couple times actually…once on the lips but not fully, it was too short and quick and kind of like an eager peck…" I added quickly, before Alice could get over excited about anything.

"Oh… well I guess that's alright. I'm sure he wanted to-"

"He did." I cut her off,

"_Oh?_" she was steadily easing out of her previous sleepy state and becoming more and more excited and interested.

"Yeah. But I said no.." I smirked, "I said if he wanted it that bad he'd have to see me again to get it."

"Ooh, smart move."

"I know," I laughed.

"So what happens next? Isn't he…leaving?" she sensed my disappointment.

"Yeah… but I told him to call me when he got into the next city. I dunno, Alice. I think we'll figure something out, but it's all so new I don't know if he'll want to put that much work into keeping a relationship, it might prove to be too difficult for him and not enough in return…" my bottom lip pouted.

"Bella, don't say that. You don't know, he just may be looking forward to it, there's nothing to say he wouldn't… it seems like you guys really hit it off. The beginning of the relationship is one of the most exciting times… everything's so new and you just can't get enough of each other, and it's all lovey dovey and cute and you're all smitten and…" he trailed off, realizing she was rambling, probably reminiscing about how her and Jasper started off. I laughed and sat down next to her on the couch. Her and Jasper were a unique story, but I had a feeling mine and Edward's (if we continued) just might be able to be in the same league.

"But tell me… what's with the new shirt?" she turned and asked.

"Oh… Ugh. This crazy chick poured her drink on me, and the band's bassist Rosalie let me borrow a dry shirt of hers to wear." I shrugged, like it was nothing, and yet showing my distaste for the subject, particularly the memory of Tanya…

Alice's eyes widened, "What?! Why would she do that?!"

"Apparently she has a thing for Edward…"

Alice's eyes widened, "Uh-oh."

"Yeah," I agreed with a scoff, "but Rosalie and Emmett, Edward's bandmates, basically reassured me it was nothing and just to ignore her."

"Ah, well… do just that then."

"I know. And you know what? I'm not gonna let anything get to me with this. I'm just gonna enjoy it for what it is, you know? While it lasts for however long it does…" I shrugged. Alice watched me, thinking about what I was saying.

"I'm tired of worrying, tired of being insecure and tired of feeling like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm tired of being stuck and working all the time… most of all I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth it."

Alice pouted, my words bittersweet to her. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck, causing me to hug her back and smile into her silky black hair.

"Bella you should have never felt those things…"

"I know, Alice."

She pulled away with a sigh.

"Come on… time for bed." she stood up and pulled me by my hand and lead me to the guest room of the apartment. I said goodnight to her by the door and shut it, plopping down on the bed, just getting comfortable and snuggling up in the pillows and sheets, perfectly fine that I was still in Rosalie's shirt and my jeans. I didn't care.

My eyes drifted shut and I fell asleep.

Some hours later into the night, I heard the house phone ring. It rang and rang and rang. It rang until the answering machine picked up and I heard the sound of the recording- Jasper's voice, saying politely he wasn't available to answer the phone and to please leave a message. I was too sleepy and groggy to realize maybe I should've gotten up and answered it…

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like being doused with cold water. Edward was calling! I had told him to call when he got in- and I completely missed it!

With a worried gasp, I jumped out of bed and scrambled down the hall to the answering machine on the kitchen counter.

What met me there I wasn't prepared for.

Both Alice and Jasper stood by the machine. Jasper had hit the volume switch, causing the sound of Edward's voice to drain out. I looked from one to the other.

"What? What's going on?" I asked, slightly worried, even though I knew I had no reason to be. Jasper looked down at Alice and sighed.

"I don't think she'll be that mad you know…" he muttered to her. Alice still bit her lip in worry.

"Alice? What?" I asked, moving towards her. She took a steadying breath.

"Bella, Edward called…"

"And? He left a message? What'd he say?"

"Calm down… it's nothing bad, we'll let you hear it for yourself, just…. I sort of need to explain something first…" she looked sorry, her eyes down cast after they met mine for a second.

"Okay.. Sure, Alice, anything." I assured her, sitting down at a stool in the kitchen.

She inhaled deeply and she and Jasper sat down too.

"You remember when we told you when I scraped my knee? At the concert? How we went to the first aid tent and we were talking to that guy about how we lost our friend?"

I only nodded, I couldn't possibly imagine where she was going with this.

"And how we told him what your favorite band was? And pointed you out to him when you walked by?" I nodded again… still completely clueless. She inhaled again.

"Well… you know he's the one who gave us the tip off about where to meet your band. He told us where to wait and where the buses were… and remember you were wondering why he tipped us off?"

"_Yeah_…" I said slowly. I had wondered that. I remembering wondering why out of everyone there that day he decided to give such valuable information to them. Why'd he do it? He would probably get in trouble if anyone knew he did.. So why'd he risk it? Alice seemed to know all the questions I was thinking and so she answered.

"He said if we could get you to agree to talk to him, some sort of little lunch date or something, that he'd tell us where you could meet your favorite band…"

She paused, letting me take that in. Honestly though… I didn't know what to say. What do you say to that? Was she for real? There's no way. It was completely ridiculous. First of all, I highly doubt I'm that tempting to lure that kind of attention, much less get the poor guy to wager for a date…. How insane.

Alice looked nervous as she waited for me to speak, instead I started laughing. Jasper looked at me with a scolding look.

"Bella! She's telling the truth! We had to give him our number so he could call. They're gonna be in the state for two more nights so he wanted to work something out and buy you lunch! He called tonight but you had already left on your date with Edward! We didn't pick up the phone thinking he'd get the hint… but after we heard Edward's message right now on the machine, well… there's a good chance you're going to run into him cause Edward pretty much just invited you out to go see them on tour..."

"What?!" I shrieked. "What did Edward say? How'd he say it?! Let me hear his message!" my eyes widened with excitement and my smile was warm and I got a dizzy feeling of elation just thinking about it.

"Bella!" Jasper and Alice yelled. "This is serious!"

I bit my lip, thinking about it… if what they said was true… how was I going to handle it? I couldn't go out on another date- romantic or not- if I wanted to continue to see Edward. Especially if I would have to go to the concert in the next city to see either one of them. They'd both find out, it was too easy. Too small. Could I just explain to Edward? Could I explain to this mystery guy?

"Wait so… run that by me again?…" I listened intently this time, soaking it all up and trying to take it seriously- I mean, I had to, sort of. If it weren't for this guy, I wouldn't have met Edward and I wouldn't have this amazing opportunity with that amazing man… maybe I could see this guy… if only just to thank him, because I really appreciated the tip and I was grateful…

When Jasper finished explaining the situation again he added, "So… it's up to you whether or not you want to go out with him… but we felt kind of guilty, since we sort of just basically sold the guy your soul for the chance of meeting the band- but we thought it would make you happy, so we agreed. Thinking back on it now, it probably was pretty irrational- the guy could've been crazy or-"

"Some man-whore." Alice cut in.

"Right…" Jasper continued, "But the decision is yours… it depends on how you feel. We could get tickets into the next concert and hang around in case he tries anything funny… basically, we're just sorry about the whole thing. But it's not like we were expecting you to hit it off with one of the band members and fall for him- but it's no excuse." Jasper shrugged. He gave an apologetic smile. Alice looked more guilty though.

"I feel like I've pimped you out."

I laughed, "Oh, Alice…"

But really.. What was I going to do? Maybe I had been pimped out…

"What did you say this guy's name was?"

"Mike." Alice answered me.

"What's he look like?"

"Hmm… decent looking, okay, but if you stood him next to Edward or Jazz- he'd be down right plain." she chuckled and so did Jasper.

"Great." I mused sarcastically, silently in my mind, I added: that makes two of us. At least I wasn't the only one who looked plain standing next to Edward…

"He's got dirty blonde hair, mostly brown, kind of reminded me of a dog… Labrador to be exact," said Alice, reminiscing.

_Labrador_. That sounded familiar…

My mind quickly flashed back to when I was with Edward at the party… and the guy who had whistled at me… he looked at me like he recognized me from somewhere….

Oh no.

I gasped.

"What?!" Alice asked eagerly.

"I… I think I saw him tonight at the party!" I yelled, blinking my eyes, still not believing, in shock, and yet there he was- his image in my mind as plain as day in my memory and I knew it had to be him they were talking about… oh no. oh no. oh no.

"He saw you with Edward then." Jasper stated, not really a question but a fact.

"Right." I nodded. "but he didn't do anything about it. In fact, he didn't even approach me… all I got was a cat call, but I think he did that before he even knew who I was, and then he was shocked… I didn't know why then, though." I breathed, as it was all finally pieced together.

I pursed my lips… "What do you think I should do?" I looked up at Alice and Jasper. They exchanged glances.

"Well… I kind of feel bad for the guy." Jasper spoke up first. "If you didn't at least call him- whether it be to tell him no or what- I'd feel guilty… like we scammed him."

"He kind of scammed us." Alice retorted.

"I know- but in his defense- he kept his word. You did meet the band, and if it weren't for that…" he trailed off. I nodded that I understood. I did owe him- in a sense. But not so much as to make out with him or go on some romantic rendezvous. He can forget that! I wasn't about to feel obligated or allow myself to be used that way.

"All I can say is, he didn't seem like a bad guy… he wasn't creepy. He was normal." Jasper shrugged. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Right, that's all fine and dandy but…. What about Edward?" I couldn't help but feel the need to put him first. I wasn't going to jeopardize my chances, no matter what, and it was all so new- I didn't want to start out the beginning of something with lies…

I knew then what I was going to do.

Jasper and Alice watched me, knowing the look on my face and that I had come to a decision.

I looked up at them, opening my mouth to speak, "I'll call this… Mike guy, talk to him and see what he sounds like. Maybe it won't be that bad. I can tell him thank you and I appreciated the opportunity- we can have lunch or something- something during the day time with lots of people around and no romantic environment whatsoever…" I spoke cautiously, hoping everything would go as smoothly as I made it sound now. I had to be careful and straight forward. I wasn't going to let any _wrong impressions_ or misunderstandings or miscommunication get in the way and somehow manage to mangle my ties with Edward.

"What about Edward?" Alice whispered, I sighed.

"I'm just going to tell him. After all, it's not really my fault, I didn't know about it…"

Alice took the words the wrong way and flinched, "_We're sorry_…" she pouted.

"Oh I know! I didn't mean it that way… but I say it in the nicest way possible, this whole situation really was out of my control…" I grinned at both of them, willing them to understand I was in no way resentful or angry. I didn't know if I should be…. But regardless, I loved the two of them so much I couldn't do it.

"Well.. Are you sure?" Jasper asked. He had his hand poised over the answering machine, ready to press play for the sound of Edward's recording.

I nodded my head, "Positive."

**Lucky for you guys I've had some free time on my hands and could update super fast! : ) I hope this chapter clears some stuff up, I had been dropping hints all along in the other chapters that was leading up to this- it's how they got the tip off where to meet Edward and his band, and consequently, it's gonna create a little bump in the road for Edward and Bella... Review, thanks guys!**


	13. Chapter 13

**EPOV**

As soon as I got back on te bus, I wanted to call Bella, but I had to wait. I had just dropped her off and already I was aching to call her… but that might come off as too pushy.

Regardless of how difficult it was, I did manage to fall into a decent sleep. I hadn't bothered curling up in my bunk, instead I laid out on one of the side couches that lined the wall in the middle area of the bus. I wanted to be first to know we had arrived in the next city- which was valid grounds for calling Bella.

A couple hours later, our driver Daniel woke me as he stopped the bus and got out at what he said was our last rest stop- we had made it into the city. Daniel got out at a gas station to use the restroom, as I heard him clamoring about it woke me further. I stretched and wiped my eyes, desperately wanting to overcome the incoherent sleep so I could be awake enough to call Bella without rambling and slurring out words.

I stood up and looked at the early morning sun- it was very early. The sky still held a tinge of dim to it, the sun not yet fully alight.

I whipped out my cell phone and dialed Bella's number- or rather, her friend's number to the place she was staying at tonight.

As the phone rang, I couldn't help but remember our last conversations. The first had been me asking about her previous boyfriends. I almost groaned in dread at the thought. I didn't really want to know… as the saying goes, "what you don't know, can't hurt you," and yet it kept nagging at me. I couldn't imagine Bella with anyone that remotely deserved her, even I didn't really, not after I had unjustly treated her as we met, but I was aiming to make up for that. I was aiming to make up for that and then some…

The next conversation we had flashed through my memory, everything coming back to me now that I was awake. Like a dream, a good or crazy dream you had while you were sleeping that comes crashing back down to you once you wake up and you finally remember. I'd have to see her again. I wanted that kiss. Hell, I wanted a lot more than that kiss.

I cleared my throat, waiting for the phone to pick up. I felt almost bad for calling her so late, or early rather, but after all she had told me to. The phone continued to ring and ring, eventually I debated whether I should hang up, but before I could the answering machine picked up.

I heard the voice of a male- Jasper- saying please leave a message. I had almost forgot the guy had a girlfriend, I was relieved to remember he did.

I inhaled a deep breath before speaking…

"Uhm, hi, this is Edward calling for Bella… Sorry I know it's late, but we got into the next city okay," I cringed, feeling kind of stupid, as if she really cared how or where I was- she was probably busy blissfully sleeping… "I'm just checking in like you told me to," Aw, crap. That made it sound like I really didn't want to call her, I only did it cause she asked me to… "um, look, I was wondering… I know we talked about it before I left, but how bout we make that second date a lot sooner- as in… today, actually. We're only in the state for two more nights and I'd really like to see you." I paused, breathing deeply at the sound of my words and the shock and realization of how real and true they were. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I had never called a girl-one I liked, at that- for such personal reasons. Solely for the chance to hear her voice. The idea was sobering to me. It was real. It was all really real… "Okay… call me back, Bella. Bye."

I sighed and hung up the phone. I stared at it for a moment. The screen with the contact name of 'Bella's friend's house' and the time of the call flashing before quickly turning back to the regular display of my phone.

I heard heavy, stomping feet coming down the aisle of the bus. My head shot up to see Emmett squinting incoherently as he walked. He was a zombie, still too much asleep that it was dangerous to be moving about.

He yawned largely as he reached me. "Be right back." he muttered, "if Rosie wakes up tell 'er I went to go drop a doo-"

"I get it. You plan to have a bowel movement."

"Yep."

"I speak on behalf of us all when I say we appreciate that you didn't do it on the bus." a grin threatened to form on my face, I was just relieved he hadn't caught me on my cell phone- especially so early in the morning, obviously calling Bella. I'd never hear the end of it until I brought Bella back around on our second date.

He laughed and walked off. I watched from the window for a moment before I flopped back down on the couch, turning my back on the center aisle and burying my head underneath a throw pillow, my eyes wanting the dark to catch up on sleep.

**BPOV**

I listened silently to Edward's message. Alice hung over my shoulder and listened as intently too. Jasper had stalked off, not exactly interested in the girl talk that would ensue the second Edward's message ended.

I smiled unconsciously at the sound of his voice. His message was simple, and yet it seemed to speak so many things he didn't actually say out loud. From the tone of his voice, he sounded sincere, like he really did want to see me- and all that sooner too only made me more happy and confident about the situation. I ignored my dilemma just for the moment. All thoughts of this Mike character vacated my mind and all I allowed it to be was Edward's voice, Edward's words. That's all that mattered. After all, if everything was good with Edward, then there really were no problems. It seemed anything I could handle.

Much to my dismay, Edward's beautiful, velvet voice drained out and stopped talking.

Alice and I took a moment to compose ourselves.

"Well, that was nice." she mused casually.

"Uh-huh."

"When are you going to call him back? He wants to see you…" she glanced at the clock. It still seemed like night, but technically it was morning and the next day. "Today, actually." she smiled and she knew I was excited, because really I had only seen Edward just hours ago. It was like a double fix getting to see him, hear from him, again so soon. (Even though I asked him to call when he got in the next city, I didn't feel like it mattered. He may have called because he wanted to, or because I asked he did. Either way, he proposed a "second date" all on his own).

I let out a half blissful, half disappointed sigh. "Should I call Mike first? If he doesn't answer, maybe I won't have to tell Edward anything."

Alice nodded, "true… but if he doesn't, and you talk to Edward, you need to make sure where you're meeting. If he asks you to go to the next show in the next city on the tour grounds, you might run into Mike… with Edward there too. I don't think that'd be a very good situation." Alice explained, all knowingly.

I nodded, it was a terrifying situation I hoped wouldn't come true.

"It has the potential to make you seem shady.. And we wouldn't want to confuse Edward because that's not your agenda at all…"

"Of course not!" there were so many things wrong with that idea, that situation…

First of all, Edward and I weren't anything- yet. We were simply going to see each other again because we hit it off, enjoyed one another's company…so I wasn't sure if it was completely against the rules to "see" other people too, like the casual dates Edward and I were having (which really weren't _that _casual with the inexplicable chemistry I felt towards him, that I could only hope was mutual) but the idea of Edward not being the only one, especially if I continued to date him, eventually leading up to something official and exclusive- the faintest notion, prospect of having someone else on the side, cheating on Edward was downright insane and preposterous. Blasphemy really. I wasn't even sure if I used that word in the right context, all I knew was that it seemed to justify such a wrong, such a terribly inconceivable wrong doing and lie. I would take no chances with someone who meant nothing to me, like Mike, somehow blurring the real picture of my intentions to Edward. It was all so new and we still had so much to get to know each other- even though I was pretty sure Edward knew I wasn't that kind of girl, I didn't want to chance it. Edward already meant to much to lose.

Alice grabbed the phone and looked through the caller ID with a series of button clicks, then handed me the phone. When I pressed it up to my ear, it was already ringing. I was slightly hoping it was still too early, that Mike wouldn't answer, but I was never that lucky…

"Hello?" came a surprisingly, awake, alert sounding voice. Jasper was right, he did sound normal, not creepy.

"Um, hi. I don't know where to start… but I guess you tried calling this number earlier. You talked to Jasper and Alice yesterday and tipped them off about a band… if that makes any sense…" I trailed off. For some reason I wasn't nervous or jittery about calling Mike. He wasn't Edward, so I really didn't care a whole lot about my impression.

"Oh, yeah! Hey." he sounded instantly cheery.

"Hi."

"Bella, right?"

"Mmhm. Mike?"

"Yeah."

I stood, almost impatiently as Mike made no particular to speed up the conversation and not waste too much of my time so early in the morning. Even Alice, only hearing my side of the conversation, got bored and began digging through the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice and poured herself a glass.

"I called to tell you thank you. Never did I ever imagine I'd be able to meet my favorite band," that's for sure… never did I imagine I'd be going out on a date with them, either, "So I just want to say thank you, really."

"Oh no problem…" he paused, awkward, wondering how to reveal the real reason for his tip. He had to know that I knew, though, or otherwise why would I be calling?

"So… did Alice and Jasper tell you our little story?"

"Yeah." I answered simply, but decided to go on, wanting to stay in control of the situation, "and a lunch date is fine with me. I just have to tell you, I had no idea about this…but I really do appreciate what you did-"

"Oh, you're welcome." he cut me off. I pushed on-

"er…Thanks.. But, I have to be forward with you, I can only do the one date. I'm sort of… busy. I just don't have time for anything else."

"Oh." he sounded dejected, really disappointed and I felt bad. I wondered if he was even really interested anymore, since I just basically drowned and put to rest of anything else coming out of the date- like he was probably hoping would happen. "Is that okay?" I asked, being more considerate of my tone, "I'm sorry, Mike."

"It's alright, Bella. I'd still like to take someone as lovely as you out to lunch."

I smiled, "Thanks."

"So… would today be too short notice if I asked you to join me?"

"Umm…" Crap. Edward wanted to see me today.

"We're just in the next city over from where you're at…today's my day off on tour, we could eat here and walk around if you'd like. I could take you around, backstage a little, maybe even meet that band again you liked so much…"

Oh crap! No. I haven't talked to Edward yet… and going on this date with Mike and having him "introduce" me to the band, would be terrible. But- if I could stay away from the band, and just have lunch with Mike there during the festival, then I'd already be there. After my "date" ended with Mike, I could spend time with Edward.

"Um… lunch, and maybe watching a few sets would be fine." I managed to choke out, answering Mike.

"Really? Okay, sweet."

"Okay."

"How bout one or two o'clock we meet? Is that time okay?" he asked, sounding a lot more hopeful than he should have considering I already told him it wasn't going to go anywhere.

"Sure, Mike."

"Alright, Bella. See you then."

"Bye."

We hung up, and Alice I just noticed, was listening again, apparently more entranced since the conversation had picked up and actually turned into us making plans.

She stared at me a moment longer in silence, "Why didn't you just tell him you were seeing someone else?"

I hadn't really thought of that, actually… was I really even "seeing" Edward anyway? Even still, I could have said that, because I was solely interested in Edward, but I hadn't thought about it, even though it was sort of obvious, but regardless-

"I shouldn't have to. I have the right to simply not be interested."

Alice nodded, thinking it over and finding wisdom to my words.

"Are you going to call Edward now?"

"I want to… but I think I'll wait a little later, until a decent hour of the morning."

"Hmm… okay…. You know what you're doing?"

I nodded, "Yeah… I mean I hope so. I'm going to be straight forward with him. He can't be mad at me for that… you can't really argue it either. Mike's the only reason I met Edward."

"True… let's just hope Edward sees that too."

**There you go, hope you enjoyed reading it. Review and let me know what you think of how it's going : ) oh and I'll be going on vacation in 2 days, gone for about a week, I'm not sure when I'll be able to update this again or my other story either… after I get back from vacation I really need to start my summer assignments too and it's not easy so I'm not sure when I'll be updating again… I'll get it in though when I can, I don't think I'd leave you guys hanging TOO long… haha, but I can't promise anything for sure though. Thanks for reading everyone!**


	14. Chapter 14

**BPOV**

I went back to sleep and woke up around 8 or 9. The early morning's news and messages came crashing back down to me- I realized I had something sort of awkward to tell Edward… and something even more unpleasant to do today- having lunch with Mike.

I sighed as I flung my legs over the side of the guest bed. I immediately saw the phone on the night stand. I'd have to call Edward regardless- but as I was conscious now, I was wondering if I really should tell Edward about Mike…

Was there really a need to? Now that I was fully awake, and not slightly groggy or fuzzy minded from late at night or too early in the morning- I found myself thinking it all over again. But then I shook all those thoughts out- of course I had to tell Edward. Mike was too close to him. They were on the same tour for gosh sakes. Edward surely recognized who he was the other night when he whistled at me- seeing Mike with me at the concert in the next city without me mentioning it to him would look completely bad. Totally shady. I could see it now- how twisted it would look to someone who didn't know any better. Edward would surely see Mike, the one who so publicly appreciated my looks the other night in the form of a whistle, and me together- me, seemingly taking advantage of the effect I now knew I had on Mike. Ugh, it was such a terribly looking situation. I had to tell the truth. There was NO WAY I was going to let Edward get a misconception. Mike was nothing. This was simply out of courtesy. That was definitely all it was ever going to be and I would let Edward know that…

But even still- I could tell Edward the truth, be completely straight forward with him- but that didn't mean he would react positively. That didn't mean his reaction would be convenient for me. What if Edward decided it was all just too confusing and complicated and not worth it? I slightly panicked at that thought- but I had to tell myself it would be okay.

I got out of bed and hit the caller ID button until I saw the name Edward Cullen on the screen and pressed the talk button.

I took deep breaths to steady and calm myself, I needed my voice to sound even- even though it already seemed shaky to me with nerves and dread. I just wished I wouldn't have to go through the situation at all- why did another person even have to be involved? Why couldn't it just be Edward and me? I sighed as I heard a "Hello."

"Uh, hello? Edward?" I asked, suddenly wide awake and alerted, even more than before.

"Yeah, Bella?" his tone sounded like a mixture between surprised and hopeful and wondering all at the same time.

"Yeah, it's me. Good morning." I smiled. I'd have to tell him the news in a moment anyway, but that didn't stop me from pretending to have a normal, pleasant conversation with him now.

"Good morning, Bella. Did you sleep well?" he sounded wistful, sincere… almost as if the sound of my voice caused him peace, happiness… I didn't know how to describe it. It was beyond my understanding and comprehension.

"Mmhm…. Although I admit, I tossed and turned a little bit later on into the night- or early morning I should say…." I teased, wondering if he would catch on.

"Why?" I could almost picture his puzzled expression now, brows puckered together in question, misunderstanding. It was adorable.

Then it seemed to click in his head.

"I'm sorry- was it because I called and woke you?"

I laughed, "Yes. But it wasn't a bad thing. I was just too glad you called and made it into the next city okay to go right back asleep… no harm done."

He chuckled in the way only his velvety voice could. "Oh I see… that makes me feel a lot better then."

"It should." I retorted. Edward laughed again and this time I joined him.

"So… you're calling me now…" he started, his voice trailing off slightly suggestively, "please tell me that means what I think it means-"

"And what do you think it does?" I couldn't help my wistful smile at the thought of him, at his words, everything- even though I knew I was going to have to disappoint him…

"That you've agreed to come and see me for the day- while we're still here. We've only got on more night in the state you know…" he threatened, playfully, but in his undertone I could tell there was a hint of regret, of dread to his voice and I couldn't deny I didn't feel that weight either.

"Well…" I heaved a sigh, Edward could already tell there was a problem with my answer. "While your suspicions aren't entirely false… there's something I have to do first. There's something I have to… explain to you…"

**EPOV**

"Oh?" I asked, an eyebrow raised up, my tone seeping with confused interest. I cleared my throat, settling my nerves and suspicions. I had no idea what it was- it could be anything really at this point, especially so early into knowing her, seeing her…

My mind flashed back to when I saw her the night before. When I had asked her about previous boyfriends- what if she wasn't currently single? What if she was between guys? Me and someone else? What if someone she's known longer came back… and she decided to go his way instead of mine? It all sounded very possible. I had forgot to even clarify for sure she was available- I just sort of… assumed. It was easy to get that idea, with how easily she excepted my date invitations, even asking me to call her… what if she was going back to a previous boyfriend? Or…

I sighed. I had to get out of my own thoughts and listen to Bella now. It couldn't be as bad as I was making it out to be… but if it were one of those situations that would be…. Fair. Quite fair. I had barely met her. But I wanted her. Surely that counted for something? But if she chose to leave, to back off maybe- I wasn't entirely sure I could let her go… but if her happiness and comfort all depended on it- then maybe. Maybe. Just maybe… I might be able to let go of my selfishness and let her leave. Before either one of us got even more attached. After all, it was all still so new. It was a toss up in the air really. Right now we had an equal chance of making this work as much as we had at letting it fade and go away…

(but even as I thought that, my internal self argued back against my thoughts- somewhere deep inside in my unconscious- I knew Bella and I had a far better chance than any other couples at our level at making things work. That's just how much I wanted her, the connection I felt. This inexplicable pulling towards her, every inch of her all the way down to the call of her blood, to her deepest insides and intellect, my body was pulled by magnetic forces from every fiber of my being.)

I unclouded my mind to realize Bella was stammering nervously on the other line, trying to put what she needed to say in the best words. I sighed again, letting my eyes shut for a split second to collect myself.

"What is it Bella? I'm sure it's… fine." I muttered.

"Edward…" she breathed apologetically. I wanted to reach out and console her, I wished I could read her expressions right now. Was it apologetic towards me? Remorseful? Regretful?

"Bella."

"Well… I just have to tell you everything. I want it to make sense- even though it's completely insane and random and out of nowhere, it just hit me and there was nothing I could really do…" I noticed she babbled on and on when she got nervous. I was patient with her, but her bantering was making me anxious…

"Okay, Bella, that's fine, just tell me…" I urged gently.

"I um… well Alice and Jasper yesterday, well, they met a tour guy yesterday at the concert and kind of struck a deal…" she started.

I listened quietly as she proceeded to tell me the story. Never once interrupting. She sounded troubled by the whole situation. By the time she was finished explaining, I exhaled slowly, evenly…

There was a pause between us that was dense over the phone line.

"Edward?" she asked, meekly, scared.

"So-" I cut her off, "What you're saying is, I have to wait for you while you go on a date with another guy…" I closed my eyes, trying to will the headache that was already coming on away.

"Edward!" she pleaded, I immediately regretted speaking so harshly so soon. I really wasn't angry with her- just frustrated that it was just my luck- I find the one girl I'm actually attracted to and of course- there's someone wanting to take her away. There had to be something setting us back. I couldn't just have her. Of course not. It wasn't enough I'd been basically solitary all these years aside from family- no. I couldn't have it too easy, now. The universe wouldn't allow that for Edward Cullen. I huffed impatiently and exasperated at the thought.

"I know, Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap- I have no right really to be so… well, I guess the word for it would be- jealous, or over bearing, or… protective of you. We've only been on one date, ourselves it's just… well... I'm sorry, Bella." I admitted, I sighed again, feeling disappointed. I was sitting on the dirt ground outside of her bus, watching the early morning people walk around. I picked up pieces of dirt and small rocks up in the dust beneath me as I listened to her on the other line- I felt… disappointed, yeah. And just a little bit resentful someone else had managed to squeeze into the picture. I even felt a small sense of surrender- not exactly defeat, because I knew she didn't want this. She wanted me (I hope, right?). It wasn't her fault.

"Edward, what are you saying?" she asked suddenly, an energy surging through her, alerting her with a small sense of panic.

My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Are you saying- it's too much to be bothered with? Do you just… want to forget about us?"

I froze, shocked she had gotten that impression from me- "No! No!" I urged hurriedly, "No, not at all that's not what I'm saying I'm just saying… it sucks, Bella. I mean, I understand you feel like he deserves a thank you or something- but I just don't think… guys like that are as noble as they try to come off as… I don't think you owe him anything." I finally blurted, not caring if I was being too blunt or bold, even rude maybe-

"Edward…" she sighed, "how can you think that?" she asked tentatively.

"Why?" I asked back.

"I wouldn't have met you otherwise. Do you not see that?"

"Well then let me be the one to _thank_ him, _n_ot you." my tone was harsh, demanding, anger filled.

Bella let out a light, soft giggle on the other end of the line that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end- I could imagine that same exact giggle in a naughtier situation…. But at the same moment I couldn't believe she was laughing at this, laughing at me! Finding humor in this somewhere- but at the same time, I was half irritated, and half turned on and liked the fact she didn't find me intimidating even when I meant to be. Like she could handle me. I liked that…

I groaned and her soft, musical laughter died down until I could no longer hear it at all…

"Edward- you know if I could go straight to you- not have to deal with this Mike business- whether its rightfully owed or not- I would… you know I would…" she insisted, her voice lowering in tone and volume to something more meaningful.

"Do I, now?" I challenged.

"Yes…" she answered, not playing into my anger and choosing to ignore it, "You mean you don't know I obviously prefer you? Over anyone? That I'd choose you first to see today if I had the chance…"

I allowed a small, hesitant small to creep onto my face solemnly as I contemplated that thought. I wasn't sure. I guess I was just looking for explicit approval from her. On our date, she hadn't initiated much- but she hadn't shied away from anything I imposed either. But still- I couldn't help but wonder about it. I only sighed heavily, the only thing she heard was my breathing.

"Edward?" she questioned.

"Hm?"

"I'm…" she trailed off, not knowing what to say, I could picture her now: struggling to find the right words, sorting it over in her thoughts, debating.

"It's okay Bella. I'll wait for you."

There, I had said it. I'd wait for her. The phrase seemed to ring true for any situation- not just the obvious one put before us with today and Mike…

If she needed time, if we needed to take it slow, if I needed to take it slow- waiting could be done. It was possible.

But then my thoughts shot to something else- with us, with Bella and I- I already knew 'waiting' was inevitable. I was on tour. I wouldn't be home- Chicago- for at least three more months… if we wanted this, we'd have to wait for each other.

The thought… saddened me. Why did the word 'waiting' suddenly feel so lonely? So sad, so depressing… it seemed to take on a new connotation in the moment I thought all these things.

Even when I did get back home- Chicago was awfully far from Bella's home state of Washington… how would we weather then?

I would wait, but not that long. Sooner or later, someone would have to cave. Most likely me. I could wait in the emotional sense, romantically, mentally, relationship wise- but I couldn't wait where actually seeing her was involved. When the tour was over, or during it, I'd have to fly her out- at least a couple times if not more. I wouldn't be able to bear waiting in between visits very long while I was away.

I shook my head of all these thoughts though, going back to the present. I was getting so far ahead of myself into the future that it was dizzying.

Let's take it one step at a time…

She let out a breath of relief. "Thank you Edward. I swear, it's nothing. It means nothing. I mean, you know him right?"

"Yeah," I grumbled, remembering Mike's face in my memory. He wasn't a terrible guy- just now he was suddenly vile and utterly repulsing. I wanted to vomit at the sight or mention of him. I wanted him nowhere near or even looking at Bella. I was there first. She was mine. Hell, even if I weren't there first, even if Mike had met her before me, I'd still probably try to take her. But then I rolled my eyes at myself- there really was no way of telling for sure what I'd do if things had gone differently than how they had- it was just the anger and frustration thinking in me. Just the resent for Mike that made images in my brain of me sweeping Bella away from him angrily, almost completely hostilely, absolutely enraged he had dared to even go near her…

"Then you know you have nothing to worry about." I could hear the smile in her voice. I allowed myself a genuine smile too.

"Bella- you're just too good for your own good… you know that? Any one else would've said- to hell with 'im." I grinned, she laughed. It was a beautiful sound.

We laughed a moment longer, until I couldn't keep myself from asking…

"Bella, you really can't just… forget about it? Do you really think… you need to?" I cautioned. I didn't want to sound like a broken record, repeating over and over in her head to forget him- to just be with me. I didn't want to be possessive or anything like that at all. It wasn't my place. Bella deserved better than that, and frankly so did our relationship. It didn't need to be clouded by my jealous bouts.

"I know you don't see it, but I really think I do." she said wistfully. "If you could only see it the way I do- I…. I wouldn't have met you otherwise, Edward, that's all it keeps coming back down to…. Even though the situation doesn't really involve you- my mind makes it all about you. I wouldn't have known you or even spoke to you if it weren't for Mike."

"…who was really just looking to gain for himself…" I grumbled under my breath.

Bella laughed, and my thoughts went back to what she said before- her mind making it all about me. So in a way, she was doing it just… because.. Of me? Did that make sense? Intolerable. Mike was…. Disgusting. She shouldn't have to bear that. I could make good on my word and thank him personally myself… no doubt there I'd make sure he'd get the message. I could be- polite when need be. Cordial even.

"Well then, Bella… I'll meet you as soon as you're done-" I couldn't bring myself to say 'with Mike' or 'on your date.' the words 'date' and 'Bella' shouldn't be used unless I was somewhere in that context too.

"Thank you Edward. For being understanding and actually making this tolerable for me.

"Anything for you, Bella."

I could almost feel her blush over the phone.

"I'll see you later."

"I'm looking forward to it more than you know."

"Oh, I think I can relate."

That made me smile, really smile. She was such a genuine, good, caring, considerate person. I could already tell. It fascinated me really. I felt compelled to let her good qualities rub off on me. She left me in awe already so frequently I wasn't sure what was left for us…

Well, there was a lot left for us…

All of it starting the second she left Mike and came back to me.

**Review please! it's been a while i know, i was on vacation... and i have school stuff to do- but i'm going to try and update both my stories at least once a week...but please review and let me know how this is going- how was the Edward POV? Thank guys, let me know.**


	15. Chapter 15

_Well I got a feeling_

_I don't deserve this_

_But I won't preserve it_

_I won't desert it_

_And I got a feeling_

_I don't deserve this_

_But I won't preserve it_

_I won't desert it_

_I'm yours_

**Edward**

The afternoon came quickly. We were finished with our set- so unfortunately that left me an absolute mess with way too much free time on my hands. I kept glancing around every which way- as if Mike would sashay in with Bella on his arm any minute. The whole situation just had me feeling antsy. Bella hadn't given me specific details, so I could only imagine or guess what she was doing now. Was she still getting ready? Was she barely meeting him now? Was the date finally over? No… I should only be so lucky…

I sipped on the drink Rose got me through a straw- keeping an eye out for a particular mahogany haired beauty and the slime ball that would surely be attached to her…

I stayed away from the festival crowd- spending my time isolating myself back by the buses. Emmett and Rose came and went as they pleased, holding hands as they left our bus for the third time today and set off to check out some of the other things the festival had to offer.

I was too caught up in worried thoughts about Bella to notice the time go by again- when I looked up from my pacing, Rose was with me, her yellow blonde hair shining in the sun that managed to seep through the clouds.

Her eyes were narrowed, suspicion written clearly on her face.

"What, Rose?" I asked, albeit, a little impatiently… but I had a lot of other things on my mind.

"I saw your little lady friend…" she started off, slowly, taunting me with her words- and yet she seemed like she was holding something back… an emotion. Anger?

I froze in my tracks, my eyes slightly wide waiting for what she was going to say. "Yes?" I breathed, when she didn't continue right away.

"Why didn't you tell us?" she demanded.

"Tell you what??…Is anything in my life really any of your business?"

"She's with that Newton guy… gross. What's up with that? Is she just making her rounds with all the guys on tour? Is Emmett next??" Rose quirked an accusing eyebrow.

"HEY! Don't talk about her that way!" I yelled, turning to face her.

"You're defending her!? You knew about this, didn't you??" her eyes were wide now, with shock. I looked away, not wanting to meet her judging eyes.

"Why Edward?! You should've just put your foot down! Told her- listen _bitch_-"

"_Rose_…"

"_Listen_… if we're going to get to know each other- if you're thinking about starting something- then let's get this straight- we see no one but each _other_…"

"ROSE!" I protested louder this time, borderline furious with her, "Yes, I knew, and Bella already told me about it. It's just a lunch date- it's not what it looks like. She isn't using me and she isn't using him-"

"Doesn't look that way-"

"Rose- please…I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?" she challenged. I straightened up so I could tower over her, but I should've known Rose wasn't one to be intimidated.

"…Yes." I finally choked out- looking furious and irritated- but I knew she noticed the small pause before I answered.

"Edward- don't get so upset- it's just… Emmett and I know…"

"No you don't!" I cut her off, pulling at my hair as I stormed away from her. Rose followed behind me, still shouting up into my ears as she followed me right on my heels.

"We know you don't have a lot of experience in this- and so that's why you may not be able to recognize something for what it is-"

"ROSALIE!" I bellowed, warning her now. I didn't want to hear it! I wasn't stupid.

I wasn't stupid.

I wasn't stupid.

I wasn't stupid.

Bella told me the truth. We already had that conversation. She wasn't a liar. She wasn't a cheater. She wasn't like all the other man eaters out there or twenty something year old party girls- Bella was Bella. One of a kind. She wouldn't… do that to me.

Me. Her favorite…singer… in her favorite… band….. She wouldn't… use me…

Would she?

No!

I had to yell at myself in my head at that last word- already Rose was getting to my mind and making me doubt and she knew nothing! Wasn't it just the other night she was on Bella's side against Tanya? But that was before Rose saw whatever she saw today with Bella to make her change her mind. What did Rose see?….

Was there a reason she was treating me like I was blind? Like I was stupid? Missing the point? I stayed quiet- letting Rose talking, but trying to stay on even ground- not letting Bella's last words to me this morning or Rose's words now sway my thinking entirely. I had to be in the middle so I could see clearly…

"The thing is, Edward… you don't just… hang out with someone else- here- when you were just on a date with another guy on the very same tour-" Rose paused, her tone softening into reasoning and sympathy. "Has she said hi to you today? Have you seen her? Has she called you?…. No. if Mike was really nothing- then why would she even allow this? Why would she stay away from you while she was with him? Why does she need to hide?"

"It's not like that Rose… She already explained to me. She's only with him- on a _lunch date_-" I spat the word like it was offensive, "because he gave her friends a tip on where they could take Bella to meet us, and in exchange her friends said they agreed to telling Bella to go on a date with him… Bella feels obligated for some insane, illogical reason but she does- and she feels like she's doing the right thing… and so I thought I'd let her get it off her conscience. Whatever makes her happy." I shrugged, feeling worse with having to retell the story out loud.

Rose didn't seem convinced. She seemed more… sorry for me, strangely enough.

"All I know Edward- regardless, if she's a nice girl or not- why deal with it? Why play these stupid games when you could have someone who's just for you? No hesitations, nothing meaningless in the way. How hard is it to buy the guy a thank you card? _Fuck._ No need to make a date of it." Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. I felt like I was being scolded.

"You don't deserve this."

My eyes shot up and I looked at her. All seriousness was in her expression. My breathing was deep and even- as I thought over her last statement…

I didn't deserve this? Deserve what exactly?

And as if to answer my question- Rose spoke it for me, "You've been alone long enough- I just think… you shouldn't have to stress over something when it's so new, when it's been so soon… I mean, for someone you've just met- why bother?"

I sighed, and thought about asking her- if Emmett had done this in the beginning of their relationship- would she have followed the same advice? But I decided against it. This wasn't about anyone but me and Bella- Mike too maybe, but I think he just stood for something in general, he wasn't really apart of this personally.

"You're right. I don't deserve this."

Rose's eyes shot up at my words, her expression anxious, wondering if she'd convinced me.

"But I won't hold it against her. I won't do that to Bella. She doesn't deserve _that_. As far as relationships and exclusiveness goes- maybe you're right. Maybe I should have just put my foot down instead of doing just whatever made her happy- but I won't hold it against Bella. It's not her fault. She meant well- even if she genuinely couldn't see through Mike to know a 'thank you' date wasn't really what he was after."

"So what are you going to do?" Rose whispered. I realized we had made it to the edge of the field where it met the dirt parking lot- right on the edge of the festival grounds.

"I'm going to go get Bella."

Rose's eyebrows shot up, surprised, and maybe even a little disapproving.

"But first- you have to tell me what you saw of her today."

**Bella**

I sighed as I got up to get ready. I wasn't nervous for the date at all. It just goes to show you how all men were basically dead to me if they weren't Edward. The new motto in my head chanted- No bronze hair, green eyes, don't care.

There was only one person who fit that description perfectly- and I couldn't wait to get this Mike thing over with and get right back to him.

Edward.

Alice and I consulted what I should wear. I told her I didn't want to look too good for Mike- but I would be seeing Edward later during the day… Alice agreed and so we went to work on that little dilemma.

We decided on a jean skirt and casual, vintage band t-shirt that fit me perfectly. It was a faded black, with white three-quarter sleeves that reached the crease in my elbows. Alice straightened my hair and that was it.

Not too much later, I was leaving Jasper's place for my "date."

I scoffed as I remembered Mike asking me if I could find my own ride there. Already- he was so much different from Edward, but I tried not to resent him for it or be offended. After all, going up against Edward wasn't really fair competition.

Once I got there- Mike called me on the cell phone and told me to meet him at a food tent. So I did. I ate light since I knew we would be outside all day in the sun and surrounded by tons of people and in thick crowds. I didn't want to end up sick or queasy. That didn't stop Mike from stuffing his face though.

God, the date couldn't go by quick enough!

We were currently standing in a crowd, waiting for the band to go on. I had no idea what band though. The crowd in front of the stage was getting pushy and even more populated the closer to show time it got. Mike was pushed behind me, and it was hard not to brush up against somebody or have no touching at all- so I didn't hold it against him when I felt a few bumps here and there… but I quickly realized he was only taking advantage of the situation as I felt his hands rest on my waist.

From the jam packed crowd, he was forced to stand slightly behind me- which made it worse as the only way we could really talk was if he spoke in my ear, his face nearly in the crook of my neck between my shoulder. It was way too intimate. I hadn't even felt Edward's hands on me- not like this. And not as much, for so long, too…

I rolled my eyes and pretended I could no longer hear him over all the people or the sound check that was going on so he wouldn't have to lean in so close to me.

As I watched a worker tested the lead singer's guitar and microphone onstage. It made me immediately think of Edward. I missed him. How I wished I could spend time with him instead of wasting it on the fool behind me…

That thought made me laugh.

We watched the band finally come on and play. They were alright. I was really disinterested in basically everything just because it was Mike spending it with me instead of a certain bronze haired man…

Mike was starting to get annoying. He was acting as if he had the hook up for everything on tour, just because he was showing me around and had given the tip for Alice and Jasper to meet the band in the first place.

For the next band's set, we decided to stay back a little. We sat in some shade on a patch of dry grass. Mike bought me a water and we chatted casually as the music played. I watched the people all around- on alert for Edward. I wondered if he'd secretly pop in somewhere, just to give a wink or a smile and be gone- all under Mike's nose. I should only be so lucky.

I got up to stand, feeling restless all of a sudden, probably because my body knew I was wasting time here. Was this the last day they'd be in state? No… I could swear Edward said they had 2 nights left here, this was only the first one. We had one more. Ugh. But why was I wasting precious time here!? With Mike? No. I had to end this now. I couldn't even stand it any longer. We had lunch and then some. It should be over.

I sighed and brushed off dirt and grass from my bottom before I looked down to Mike on the ground. I hadn't expected his gaze to be nowhere near my face…

"You missed a spot." he grinned from where he was sitting- no doubt getting a better look from below…. And before I could protest- his hand shot up and swatted my butt. Spanked it really. My eyes widened and I stepped away from him- but then the anger got the better of me- I went back to him and kneed him in the back and attempted to kick him, using his low position to my advantage. Mike coughed from the kneeing, but started wheezing out laughter. Apparently my objective defenses were amusing to him…

I scowled down at him, but he just grinned.

"Calm down!" he exclaimed in between laughter, wrapping his arms high up on one of my legs. I attempted to shake him off.

"Stop Mike. I have to leave now."

"Really??" he cut off all humor on his face. He stood up, not bothering to brush the dead grass and dirt off him. "Aw…Bella…"

"I mean it. I honestly have to go." I insisted. I tried to lessen the angry look on my face- whatever it took to get out of here faster…

"Alright… I had a great time." he smirked.

I only smiled back and allowed him to hug me. I wasn't about to say anything- either a lie or the truth. A lie would be me saying I had a great time too, the truth would be me saying he was absolutely repulsive. Too… clingy. I needed to breathe.

I allowed Mike his lingering hug- but that was it. He attempted to give me a peck on the lips- but I turned just in time for him to get my cheek.

"Bye Mike."

"Bye… maybe I'll see you around… if that band boy if yours starts to bore you when you're with him on tour- I'm sure you'll know where to find me…"

I chuckled lightly, it was more of a nervous airy laugh than anything, "Yeah, sure Mike… don't call me, I'll call you!" I kind of teased- but in my head I was screaming MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT CALL ME!

And then I turned around, about to roll my eyes at his stupidity- when I saw a familiar blonde look me straight in the eyes.

I froze. Rosalie. She was with Emmett. No Edward in sight.. But still… Crap. This must look wrong to her… what if Edward hadn't told her about my little thing with Mike? That it was perfectly ok, that we had discussed it already…

No, of course not. Why would he tell her?

Ugh. I sighed. Just my luck. I would end up looking shady today no matter what I did.

Rosalie leaned into Emmett, and without breaking eye contact with me, whispered something to him from behind her hand.

I took a deep breath to call out to them- but they were already walking away. Damn it! I wasn't fast enough…

Surely she would go and tell Edward-

But I relaxed myself a little bit- telling Edward would do her no good. Ha. I beat her to it. I was so thankful now that I had told him the truth- because sure enough something stupid, something misleading like this would try and get in the way for us.

But with Mike gone, and Rosalie off to tattle on me to Edward (which I don't blame her for doing, don't get me wrong) I was all alone on the tour.

I stood around, looking around…. Trying not to get in anyone's way.

As I dodged different bodies, trying to make my way in the opposing crowd, I hit a solid, tall figure that sent me staggering back a step.

"Whoops, sorry, Miss. Didn't see you there…" said a voice, whose big hands were now keeping me standing by gripping my shoulders. I blinked a few times. What was with strange people and touching me today? Couldn't anyone respect my own personal bubble anymore? Of all places too! With the guy of my dreams wandering around anywhere to see and risk getting the wrong idea!

I looked up at the face of the voice. A young, russet skinned boy- although he was huge. He grinned down at me- and I could tell from his vibe immediately he was ten times better than Mike.

"You should be careful, you'll get lost in the crowd and they'll pull you away." he smiled.

"Ha." I scoffed. I looked him over real quick- he was wearing the same t-shirt as some of the other young people near a booth…. And I realized he was apart of that booth, advertising or spreading some kind of message… the boy noticed me trying to figure it out-

"We're a festival sponsor. Our booth helps raise awareness about the environment and the surrounding forests… Would you like a t-shirt??" he piped up at the chance to give away free things and the opportunity to talk about the cause. I laughed.

"No thanks, not right now… maybe later… if I'm back again." I thought, hopefully I will be back again… with Edward. Hopefully I'm back so many times I'll be able to see and listen to every single booth at this festival! Hopefully he'll keep me around…

**Edward**

Rosalie had proceeded to tell me what she saw of Bella as we walked at a furiously fast pace through the crowd. I ignored any fan's shout for an autograph or random yells of "HEY! I LOVE THAT GUY!" and kept my eyes pealed for Bella.

According to Rosalie, she had witnessed Bella with Mike's hands wrapped around one of her legs, dangerously close to her thigh in the jean skirt she was wearing. I ignored the image of Bella in a skirt to focus on the more important things…

His filthy hands on here- where I hadn't even been yet, at that! It was wrong on so many levels. The worse recollection and image Rose managed to pop into my head was Mike smacking Bella on the butt. I was fairly confident though in my knowledge of Bella so far to know she wasn't that way… it was all a misunderstanding. My life was all about misunderstandings at the moment.

I was pulled out of my angry, concentrated thoughts of pummeling Mike and finding Bella when Rosalie gasped-

"There she is!"

"Where?!"

I turned to look- and we were both dumb founded at what we saw. One of the environmental activists with a "GO GREEN" t-shirt had his huge paws on Bella's shoulders, smiling down on her.

My eye brows furrowed in confusion- but I was level headed enough to calm the over protective beast inside of me… Bella was a good girl. Right? Right. No doubt about it…

"That's not Mike Newton..." Rosalie whispered beside me. I let out an involuntary hiss. Way to state the obvious…

I took a deep breath and in one stride, stepped out into the crowd towards Bella and the mystery boy. He was obviously younger than her- that was a good thing. I had to stop- I had to get all the voices out of my head- well, mainly Rose, and my own reason of doubt- and focus on what I knew. Bella and I had a connection we couldn't deny. There was no reason to worry or be jealous.

And so I wouldn't be. I wasn't some control freak- never was- in any aspect of my life. Life was about compromises…

I stepped up to Bella and her new acquaintance. Clearing my throat, I looked from one to the other with a calm, understanding smile on my face.

The boy looked surprised at the new addition to their little meeting, but he seemed to recognize me from the tour- I had to admit, I had never seen him before in the months we've already been on this thing…

Bella's head slowly turned until her eyes fell upon me. There was a brief pause- as if she needed a moment to register my presence- but then all was well….

"EDWARD!" she gasped, and jumped high enough so she could fling her arms around my neck. I laughed into her hair and caught her, wrapping my arms around her middle and clutching her tight to my chest. Her feet didn't touch the ground as I held her at my eye level.

"Did you miss me today?" I had to ask, a teasing grin on my face.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't even make me answer that question, you already know!" and with that, her lips pecked kisses all over my face and I couldn't stop smiling.

Not until did I hear someone clear their throat suggestively (probably Rose) did Bella pull her face away from mine, blushing, but I didn't release her. I merely held onto her weight as Bella leaned her face away from mine as much as she could in order to explain herself…

"Edward, Rose…. This is Jake, he's a volunteer here on tour for the Go Green booth."

Jake smiled and lifted a hand to wave. I nodded in his direction, friendly enough. I was immediately glad Rose and I had merely overreacted to the sight of him and Bella. I had to admit, it made me rethink everything Rose had told me… it almost made me rethink myself… it almost made me rethink Bella!

That was a feeling I never cared to repeat.

When we left Jacob back to his work, Rose mysteriously walked off, leaving Bella and I alone… finally.

I held her hand as we walked on the outskirts of the festival grounds where it was quieter.

I looked to the side, watching in awe as the wind whipped her hair around her face, as she threaded a silky, soft strand behind her ear, out of her chocolate brown eyes… I analyzed how our hands looked intertwined. We looked more like a couple that had been together for… an indefinite amount of time- not only known each other for days- 2 very little days…

_Only two days??_ I repeated to myself, there was no way…. Impossible. But sure enough, Bella had only come into my life 2 days before.

There was something I had to get out of the way. Something I had to get off my chest, out of my mind, away from my worries….

"Bella…" I started.

She looked up at me, silent, but waiting, her deep brown pools for eyes were curious, but she seemed as if I had pulled her out of her own blissful moment with her thoughts.

"Today… Well, there was a lot of talking going on today, and a lot of thinking…"

"Mmhm."

"Rose… had mentioned something to me…she said how, I don't deserve…" I paused, to take a breath and mull over my words… I shook my head, "how we don't deserve.. We don't need all this trouble, complicating forces. I just want it to be just you and me… I just… don't want any misunderstandings," I grinned at the word, stopping to face her and take both of her hands in mine. Bella smiled up at me like I was the sweetest thing in the world- if only that were true. I wanted to be great for her. Like she was for me. I wanted her to realize the potential we had together like I did.

"Edward… what are you trying to say?" she squeezed my hands in her dainty ones, urging me on.

"That I'm yours."

And so that's how we became exclusive. By magnetic forces I was drawn to her, and by a force greater than one I've ever known, I stayed tied to her. Only her.

**Sorry, I was off reading Breaking Dawn! Anyway, schools gonna be starting and I gotta write 2 essays and read 2 books for it! damn…. But for now, please review! Let me know what you thought of this chapter. It was inspired by a song, 'Magnetic Forces' by Castledoor. That's where the lyrics are from at the beginning of the chapter, listen to it on their myspace! Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't… but I hope you liked this chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella**

It was a sigh of relief to be back with Edward. Although this was only our second date, and it was all so new, to be separated from him for any amount of time was just exhausting! Draining really. Positively draining- the kind that drains all the good mood, happy feelings out of you and makes the entire day worthless.

Yep. That's exactly how it was.

Especially now.

"_That I'm yours." _kept ringing in my head, every moment of silence, it would somehow float into my mind and I would remember how blissfully happy and lucky I was.

I could still remember the exact sound of his voice in that very moment. The perfect velvet tone sounding all that much more better because of the sincerity ringing true in his words.

To be exclusive with Edward was…. Incomprehensible. There's no way…

I found myself laughing at the absurdity. It was too good to be true- but sure enough- it had happened…

I wasn't dreaming. And I hadn't been dreaming when I told him I would comply with his request I see no one else as long as we were still seeing each other. It was a relief to finally have some sort of … not label… but understanding to what we were, to how things would be. No more misunderstandings or misconceptions!

That was the best part.

Well, almost the best part…

Edward held my hand as the sun set, dusk. The festival was still going but it was quieter now, cooler and more relaxed.

He didn't speak, but he seemed content, and I was content just to watch him as we walked. The golden glow of the sun setting illuminating his features, I analyzed his profile as he looked ahead out into the horizon. The perfect curve between his forehead and his nose- which was a straight, perfectly carved slope, that dipped temptingly into his top lip, set just right in proportion to the bottom one, and then the masculine, yet soft, almost graceful way his chin and jaw were cut. His green eyes were currently squinting into the sun. I followed his line of sight, he seemed to be looking into the distance at the tour buses, a vast parking lot away from where we walked. I gulped. The buses looked like they were loading up…

They'd be leaving soon. They were already starting to pack up for the next city- the last city they'd be in the state…

I wondered how much farther it was from my home, how much farther from the city we were in now…. Would Edward invite me out to go see him again? It seemed natural, right? If he was serious about being exclusive, then that seemed like a logical thing to ask. I didn't even want to dwell on what would happen next. I knew I'd have to wait for him, but how long would he take? Would I be able to get off work and leave home to visit him for a few days at a time while he was on the road?

I really didn't want to think about it. It made a nervous, anxious knot tie up in my stomach just wondering about it. All I could do was enjoy the time I had now. While I still could…

Breaking the silence, Edward sighed, longingly it seemed. He brought his other hand to cover over mine already wrapped in his other. When he turned to look at me, he attempted a smile, but it came out more sad and sorry than I bet he intended it to be. I smiled back happily like I hadn't noticed his mood change, like I didn't know what he was thinking, and that I was wondering and thinking the same thing.

Then suddenly, his mood seemed to change again. His eyes wandered my face, and he took a step closer, his hold on my hand tightening. I couldn't move and my brain couldn't function to know what he was attempting…

When his face was close enough to mine, his eye lids were half lidded and his lips slightly parted, I could feel the pull I had towards them. So without thinking, I began to lean in too…

I wondered if this was going to be the kiss he wanted a day ago, when he dropped me off at home at night. And I wondered if I wanted to give it to him just yet…

I decided no. I still needed to make sure we'd see each other another time.

So at the very last second, I ducked away with a soft smile playing on my lips- I had to bite down to keep from laughing. I heard Edward's exasperated gust of breath. I couldn't move far- since his hands still held mine, but I was short enough on him to duck under his chin- perfectly out of reach. I smiled against the skin on his neck, and I could almost feel him roll his eyes in annoyance- but for some reason I got a great joy out of it.

"Aw… don't seem so disappointed, Edward." I chided. He snorted, but nonetheless, he brought a hand up to play loosely with the ends of my hair that fell on my back.

"I am disappointed!" he exclaimed, a mixture of humor and frustration. "I bet I'm the only guy who doesn't get to kiss his-"

I stood still- frozen at what he was about to say….

Kiss his what? Girlfriend? Was he going to say girlfriend? Being exclusive meant boyfriend and girlfriend right? Sheesh. I was going crazy with all these titles and names and questions… but with Edward- he was just too good, too unbelievable. He'd have to be so explicit and clear for me to get the hint and take it. I was still reeling over the whole 'exclusive' thing and even being here in the first place, in his arms…

Just a few days ago- he was only a figure. My favorite singer in my favorite band. Now… I hardly even saw that anymore. He was just Edward. So suddenly and quick- he was just Edward.

Huh.

Damn, I was lucky.

Edward's voice was cut off though- by the loud, blaring ring tone of my phone. I cringed.

"Sorry…" I mumbled, as I pulled my hands away from his to answer it- but suddenly, it stopped ringing.

"Oh!" I muttered, surprised. Edward's eyebrows were raised then dropped in a second.

"Oh well…" he shrugged, and pulled me to his chest again. "where were we?" he muttered in my ear. I laughed breathlessly, I was so tight against him it was like I could barely breathe. But I liked it that way. "I will get that kiss, Bella…"

"No you won't."

"I won't?! Do you want to bet on that?" he shot, a little incredulously. The sight made me laugh.

"Ha… well, these _are _my lips… and I'm pretty sure there's no Edward Cullen scheduled for them anytime soon…"

He tilted his head back and laughed loud. Louder than I'd ever heard him before. My smile broadened just watching him. He was so beautiful. Such a magnificent creature. No wonder he drew crowds…

"you're assuming I won't just take it." he grinned a crooked smile.

I gasped in mock horror, "you wouldn't!"

"I'm not above it…." he trailed off suggestively, "So I guess you'd better watch your back… or rather, those pretty little li-"

His voice was cut off- again. Drowned out by a loud yell, an excited yell….

A loud, excited yell of my name….

"Bella!" came the voice that could only be Alice. I heard her before I saw her. I turned to where Edward was looking over my shoulder, and he took a step back from me. I dropped his hands to meet Alice half way.

"Alice!" I smiled back.

"And Jasper." Jasper added with a smirk. I laughed.

"Hey. What are you guys doing here?"

"well we just thought you could use the ride home… or, I don't know. Mainly, we just wanted to see how things went. And that you were still alive in one piece." Alice beamed.

"Oh. Ok." my spirits dropped just a bit at the sound of home…

Where Edward wasn't.

"So…?" Jasper mumbled, looking over me and staring at Edward, as if he could analyze the situation just from the sight of him.

"Oh. Yeah. Edward…" I remembered, and I walked Alice and Jasper to him. Edward was standing, looking up at the sky with his hands in his pockets, pretending to mind his own business a little too much and like he wasn't aware of the newcomers and my conversation. I knew he was totally eavesdropping. He was cute though trying to pretend.

"Edward- these our my friends, Alice and her boyfriend Jasper well… I'm sure you remember them. They were at the apartment when you came and picked me up."

Edward turned to us and he grinned at them. "Yeah, of course."

Jasper nodded and Alice had some sort of permanent smile on her face since she got here.

So for the rest of the night- we hung out with Alice and Jasper. All we did was stand on the edge of the parking lot, having a good time and talking and getting to know one another. I watched as Edward interacted with them- completely amazed and excited they seemed to get along so well. It was like he fit in perfectly. And I was just glad our little trio could be an even number of four now- that is, if Edward stuck around. I couldn't wait.

Edward was laid back enough to be good company for Jasper, and had just enough spark to compete with Alice. He fit perfectly among the three of us. It was like he was always meant to be there. Could I be so lucky? Apparently I could.

It was dark now. I could tell Edward was deathly close to having to go- because he kept checking the time only to look up from his watch with an expression of dread and aggravation. I was glad he didn't want to leave me, but sad that it seemed like he was going to have to….

Edward sighed. He was standing behind me, with his chin on the top of my head, his breath fanning my hair, his arms wrapped around my shoulders, my own hands clung to his wrist and forearm, keeping his hold on me. Jasper and Alice were talking- but I don't think either one of us were listening.

While Alice and Jasper were fun- but since they were here, Edward and I couldn't really be alone. There was always company. I felt obligated to always stay with Jasper and Alice on the tour employee grounds since they knew no one else, and Edward stayed when Emmett and Rose came along to meet Jasper and Alice. None of it was awkward- except for the slight sneer I got from Rosalie- but even still. Edward and I were the sort of connecting links to everybody.

And now, he'd be leaving and we hardly got any real time together. Not that I was complaining, any time with Edward was great but…. Well, I'm sure you'd understand…

I turned and saw the buses loading up the last of their equipment. Even Rosalie and Emmett had left us to go to the bus… I had a feeling Edward was riding the edge of being late.

Jasper and Alice shifted away- silently giving the message it was time for us to take off too. Edward cleared his throat from behind me, slowly disentangling himself away. I sighed. Defeated.

"Well…it was good seeing you again, Edward, maybe we'll come out again another day and actually see some of the bands." Jasper said with a nod. Alice's enthusiasm had died down to that of the level any normal person would have- which meant she was tired. She yawned against the back of her hand and ruffled her black pixie cut hair.

"See ya, Edward. Tell Rosalie and Em bye for us." she gave a little wave, which was more like a flick of her wrist.

Edward merely nodded, but his eyes stayed on me. I gazed back, until I just went in for a hug. I inhaled his scent before I let go. I didn't want to do too much- it would only make the night longer and the separation drag out- so I decided to make it quick.

"So, you'll call me in the morning or something?" I asked.

"-Wait." Edward blurted, he seemed urgent. He bit on his lip as he thought of something. I stood anxious and waited…

"Nevermind." he mumbled, and hugged me one more time and let go with a sigh. His eyes dropped to the ground.

"No what?" I urged, staring up at him. I stood on his feet to get a little higher, closer to his face. He softly smiled at that.

"Nothing. I just realized… it's not my place to ask. I'd be inviting myself…"

My brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I just… I don't want the day to end yet. I was thinking, if I could tell Rose and Em to pick me up later- or I don't know, something… if it would be okay if I went with Alice and Jasper to take you home?"

My eyes widened in surprise. I hadn't even thought of that.

Edward took it the wrong way.

"See. Too intrusive. I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow- if you can make it-"

"No!" I interrupted. A little too loudly, I blushed. Edward seemed surprised. "That sounds… wonderful. Why don't you just stay over? And since I'm sure I'd have to drive out to the next city anyway, you could just come with me? We can leave early so you're there by noon. Just tell Emmett and Rose." I stared him in the eyes and waited for his answer. I was pretty sure he wouldn't shoot me down… but if he did, it was because it was probably for the best.

Suddenly, Alice was behind us.

"That sounds great. Now can we go? I'm dead tired here. We'd have no problem driving you guys back, Edward, if you're worried about that…" she smiled tiredly.

"Are you sure? I could pay for gas or something-"

"No, it's fine, man." Jasper said.

"Well, I could at least get you guys in the festival for free."

"That should call it even." Alice nodded.

I then turned back to Edward- smiling and wide eyed in excitement.

"Does that mean you're coming back with me??" I grinned.

"I…. think so…." he grinned the same.

The car ride home was smooth and impeccably quiet. Alice fell asleep in the front seat. Occasionally, Jasper and Edward would talk, but I didn't say anything. I was fine just listening and leaning into Edward's side in the back seat. It was terribly comfortable. I fell asleep twenty minutes before we got back to my place.

I was awoken by a gentle rousing of my shoulder from Edward. Groggily, I looked up and saw that the car door on his side was open. He had one leg out, but couldn't move with me sleeping on him. The sky was a dark, deep navy blue, and the moon was shining white, its light spilling and outlining his figure. I took a deep breath and stretched, already recognizing the familiar forest trees in the background and the driveway to the house.

My dad's car was gone. With his new lady friend (I couldn't bring myself to say girlfriend) which was pretty serious, he would sometimes stay over at her house- a lot of the time actually, since her kids were now grown and she was all by herself. I didn't mind. It made me feel more like I had my own place and not like I was still working at a shitty coffee place to try and scrape up enough money to go to school and get an apartment of my own.

Edward helped me out of the car. We held hands up to the porch step and I grabbed my keys and opened the door. I heard the car engine start up behind me. A look of shock came over my face and horror-

"Don't worry!" Jasper yelled from out the window, "we'll be here bright and early to pick you guys up!" and with that- he sped off.

My breathing picked up ten fold. I was hyper aware of everything. Of every scent, sight, and Edward…

With the sleep, I had forgotten to be nervous Edward was coming to my house….

Going to see my house. See inside. See where I grew up…

See my room.

See my bathroom.

See everything!

What was I thinking!?

I took deep breaths to calm myself, but I felt slightly light headed. Oh god. Please tell me I remembered to pick up the laundry from my room…

I felt tired before- but now- it was like I was wide awake.

I stepped inside and welcomed Edward in- nervous, albeit. He smiled nicely, as if trying to tell me I had no reason to fear, but my mind was working way ahead- where would he sleep? What would be sleep in? what would I sleep in!? Dear god…

I'd have to show in the morning!

Oh… so would he….

That's cool...

_Ugh_! Stop!- I scolded myself for my thoughts. I was over thinking things. Just relax.

I cleared my throat, as if to will away the awkwardness I was feeling.

"I bet you're tired. I'll go put together a bed for you-"

"You're not gonna give me the tour first?" he asked, innocently enough, but I could tell he was being serious. Was he actually curious about the way I lived?

"Uh… if you'd like that. I just assumed you'd be tired." I shrugged, trying to be casual and not on edge of thrilled he might be comfortable enough here in my home. He seemed at ease, perfectly. Nothing phased him. It was as if he'd seen it all before. Not even the cluttered floors, the dark interior, the crooked rug at the foot of the stairs- he didn't care. Usually, in all honestly, the house was pretty clean since I took care of it- but lately, I'd been at Jasper's with Alice, and the house was left to Charlie.

He nodded at my words and I took a deep breath, gathering courage. Regardless of how much of a god like creature he was and outshone the most valuable possession in the house by a longshot, he was still a guest. And he should be treated just as politely.

I took his hand and led him around the house. It was dark inside- just the moonlight from the glass sliding doors shone through and spilled into the living room and kitchen of the first floor.

Then, I led Edward upstairs. I listened to how heavy his footsteps sounded following behind me on the stairs, how much louder and solid they were than my own. I liked it. With his presence there, I felt safer. I felt comfortable- which was odd, because this was my own home…

The hallway was dark, but our eyes quickly adjusted.

I gestured towards the bathroom, showing it to him from the doorway so he'd know if he ever need- then the only other room upstairs besides my own- which was a lame excuse for an office. Then, I had no other choice- I had to take him to my room… but I was stalling and I knew it. I was obvious to avoid the only door that was left to be opened. Edward noticed as I dragged him around, every which way. Each time, he expected it to be next- but I quickly changed his direction. He was cute when he was baffled and clueless- but I could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew I was nervous about it. Scared shitless.

"And uh- here's where the cat sleeps," I sighed, waving towards a corner on the stair landing.

"And where do you sleep?" it was the only time he spoke up during the whole tour- his velvety tone breaking the silence and filling the darkness. I stopped, stood, and breathed.

"Bella?" he asked, softly, turning me and brushing his hand on my cheek.

"Uhm…" I mumbled breathlessly, "this way…" I felt somewhat defeated. So I surrendered.

I opened the door to my bedroom slowly, exposing it inch by inch from the doorway. The hinges creaked until we both stood- looking at it perfectly exposed from the moonlight seeping through my window. It was almost a perfect square size, my bed against one wall, shadowed away from the window, and my closet on the other side of the room and a rocking chair in the corner and the computer next to the windowsill.

Edward didn't say anything. I watched the moonlight shine in his eyes as he took a step forward, scanning and gazing at everything. He stood in the middle of the room, his head turning around and just looking quietly to himself. The room almost seemed too small to contain him. He was the brightest, most attractive thing in there. For some reason, I felt like he'd fall through the floorboards, like my old, rickety house just couldn't hold him. Especially the old, worn floorboards in the middle of my room against his strong form.

"So…" I whispered, not being able to stand the silence. "There's my room…"

"I like it. You had nothing to worry about." he stated as a matter of fact. He seemed perfectly calm and casual. His expression vacant, just taking everything in. I finally realized I was standing outside my own room- so I stepped inside.

Upon the creak of the floor- Edward turned to see me entering. The atmosphere changed in that mere second. For Edward to be in my room was one thing, but for me _and _Edward to be in my room was completely another…

I gulped, and I could almost see his heart rate pick up. I wondered what he was thinking, and if it was anywhere near what I was…

For a moment, it didn't matter if I would ever see him again, regardless, I wanted that kiss.

Unconsciously, I walked to him. My eyes never leaving his. I tilted my head to the side, just taking a moment to look up at him. His face was washed with white light from outside, giving him an unearthly pale complexion. I'm sure my face was the same. Even though it was dark- so up close to him I felt exposed. It was as if the moonlight brought out the truth. Down to the expressions on our faces and the feelings behind them.

Edward leaned down and brushed his lips against my face, until he pecked little kisses to my lips. He settled them there- content for a moment in just touching. I sighed blissfully- until his lips moved against mine. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his waist. Edward held me too.

He licked his lips and began kissing me again, and this time I molded my own more firmly against his. He licked at my bottom lip and I inwardly moaned, an electric- no, it was more of a fiery stroke, surged through me, all stemming from where his lips met mine. I opened my mouth and nearly stopped breathing when I felt his tongue slip between my lips and seek out mine. When they finally met, I couldn't help but let out a moan this time. I heard Edward's breathing pick up almost wildly and suddenly his grip was that much tighter, more desperate to hold me. I was lost in the feeling of his soft tongue moving against mine, sliding, caressing, feeling, tasting… I thought it was going to be too much, any second I was just going to faint and pass out. Good thing we were near my bed…

Edward raised a hand to the side of my neck, as if ensuring I'd stay there for the kiss- as if I would ever dream of pulling away. All thoughts I had before- whether playful or not- about denying his kisses or saving that one kiss for later were gone. Literally right out the window. There wasn't a farther thought from my mind. This felt right. I knew because I had forgotten virtually everything else going on in the world. It was only Edward and the way he was kissing me right now.

His hands raised to both sides of my face, holding gently. He pulled his lips away briefly, and he nipped on my bottom lip and trailed kisses down my neck, not knowing how severely he was trailing fire all over my body. I was probably panting by now- but I didn't care. I was past caring. My lips missed his, so I pulled his face up, tugging by his bronze hair. He seemed eager for it too. He crashed his lips to mine again with a moan and this time I licked at his lips, too impatient to wait for him to comply with entrance. As soon as he opened his mouth and frantically, my tongue went to his, I let out a faint whimper, I'm not sure if Edward even heard. But the satisfaction of having him in such an intimate embrace again was bliss.

In all our kissing, I faintly noticed Edward leading me back to my bed. When my legs hit the edge of the mattress, and he slightly pulled away to lower me gently- I realized. I wasn't scared. I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing or thinking- well, maybe I had an idea about that, but I couldn't be sure…

I just looked up at him, I'm sure with some sort of look of awe. Maybe he was used to it by now, he had to be with what he did for a living.

Edward dipped me until I softly landed in my bed. He hovered over me for a moment- his face dangerously close to mine. Tenderly, his lips swept mine up. I gripped his arms, they felt solid and finely muscled. I pulled him down slightly, but Edward resisted. He brushed his lips across me as he shook his head no. Was it no? why? What just happened…?? I was in no state to be sure, or even aware of what I was doing…

I watched him close his eyes and kiss me on the forehead.

"Go to bed, love, and I'll see you in the morning."

**Let me know what you think, I know it's a long chapter…. But since the wait was so long for it, hopefully it's okay and you guys like!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Edward**

After I tucked Bella into bed, I went downstairs and slept on the couch, pulling the blanket off the back of the sofa and tugging it over me slightly. I slept soundly, comfortable that Bella was only a floor above me. Last night wasn't rejection. In no way shape or form…

It's just- things couldn't continue the way they were heading… I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep my excitement to myself if I laid down with her- like she was urging me too.

It was difficult to pull away, believe me, but it had to be done. I finally got that mind blowing, breath taking kiss. That was enough for one night.

I tossed slightly, the light coming in from the porch. Morning. Suddenly the sleep was lifted from my eyes and I felt wide awake. I laid there a moment, listening and taking in the scene around me.

Sure, Bella's house was different from my house growing up, but that didn't mean anything.

I listened more carefully, I could hear shuffling about in the kitchen. A smile grew on my face as I realized it was Bella.

I got up and tip toed as quietly as I could, I stopped a second- and attempted to fix my eternally disheveled hair in the reflection of a mirror before I continued on.

I peeked around the doorway and was nearly floored by what I saw. There was Bella, in small, light little night shorts, and an equally light and airy oversized t-shirt. She went about her own business, going through cabinets and pulling out bowls and going back and forth between the fridge and the counter. I just stood there a moment, leaning in the doorway, my arms crossed over my chest and stood there, content with just watching for the moment. I let my eyes take her in- from the way she moved all the way down to her mannerisms and the unconscious things she did when she was busy- muttering to herself, so low you could barely hear, her lips parting and closing with silent words as her thoughts went a mile an hour. The smile on my face began to grow as I wondered how long it would take for her to notice me- I stayed quiet. Funny, because I wasn't exactly hidden, just silent. She must be pretty busy in that mind of hers…

Suddenly, I was brought out of my thoughts, thinking it wouldn't be a bad life at all to wake up every morning like this, when Bella yelped. She hit her shin on the leg of the table, hitting the bone. She cursed in pain at herself- my eyes widened, startled.

"Bella, are you alright?"

She jumped even higher at that, "Edward! You're awake!" she accused, her eyes wide.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry?"

"Ha. No. I just… wasn't expecting you. I wasn't going to wake you until it was closer to the time to leave, I wanted you to get some rest…" she trailed off nervously, she rang a dish rag in her hands, twisting and ringing it even though it was perfectly dry. She avoided my eyes as I stalked over to her. It occurred to me that she just might be blushing…

I grinned at her as I lifted her face to mine.

"You were going to let me sleep in?" I asked, a little coyly.

"Yes."

"How sweet." I meant it. She let out a small laugh, finally allowing herself to ease up, pressing up against me for an embrace. "But did it ever occur to you that I'd rather be awake to spend time with you? There's no telling when we'll be alone again." I kissed the top of her head. Bella laughed, the sound muffled into my chest. "Alone in your house… no less…" I smirked into her hair. She snorted and swatted me.

She finally pulled away from my arms, much to my dismay.

"What?" I asked, concerned.

"Ugh. Nothing. I'm sorry Edward."

"_For?"_

"Last night. I… I don't know what came over me, I… I didn't mean to keep you up. You should've slept, and I should've stayed up long enough to get you somewhere decent to sleep instead of just crashing after taking advantage of you." she joked a little at the end, gracing me with a smile, but otherwise I could tell underneath she was sorry.

"Oh, Bella. It's okay. Don't you dare apologize for that kiss." I warned in a menacing tone- pulling her back to me by her shoulders. My eyes went to her lips, they were just calling to me…

And before I had time to stop myself, I swept up her lips in an intimate lock, a satisfied moan escaping from the back of my throat. I heard Bella gasp at my sudden forwardness, it only allowed me the opportunity to sweep my tongue along the line of her lips. Bella indulged me for a moment, kissing me back, her hands balled into fists and tightening on the fabric of my shirt before she started to pull away.

"Edward…" she broke off, my lips caught hers again in attempt to silence her.

She laughed a little and kissed me a little more, but alas, I just couldn't keep her.

She managed to wiggle away from me, my hand loosing its grip around her waist feebly. I sighed in dismay and defeat. Bella smiled at me radiantly.

"I kinda like that you look so disappointed right now."

I laughed. "Satisfied with yourself?"

"Very."

"You should be." I winked. She blushed but was otherwise amused, smiling even as she moved away to get the milk out of the fridge.

"Sorry. Cereal will just have to do. I'm afraid while I've been gone, my dad has eaten us out of house and home."

"Oh, that's alright." I shrugged.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

We ate and talked and laughed… it died down when we were both finished, absolutely full to last us until we got to the tour. Then, I could tell we were both thinking the same thing…

"Um…"

"Yeah?" I asked, attempting to sound ignorant of what she was trying to get at. I still sat at the table while Bella put her bowl away.

"I uh, need to shower…"

I didn't say anything. For some reason, this absolutely normal and everyday occurrence was embarrassing her. She blushed just slightly.

"Alright… I'll… just wait down here… I guess?" I felt incredibly stupid after that last line. Of course I'd wait down here. It's not like I'd join her….

"Um, okay. Well…" she paused, "is there anything you need before I get in?" she bit her lip and I thought 'oh god please don't do that.' Do not bite your lip when you've just told me you're going to get in the shower. When you'll be just a staircase away above me, naked and….

I didn't allow myself to go any further with the thought, even though my mind could finish it clearly without having to actually speak the words in my head. That was bad enough.

I cleared my throat. "No I'm fine, thank you."

"Okay."

She cleared her throat and excused herself.

I stayed sitting at the table, listening to her as she trudged up the stairs. I didn't move until I heard the water turn on in the bathroom upstairs. I then sighed, and put away my bowl and left the kitchen.

I felt slightly out of place, being in her house without her in the same room as me. Not awkward, not uncomfortable- just that if Bella wasn't there with me, what was the point? I had to admit though, this place was a little different. Her childhood was contained here. Her life before me was here, and it told a lot about her.

I walked around the living room, looking at picture frames and photos and seeing what movies they had…

I stood in front of the glass sliding doors that lead to her backyard. It was brilliantly green outside, her yard connected to the surrounding forest. The trees stood on the border between her yard and the outside world.

I looked at the time- much to my satisfaction, we were up early enough to be ready and still have some time to ourselves before we left. Thank God.

I laid back down on the couch and decided to rest my eyes- I almost didn't notice the sound of the water turning off…

My eyes opened as I heard the bathroom door open and close. I stayed silent and still. Bella wet and wrapped in a towel darting for her bedroom for clothes played in my mind. I felt almost guilty for thinking such thoughts. I didn't know what came over me, it's like they were there before I even consented to thinking such things. Was it even worse I wasn't even trying to stop myself anymore? Probably.

At least Bella wasn't a mind reader.

I closed my eyes again, but it wasn't long before I heard her descend down the stairs.

I pretended to be asleep.

"Edward Cullen. I know you're faking." came Bella's voice, feigning seriousness as if she were not amused.

Regardless, I kept my eyes closed, and fought desperately against the smile that I knew was probably starting to show on my lips-

Even more so when I heard her light steps coming closer- and I felt a presence at the foot of the couch, even with my eyes closed.

I sighed and pretended to have heavy, even breathing that comes along with sleep. After a moment, I was wondering why she wasn't playing along anymore- I thought against opening my eyes, wanting to give her just one more second… but her not speaking anymore was driving me crazy. I caved and opened them.

"Fine! You caught me. I'm a faker." I shouted with a grin.

Bella was leaning over, mere inches from my face. I wasn't expecting that…

"Mmhm. And it was my plan all along to make you admit it, yourself." she smirked defiantly.

I froze for a second, at a loss for words… but then it was my turn to grin evilly.

"and what makes you think that that wasn't a part of my plan??" I raised an eyebrow.

Bella stared at me a moment, incredulous, finally, she laughed. "What?? That doesn't make sense!"

She was right, I was defeated, but I ran with it anyway..

"My little charade got you here, didn't it?" I asked coyly. And realization hit her eyes. She tried to back up, away from me laying on the couch- but I wrapped my hand around her forearm, and slid it down slowly until I reached her wrist, pulling her closer to me all the while.

Bella at least tried to subdue her surprise, but I could tell it was there. She was semi-reluctant and I don't know why. The way she held herself told me it had more to do with her own fears than me- which was preposterous. Bella was… too stunning for words sometimes. If she only knew that already, a single look would bring me to my knees…

My eyes scanned her features for any sign of uncomfort. There was none. So I continued to pull her down to me….

I spread my legs a little, making room for her to settle in between a bit and lay on my chest. She did, a little cautiously at first, but then she scooted up, her face level with mine and bit her lip. Her eyes were calculating, but smoldering at the same time.

I leaned my head up and sought her lips for a kiss. Bella kissed back, her hands on my chest, tilting herself upward. This time, I was thrilled to find her tongue sweeping my mouth for entrance first which I was all too satisfied to give. Her tongue gently moved with mine. With my eyes closed, I got lost in the feeling, the sensation. Her taste was deliciously sweet. Her lips so soft and warm, just like her body…

I raised my hand to the back of her head and tangled my hand in her hair. Bella pressed her lips more firmly to mine and deepened the kiss- it became more heated seemingly out of nowhere. Or maybe not- maybe it had been building since we started spending time together. Now, with this kind of connection with Bella, something new was building inside of me, setting my body on fire from the inside out.

It was all her fault. Her lips moving with mine, the feel of her body above me, the sounds she made, her breathing, her scent and taste.

I laid back and she crawled higher on me, to my surprise. I watched her with curious amazed eyes as she started kissing on my neck. I bit my lip to hold back the moan as I felt her lips moved from kissing to sucking on the skin. My breathing picked up almost immediately. My whole body reacting… including a certain lower region..

It didn't help that Bella moved as she paid attention to my neck. Her hips slightly ground into mine as she worked. I don't even know if she realized she was doing it, or if it was unconsciously done and just instinctive. Whatever it was, my hips moved on their own accord, bucking back in response to her prodding. The feeling when it did, was indescribable.

I let out a shuddering breath, throwing my head back into the couch. I let my eyes close a little and just feel Bella- my hands went to her hips and pressed them more against me. I heard her gasp- and I realized she felt something hard. Me.

I looked down and realized my legs were wrapped around her, completely pinning her to me. Bella's lips paused their work on my neck and froze- she met my eyes. What was that look in her eyes? Shock? It seemed to have washed over with…what? Wonder? Then.. Lust? Really? All for me? I felt way too fortunate to have her.

"I'm sorry." I quickly apologized, untangling her lower half from mine.

"Don't be." she breathed. She seemed to deliberate with herself a moment- before deciding whatever it was she thought- then went back to kissing and sucking on my neck.

"Bella… you don't have to. We can stop." I rasped, but I don't think it mattered. Bella seemed determined as well as lust driven. The selfish side of me couldn't exactly stop her for that…

"I don't want to. Not yet." she whispered, and her tongue slipped out from her lips to taste me. I started panting again.

"Bella…" I warned, even though my hands were back on her hips and rubbing them against mine.

"Edward." she answered, as a matter of fact and her hands slid up my shirt and started feeling and exploring the heated skin of my chest. I felt her delicate fingers trace the lines of my abs all the way down to the cut of my hip bones and the V that lead down to my pants. I whimpered slightly. Yeah, I whimpered. Luckily it managed to sound manly enough and not like the helpless creature I felt like. Absolutely melting beneath her. Her finger teasingly traced the skin around my navel.

I hissed and bit my lip to keep the sounds of pleasure at bay-

"Stop." I commanded. Harshly, I'll admit. But she was going to kill me.

Bella looked up. "What's wrong?"

"We have to stop now, Bella." I said softly, sitting up with her with me. I sat her on my lap slightly, but a safe enough distance away.

"I know…" she said, and avoided my gaze, her eyes down turning to her lap, blushing. "It's just… I thought a little… you know… we weren't doing anything bad."

I groaned. Why did she have to be so irresistible and make the situation sound completely okay and rational?? Something was tugging at my mind though and telling me we'd better stop. For the sake of my manhood, we needed to stop before we got to a point of no return…

I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. The way she looked back at me nearly blew me away. I'd never seen any look like that before. I wondered what it was. What you'd call it. I'd call it l-

I pushed the thought away and kissed her gently. Softly, I pressed my lips to hers. Sweetly we kissed until I finally pulled away.

"maybe you should go shower now." she mumbled.

I laughed, "Yeah, maybe I definitely should…" I grinned suggestively.

She blushed but laughed too, "I'm sorry. At least there's plenty of cold water if you need it."

"Need it?" I scoffed. "Absolutely."

Bella blushed again and hit me in the chest, "stop that! You're just laying it on thick now."

I squinted at her, "Is that what you think I'm doing??"

"Isn't it?" she asked, a little afraid.

"No!" I shook my head enthusiastically, my eyes slightly wide with disbelief at her accusation. I was standing now, about to head upstairs. Bella watched me.

"Why would you think that?" I asked before I left.

She sighed. She shook her head, "forget it. It's nothing."

"No, why?" I worried. "Did I ever give you reason to?"

"No! no, it's just… I don't…." she looked down, "I don't have much experience." she whispered so low, I think it was more to herself than to me. I pretended not to hear it if that was the case.

"I'll tell you about it later. We can talk then." she smiled a bit.

"Okay." I nodded.

I thought as I went up the stairs. I knew what she meant. I guess it was time we had that talk. You know- the one where you ask about people you've dated, hooked up with, virgin, non virgin, ever been in love….. Questions you want to know, but don't really want to know… you know?

What was I going to tell her? What was she going to tell me?

I thought about that as I went into the bathroom. Bella said she didn't have much experience. But how could that be true when she was so…

I sighed. Great. Now I was remembering our couch scenario. I cut off all thoughts that had to do with Bella as I stepped into a very chilly shower.

**Sorry it took so long guys. I hope this chapter was worth your while. What did you think of the action? Let me know. Also, while you're waiting for the next installment of this story, why not check out my new fanfic called 'The Orpheum's Final Act'. I have a lot of ideas for that one too and I think it's good, but it hardly has any reviews. Anyway, if you're done with this one or bored, check it out : ) Thanks to all you kind readers!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry I know it's been a long time! I hope this chapter is good, please let me know what you think. It took so long because I was struggling with what to put in it, what to save for later in the story and so on… anyway, I hope it satisfies. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!**

_**Edward**_

After I finished getting ready, Bella and I waited outside her house in the backyard until we heard Jasper's car pull up.

"There they are…" Bella mused to herself. While we waited, we had only been hanging out. It was a cool, light, slightly overcast morning, still a little early. The grass was vibrant green and slightly damp from the constant rain and clouds. Our conversation was casual. As soon as I got out of the shower and met her out here, we both seemed to ignore what had happened earlier… the conversation part anyway. Apparently when Bella said "I'll talk to you about it later" she meant much later…

I decided I wouldn't push her. Not at all, in fact, I was pretty sure I needed the preparation time. Whatever it was we were going to tell, I didn't want those things to get in the way of us now. The past is past. But even as I know that, I also know that if she were to tell me now- Edward, I've had two serious long term relationships. I slept with both of them- I'd probably be…. jealous. Jealous? Yes, I think that's the word…. But it was more than that. It wasn't just the petty emotion, it ran deeper than that for some reason. The idea that Bella could've fallen or had been in love with someone else was uncomfortable for me to ponder. Even though she didn't know me then, I still couldn't help but feel resentment, or- envy, for someone she'd known and loved and possibly cherished that wasn't me. Wasn't me at all. She didn't even know me. Not then. What was her life like then? Her love life? Personally, mine wasn't anything great. I liked to think Bella's would be the same-

When I say that, I don't mean I hope she was miserable in the past. No. I just… hope we could be even. On the same level in this area for some reason. I knew it was irrational, but I didn't want to have to think of another guy before me with her, in any way, knowing someone had been here first and she just may have been interested in him. She'd said yes to him.

Even worse though, is if they had hurt her. Someone hurting Bella, scarring her, or breaking her heart- was worse than if she had fallen in love a thousand times over before I came along.

Strange. But that was how I felt.

And then I was angry with myself. I was glad she couldn't know my thoughts, or no one for that matter. I didn't want Bella to think she had to be perfect, or that I was holding her on some unrealistic scale. Or that this was back in the old days where if a woman wasn't completely virginal before you met her then she was worthless. Oh God no. I shuddered at the thought.

So whatever she would tell me, whenever she decided to, about her past, I could only have an open, understanding mind.

She was worth it. Right now, I was willing to take my chances and stick with her. It was worth putting myself on the line. It was worth being vulnerable.

And I realized that all in the time it took me in the shower, to walk downstairs, and to find Bella in the backyard.

I sat in the grass, my legs spread out, and Bella sat between them, picking at grass, pulling up blades by their roots in the earth and shredding them. She had a small pile now on the tops of her jean clothed thighs. I leaned back on my palms a bit and watched her. She seemed nervous.

But she rose to get up at the sound of the car. I smiled when she offered to help me up. I took her hand, but carried my own weight as I stood.

Going around to the front- I saw it was Alice in the driver's seat this time. Jasper was grinning in the passenger's side with big aviator sunglasses on. He looked relaxed and well rested. Alice looked ready to go, a coil waiting to spring free.

"Shall we?" I asked, offering my hand to Bella. The worry, or apprehension, on her face eased away and she smiled at me.

"Mmhm." she hummed.

I opened the door for her and we were on the road.

We arrived on the tour grounds in time. Surprisingly, no one had fallen back asleep during the car ride. There seemed to be an excitement in the air that just kept you awake, kept you entertained, not to mention, Bella was sitting right next to me. I had my hand on her knee almost the whole trip. I tested the waters a little bit… when Alice and Jasper were caught in their own conversation, I would squeeze Bella's knee, sometimes trailing a little bit higher to the beginning of her thigh. She would squirm and desperately hold back a squeal. I knew it was ticklish. I remembered an old saying from grade school- if a girl was ticklish there, it meant she was boy crazy. How strange, I thought, to remember that now…

Bella would slap her hand down to mine, trying to halt its actions. Her eyes would go wide, her lips pursed, holding her breath to fight back laughter. I grinned devilishly and tormented her nonstop the whole car ride up there. I laughed quietly under my breath.

"We're here, fools." Alice muttered.

I laughed.

I instructed them where to park and we got out.

I saw the buses already there.

"Hey, we're gonna have a look around," Jasper called, as I had strayed off a bit, looking excitedly for my own bus.

"Okay." Bella said and she watched Alice and Jasper go.

I rushed back to her, glad to have her alone.

"Come on," I grinned, holding her by her arm, "Wanna go find my bus?" I asked eagerly. God I felt like a little kid all of a sudden.

She smiled small-ly. She looked…. Not as eager.

"What?" I pressed, stepping closer to her.

"Nothing." she shook her head, but I wondered what she was worrying about.

"No, what?"

"Uh…" she took a deep breath, debating what she was going to tell me- but whatever it was- she thought against it. "Nothing. Really, I'm fine. Let's go find your bus." she smiled. More convincing, but not quite. I wanted to please her though, so I complied with her wishes and tucked away what I saw for later…

As we walked around, I took her hand.

"Is this alright?" I mumbled then cleared my throat, slightly embarrassed I felt the need I had to ask.

"Of course!" she seemed shocked. "Why wouldn't it be? You know you don't have to ask anything, really, anymore, Edward."

"Well… I just, wanted to make sure… you seemed… put off back there. Something wrong?"

Crap. I had just promised myself I'd let it go for now. Bella knew what I was getting at now, I could see it written on her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel… unwelcome." she winced at the word.

"You didn't, it's okay. What's wrong?" I brought my hand to her cheek and brushed it encouragingly as we walked in pace with each other. My brows furrowed with worry.

She sighed. "I'm just… wondering… well, to be honest with you, and I'm also a little embarrassed- I'm a little afraid of Rosalie right now. I mean, that whole Mike thing, she was there with you… she saw it before you, before she knew what it even was… I'm just a little worried she might not… believe me. Or, be as convinced you know? From the very first day she was wary of me… and then it seemed like she was warming up a bit, helping with the whole Tanya situation, but now.. I feel like I might be knocked right back down to zero again on the approval meter." she shrugged and plastered a pathetic smile on her face. I had to smile warmly at her. I found her insufficient worries endearing. Did she really care that much about me? To care what my band members thought? Or was it Rosalie's intimidation that motivated her mostly?

I chuckled and brushed her bottom lip with my thumb before leaning down for a quick kiss. "Is that it?" I asked through a laugh.

"What do you mean is that _it_??" she blinked and stepped back.

"It's okay, Bella. If Rosalie gives you any crap, I'll fight her off for you." I shrugged a shoulder, grinning wildly.

"It's not funny Edward!"

"Hilarious."

"No! It's not! Don't make fun of me for it… I have valid reason to worry… and…. Don't you want them to like me??" her continuing worry and fear and slight annoyance with me was more and more endearing. She gripped my hand tighter as we walked- more in frustration than affection.

I shrugged again. "Doesn't matter if they do or don't. I'd still be with you anyway. I'm a pretty good judge of character."

"Let's put it this way then, what if it were the other way around? What if Jasper or Alice had a problem with you??" she glared, angrily.

I laughed. "Well that's just silly. Alice and Jasper _looove _me…" I smirked. She groaned irritatingly and pulled her hand from my hold and balled them into fists at her side.

"Edward!"

"Relax! I explained to Rosalie the Mike situation as soon as she ran off and told me she saw you with him. She knows."

Bella seemed to relax a little, leaning back into my side and allowing me to hold her hand once again. However, the worry on her face wasn't entirely erased.

"Doesn't matter… she still has the right to hate me." she muttered under her breath. Again, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear…

Why would she have the right to hate her? Did she think Rose caught her doing something else that I didn't? No, that didn't make sense. She was only here the one day… and we saw her… and Mike… and…and…

And that Jacob boy, the volunteer at the earth tent or something…

But that was nothing. She had only met him just then.

Didn't Rosalie make a comment about Bella going through the guys on tour? "who's next, Emmett?" or something like that?

That's ridiculous. Bella doesn't care either that I'm in a band… her favorite band… she doesn't care about other guys in bands… she doesn't care about petty, shallow stuff! I'm letting my mind get carried away. Too ridiculously carried away. Bella was nothing like that. I needed to stop worrying. We would talk soon enough and I would see that everything was fine.

Everything was fine. We would talk…

…We would talk. Crap. What was I going to tell her?

As we walked, my hand unconsciously tightened on her own, as if willing her to stay after I'd come clean and spill my guts.

In all fairness, it wasn't bad. But then again, that depended on which way you looked at it. A girl could be pleased with it, or, a girl could find it strange or- unsettling, maybe? No, that's not the word. Not disappointed… but maybe…. Apprehensive? Cautious? Curious?

Me having little romantic experience with women could either be the best thing she'd hear (I wasn't a man whore), or the worst- if she was looking for someone with experience and skill… someone who knew how to really please a woman. Someone who cared enough to try…

That's just it, before Bella, I didn't care enough to attempt anything with anyone. No one held my interest mentally, so what would be the point physically? Soon, they all started to blur. Especially being in this band. Female faces all became similar to me. Their advances, their approach, all became stale. Expected. Boring, lame, repulsive. So I never… slept with a woman before. And I was perfectly fine with it- most of the time- when Emmett and Rosalie were being kind, which wasn't often…. But other times it was easy to ignore.

But- could I explain this to Bella? And still manage to be just as appealing? Just as attractive? More than mentally? Maybe she already had this preconceived notion about me that I had plenty of sexual experience, and that being with me was going to be this exciting, mind blowing experience that was both equally satisfying and flattering- considering it came from her "favorite person ever"- favorite member of her favorite band. If I was still even that.

Did she see me as just a person now? Just Edward? Not the man who sings and plays in all her favorite songs.

And what if that part of me wasn't erased from her mind? What if it was still playing a large part of it? Would that matter? Was that good or bad? Did I really even care?

I winced mentally at that. Of course I cared. I wanted to be just Edward to her. Just like she was just Bella. Just my amazing, beautiful Bella.

I sighed and managed a side glance at her. She seemed to be in deep worried thought as well within her own mind. I had noticed her hand gripped my own with the same almost desperate force. As if she wanted me to stay, too. It was like we were both bracing ourselves, but at the same time, scared the other one would go running with the bad news. Could we both take it? Did we have enough to handle it?

I looked at her a little while more. My eyes penetrating her features and soaking them in, trying to see into her mind through the brown pools of her eyes.

If she wanted… that… physical connection, that spark, that fire or something to make her burn then… I could give that to her. It wasn't like I was clueless. I knew just as much about sex as anybody else. How could you not in this business and touring on the road? It was everywhere.

But knowing and feeling were two different things.

But it's not like the urge wasn't there. With Bella, that urge definitely was there. It had started as a small fire, first lit when I laid eyes on her. So small, it was just a spark. But that spark had enough in it to grow into a flame. A flame that burned and a fire that grew bigger deep inside me the longer I knew her. The longer I was near her, the longer her face and voice echoed and shone through my head during the days of her absence. And nights.

With Bella, the flame that was inside me all along finally had permission to burn. There was that passion in me, long dormant, or only channeled through music, seeking another outlet that could only be satisfied through her.

….

We would talk. And everything would be fine. I was going to tell her. I could confide. And I was going to listen to when she would speak….

And brace myself for how or if that would change us.

_**Bella**_

The rest of the day was spent casually and it was fun. Edward stayed by my side throughout. He showed me, Alice, and Jasper around and recommended which shows to catch. I had to admit, I enjoyed myself a lot more than I thought I would- only because holding Edward's hand and officially being with him made me so happy- that whenever I looked at him- for a second- I was able to forget that I had to talk to him later.

And tell him that I was pathetically, embarrassingly, virginal. I had never had sex.

I was never bothered by it before. But now… that I was dating a guy in a rock band… I was a little worried. I felt… self conscious.

I also felt a little guilty too. Like I was judging Edward wrongfully. He hardly seemed like the type at all to place physical, sexual factors above all else concerning a relationship. Edward was refreshingly genuine. And not to mention tender, and kind and understanding…

So what made me think he was going to scoff in my face and drop me off at home once he found out my little secret? I couldn't even picture him giving me such a look.

But that's just it. I couldn't picture Edward giving me any kind of look, period. A look of longing, lust, love… it was all too amazing to even dwell or dream upon. Too unfathomable. I still couldn't understand how this amazing guy wanted me. Wanted me!

And so that had me worried about telling him about my previous relationships. I hadn't wanted anyone as much as I want him. Not because he was beautiful, but because the person on the inside finally matched what I had been looking for all along.

As I thought about it more…. I became stubborn and determined.

I was a virgin. So what? Is that really something to be ashamed of? It's not like I was old as hell or going to die that way…

Being a virgin at my age wasn't totally unheard of. And you know what- it's because I hadn't found the person I wanted to do that with yet. That's all. It's not my fault no one worth while has come along.

I would tell Edward. He could take it or leave it. At the end of the day could you really blame me for holding out? Perfectly understandable.

I took a deep breath as I looked up at him. We were standing in a crowd, waiting for a band to come on and play. He caught my eye and smiled down at me, pulling me in closer to his chest and resting his chin on top of my head, ruffling my hair as he did. I felt my heart swell. I wrapped his arms around me.

I would tell him everything. Everything he should know anyway, or if he chose to ask.

As the band finally appeared onstage to the sound of cheers and distorted guitars already starting up, my mind wandered to if I should tell him about a not so innocent experience I did have. The only one of its kind in my busy life so far. Would I even have to tell him? Was it that important? Or just a minor detail, meaningless? Cause I'm sure it happened all the time… but would not telling him, be the same as lying?

;

The sun was setting by the time Edward came offstage and met me behind it. He was grinning broadly and already had his arms outstretched, welcoming me. I had to laugh at the warm sight of him. He was practically sweating buckets but he looked good- really good.

I pursed my lips in fake contemplation on whether or not to embrace him. "I dunno… you're sorta sweaty…"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. I didn't get a choice anymore- he pulled me into his chest and my cheek hit the damp material of his t-shirt, his solid, muscled form I could feel underneath it.

I pretended to resist, but it was only for the fact that when I squirmed, I could feel more of him pressed up against me. Edward didn't seem to notice. Either way, he tightened the grip of his arms and locked me to him in a satisfyingly bone crushing hug. When he finally released me, I was laughing.

"Should we go get something to eat?" he asked, brushing hair away from my face.

"Um, sure." I smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie walk past us. She was clearly going for the opposite direction of wherever I would be. Her blonde hair swishing by, flowing gracefully down her back as she sauntered away into the crowd on an agenda of her own, Emmett close behind on her heels, but not before taking a double glance at Edward and I.

My eyes finally darted back to Edward, who pretended not to notice my attention to him had wavered. A shaky attempt at a reassuring smile appeared on his face.

"Come on, maybe we can go find Alice and Jasper."

I only nodded as I took his hand, trying to work double time to make it appear I wasn't just worrying about something that was on my mind- but I knew he could tell the thing with Rosalie was still an issue, or fear rather, for me.

Truth is, I hadn't even seen her all day except for onstage and just now. That was probably just more proof of the unforgiving vibe I got from her.

When we didn't find Alice and Jasper, the butterflies in my stomach (which had just recently appeared as we walked) became more furious. With the hours getting later, the sky getting darker, I became more nervous about being alone with Edward. More afraid.

I knew any minute he'd just suggest we go somewhere private. Nice and quiet maybe, so we could have that talk. That stupid talk that we probably don't even need and I should have never brought it up…

But maybe this was important. It was. It could bring us together more, couldn't it? Maybe? Yes. I would be placing trust in him, as he would be with me, I'm guessing. I'm hoping. I just want us to be on the same page.

Edward held both our plates of food- simply pizza on paper plates- and I had our bottles of water. He lead us in the direction of the tour bus parking lot- where it was a lot quieter. Considerably quieter than the still ongoing music festival.

Damn it. This is it.

We walked in silence. Edward didn't seem to be uncomfortable, so I imagined it was just me.

I became mesmerized with his perfect, smooth, assured strides as he walked. He was such a tall, handsome, striking figure you couldn't miss him. I watched as his head darted up and caught sight of his own tour bus- the light already on. Emmett and Rosalie must've been using it. Still currently inside.

"Hey, how bout we go sit on the ledge over there?" he asked, in a casual up beat tone. I nodded and followed him to the edge of the parking lot, near a giant light post in the middle of the asphalt, and we sat down on a concrete ledge on the ground.

He handed me my plate after he got settled. I placed our water on the floor. His legs were folded up, his knees almost hitting his chest we were so low on the ground, without actually sitting on it. I had my legs stretched out in front of me. I tucked my hair behind an ear and pretended that I didn't see anything coming…

And for a moment, I thought it wouldn't be. We sat in contemplative silence, not even eating, but listening to the soft wind and watching the figures and buses in the distance that seemed to be a lot farther away.

And then I heard him take a low, steady breath. He shifted and turned to me. I looked in his eyes, which looked a lot darker from the shadows cast partially on his face, and I was met with something I couldn't quite recognize…

Almost automatically, before I realized it had happened, I was turned to him too.

He just blinked and looked at me and I held his gaze.

Then he was leaning into me, his eyes drifting shut and molding his lips to mine. He inhaled through his nose and brought his hands up to my face. My eyes were shot open for a second, shocked that that had happened, sort of out of nowhere, but then I felt that familiar melting sensation that happened whenever I kissed Edward.

I closed my eyes and hummed a sound satisfaction, a relief to have him back, when I hadn't realized he had been missing. I had seen him all day, but so much of it was spent away in my mind, thinking, worrying, analyzing, stressing, that I didn't really see him, never less feel him.

Moving his lips against mine tenderly and slow, he moved closer to me still. This was a kiss we hadn't shared before. It was serious, almost. Deliberately passionate, willing the other to feel something, to feel what you felt for them…

Already lost to him and what he was doing to my senses, my lips parted as I slumped against him, too weak to really hold up anymore.

He tongue passed through my lips, caressing them as it went, then continued to find my own. His breathing picked up, but was barely audible over my own. His hands still held my face to his, gently, but assertive to where he wanted me. My hands we on his neck, pulling, eager to have him closer.

We definitely hadn't had a kiss like this before. The others were passionate, yes, the ones at my house, and more frenzied, desperate. This one was slow, serious, sensual, tender, effective. Capable of producing the exact effect he wanted. This kiss was… almost.. Seductive.

Then I could feel it. I consciously registered the burning I felt, more intense than any other time I'd been with Edward, low and inside of me between my legs.

I pressed closer to him more eagerly this time, whimpering out in want and need, but not being able to get exactly it is you're really looking for, whatever that is. He was deliberately trying to make me come undone- or something. He had to be. I just couldn't wrap my head around someone being this good of a kisser, especially of this kind of kiss, if they weren't at least purposely trying…

Before I knew it, my legs had swung up and landed in his lap. That seemed to get his attention. With a passionate surge, and a hitch in his breathing, his hand dove straight between my tightly jean clad thighs. This time, he let a moan out against my lips and one hand palmed and gripped the fleshy part of my inner thigh, kneading and seriously driving me crazy with the way his touch and his tongue in my mouth worked in sync. I rubbed my legs together to relieve some sort of tension. I realized though, I wasn't going to get any better, it was only going to get worse. My want and desire would only continue to burn more if we kept this up- here, on the tour grounds, in the parking lot, technically still in public even though the nearest person was an entire parking lot away-

It was like a cold bucket of water landing on top of you.

I pulled away with a gasp of air- words trying to form off the tip of my tongue- but before I could even be quick enough to think of what to say- Edward had lunged forward and recaptured my lips again hungrily. His tongue even sneaking out and teasingly touching to my lips.

With another wild gasp of air, I pulled away, seriously leaning back, away from him, my palms flat against the asphalt.

"Edward!" I managed to get out, "where did that come from?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Um…" what did I mean? I gulped. In my silence, he was looking at me again like he had a better way to preoccupy my mouth. The thing was, I totally agreed- but there was something else nagging at the back of my mind. What was it again?

That kiss. Didn't that have to do with exactly what we needed to talk about?

"I'm sorry Bella. Did you not like it? It's just all day I feel you've been distant. Not exactly avoiding me, because I've been with you, but just not there. There's something on your mind and it's distracting you. What is it?"

I sighed. My eyes dropped away from his gaze and saw his hand still on my lap, not exactly between my thighs anymore, but still holding there gently.

"Well… I guess now is later."

"So you'll tell me now. We'll talk." he gulped, eyeing me.

"If that's what you want… if you want to… talk too…" he nodded.

"But what is it you're nervous about? Or are you afraid?" he leaned in and whispered, his lips dangerously close to mine again. I tried to ignore it, but failed and licked my lips in anticipation. He complied and placed wet, small kisses against my puckered lips. Just as the soft smacking sound of them started to pick up, so did my breathing and the heat between my legs again- then he pulled away.

"Bella- we don't have to… we can just figure this out as we go along. If there's something you.. Don't want to tell me, you don't have to, now or yet, if you could just ask me to trust you, I'd be-"

"No, Edward. I think we need to know each other better. And I think having this conversation will do that and we'll get to move way forward. I think it can be good for us. If we take it well.."

"Take it well? Are you worried I won't be able to deal with… what you're about to tell me?" his eyebrows shot up in concern, his eyes wary.

"It depends." I winced and looked away.

"On what?"

"On what you think of me being a virgin."

**I had to stop it there. The chapter was getting too long and there's a lot to still happen. As soon as you've finished this, know I am working on the next chapter and hope to have it up either tonight or tomorrow! Sound good? Haha. While you're waiting, if you want, my other story, The Orpheum's Final Act has a new chapter! Go check that out if you want. I like writing that story a lot. Anyway, Thanks for reading!!**


	19. Chapter 19

Edward froze. His eyes seemed to glaze over for a second and I just watched him, as he slowly melted back to normal and seemed to comprehend my statement.

"Say that again?" he was still slightly dazed, frozen into place.

"Edward, I'm a virgin." I felt as I repeated it, the embarrassment was gradually going away. I was never ashamed, and I felt I had no reason to be. But the embarrassment was creeping away by the second as I held firm to my answer. To the truth. I realized it was better, more noble to stand your ground and admit it then try to make excuses or cover it up. This was Edward. Quite possibly the person I could've been waiting for, and why should I hide from that fact? If we were as into each other as we said we were, as we felt we were, then wouldn't this experience, whenever it may happen, if it does at all, just be that much more important? Bring us closer? What's wrong with that? Where's the down side?

There was none, as long as I stayed true to who I was.

But this fact, that I had never had sex, didn't define me. And why should it? It shouldn't be some label placed above us on everyone's head. It's only a huge deal if you make it that way.

So I sat there, in front of him, waiting to see if Edward would make it into a huge deal. I took a deep breath, willing the nervous butterflies to fly away. I was more calm now, assertive, but that still didn't stop me from wondering what his reaction would be…

I eyed him for a moment… he seemed to be not breathing. This had me worried, I bit my lip. The movement caught his attention. His eyes, without darting to meet my own, went straight to my mouth. He leaned in without warning and kissed me. It was a quicker kiss, not purposely seductive the way the other one was, even though it had the same seductive effect on me. A simple, tender kiss to my lips and then he pulled away.

"Okay. You wanna know a secret?" he almost teased. A soft crooked smile was pulling up at the corner of his mouth and I couldn't figure why. I only nodded, too mesmerized and curious for anything else.

"So. Am. I." he whispered against my lips. I was almost too distracted by the lingering breath of his mouth near mine that I couldn't take the words in fast enough. Just as he pulled back to gauge my reaction, with half lidded, dreamy looking eyes, I realized the meaning of his words…

"What??"

But that didn't mean I didn't have to question him. I heard him, I realized what he was saying, I just could not believe it.

There's no way.

He wouldn't say that just to make me feel more comfortable would he?

"Edward…" I leaned back, trying to get a really good look at him too to see his answer, "You don't have to lie to me. If you've…. I … understand. What's past is past-"

"Bella!" he exclaimed, slightly offended slightly amused. "Do you really think that of me? That I'd lie about something like this?-"

I cut him off this time, "Maybe. If you were afraid I'd be too uncomfortable with it. Just to make me feel better."

His jaw dropped in a hurt expression and shock. I felt a little guilty, but otherwise I ignored it.

He turned away from me, shaking his head and muttering something unintelligible under his breath.

"Edward, look at me."

"No."

"No?" I scoffed, almost laughed. For some reason him going against something I wanted was amusing to me. Edward was usually apt to do anything I favored, even in the few days I'd known him..

In a burst of emotion and determination and spite, I got up and walked around in front of him. I sat down deliberately on his lap, straddling my legs around his waist, my feet flat on the asphalt behind him.

"Still no?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow. He looked mad at first, but then a smile was regretfully forming onto his face.

"No." he said anyway, and even though he refused to look directly at me, his hands went to my hips and suited me better onto his lap. I had to ignore the strange shock of pleasure that shot through my body at the feel of being directly pressed into his groin, the feel of his waist between my legs… sitting so tightly against him….

Stop those thoughts right now!

"I didn't mean what I said in a bad way.-"

"Well what did you mean then? Are you automatically assuming I'm lying because you automatically assumed I can't be a virgin, too?"

My jaw dropped. He was looking at me now with a satisfied smirk on his face that he had out smarted me.

"You know what they say when you assume… you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'…" he purred, biting his lip to contain the smile.

"Shut up! Edward… this is supposed to be a serious conversation here, and you're not making it any better."

"Oh, I'M not?? But you are though, right? Perfectly cooperative and accepting and trusting of everything I'm telling you."

I slouched, defeated. "I get it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… accused you of lying. Especially about that. I should know better… and I do know better, I know you… but it's just so hard to really believe…" I insisted, pulling his gorgeous face into my hands.

"Why?" his expression softened to one of worry and concern. His eyes bore into mine again, his brows furrowed together. I ran my hands through his messy hair and squeezed my legs tighter around him as our upper bodies became closer, me closing the distance between them and pressing us tighter. I could feel the definite shape of him, what I imagined to be a finely muscled torso underneath that flimsy t-shirt…

"Because…" I muttered.

"Because why?" he mumbled directly against my lips. My eyes drifted shut a little, but I was still a bit determined to get my words out.

"Because look at you." I answered, our lips still touching but not kissing. Just touching and moving against the other as we spoke.

"That's not really an answer, Bella."

"Yes it is. If you'd look in the mirror you'd know that's definitely an answer…"

"What are you trying to say?"

"That you're too attractive to not have slept with a single woman in all your days." with that sentence, I pulled my face away from his.

"And so you're judging me. Based on my looks and what I do for a living, is that right?"

I bit my lip but stayed quiet. It sounded horrible worded that way, I didn't even feel wholly in my heart that that was what I was doing, but I guess, technically, yes I was.

"I could say the same for you, you know. Look at you, Bella. You don't have to play onstage for a living and tour cities to be physically appealing to the opposite sex and get plenty of offers to make good on what your body looks like…" he said firmly.

"I'm sorry." it was all I could say. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, burying my face in his hair, it was the only way to hide the shamed look on my face from him, the furious blush of apology and embarrassment.

"You're just as tempting, you know." he breathed softly as he brought my face up from his shoulder. It took me a second to meet his eyes. He ran his hand down the curve of my back until it landed on the small of it, where he nudged me against him. He leaned in and traced his nose along my jaw, then peppered kisses to the spot below my ear where I could feel his breath trickle against me. "I don't care how inexperienced you think you are, none of that matters to me. We're the same, you and I, we're equals. That's a start, isn't it? We can take our time and learn and do it right." I merely nodded. There was something in the way he was speaking with the words he was saying… I felt a thrill go through me when I realized he meant we were going to stick this through. We really were going to give our relationship a shot. Tour or not, away or here, we'd work on it and make it happen. In fact, he was planning on it. I liked that the most.

I turned my face to look him in the eyes before I pressed my lips to his- for the umpteenth time since we came and sat out here it seemed. I didn't care. Too many kisses weren't enough from Edward. He kissed me back, licking at my lips. I granted his request and opened my mouth where my tongue gently sought out his, lovingly they slid against each other until I couldn't stand it. I pulled away to breathe, but Edward kept going and dropped his mouth to my neck, placing open mouthed, warm kisses on the skin there, his tongue barely darting out ever so often.

I gripped the back of his head by his hair. A small laugh escaped my lips.

"What's funny?" he asked, scolding me and teasingly nipping at my neck with his teeth. My legs involuntarily clenched around him before I answered, "Just that we're talking about being virgins and yet we can't keep our hands off each other during this whole conversation."

He paused a second, but then laughed light heartedly.

"You're right. That's kinda funny."

"Hilarious."

He grinned against my skin. "We're just experimenting together, that's all."

"speaking of that… since we are having this conversation… spill. Was there really no one else before me?" I asked. I was a little braver since things seemed to be going good, but at the back of my mind I was still a little apprehensive.

"I've never had a girlfriend, if that's what you're asking. No one's ever particularly interested me in that way… not until you. I can't even remember a time where I've been so physically attracted to someone that it consumed me."

"Consumed you?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"Mm, yes." he mumbled and licked at the soft spot on my neck where my pulse was before he nipped at it.

"Ohh…" my response came out a little breathy and faint.

"And you?" he asked, but I hardly registered that.. Not with his lips still working on my neck.

"Bella??" he asked, more firmly and coherently as he pulled away and looked me in the eyes, all business again.

"Huh? Oh…" I blushed. He waited patiently but I knew the suspense was killing him. "Just one." I finally answered.

"Oh.." he didn't sound disappointed, more curious and even though he was trying hard not to pry and stay casual, I know he was hinting at for me to continue. So I did.

"It was a while ago, but not that long, just some guy I met at community college. Things didn't last long at all. I don't know why I said yes to him. I think I just liked him enough, but not that much. I said yes just for the sake of having a boyfriend I guess. It was around the time Alice and Jasper became official finally… and I was curious as to what that was like… even though this guy was far from being a great catch, anyway… I just wanted to be able to say I've had a boyfriend." I shrugged as I finished explaining. Edward was listening intently.

"I guess you've never had something like that, have you?" I asked.

He looked down and thought about it. "Sort of. I guess you could say. But it's different from yours. I'm afraid… my reasoning… was… a bit more shallow, I'm ashamed to say."

I pretended not to panic. "Oh?" my turn to hint for him to continue. I listened closely to every word…

Edward took a deep breath and sighed before he continued. "It was on our last tour. We were just starting out and things were just starting to get big for the band. Emmett and I, somehow got into this conversation about women and… pleasing them. He said he didn't feel more like a man than when he was…" I fought back an amused smile as Edward cringed to say the next words, "pleasing Rosalie…" he shivered involuntary. I thought it was endearingly funny- but had to remember what he was getting at… "He said there was nothing like it. Being able to do that and knowing you can cause somebody to feel so great- even if just for a moment. He said the satisfaction from it was almost as great as feeling physical satisfaction firsthand. It was something like, taking pride in it, I guess, being able to do that…I don't know." he shook his head and shrugged. "I guess I could understand that. It was reasonable so I wondered…"

Uh oh. I almost didn't want him to finish the story. Please don't tell me that some woman was about to be so lucky as to experience pleasure by Edward all because of some conversation with his overtly physical band mate….

It should be a crime how ridiculously fortunate she was they had that talk and that it struck something uncharacteristic in Edward. Damn it.

"There was this girl on tour. I forgot what she was doing there… but her name was Gianna. She was cool enough. She talked to our band. After I had had that conversation with Emmett, I couldn't get it out of my mind. What he said kept nagging at me, in the back of my mind and popping up again every time I saw him with Rosalie. And I still remembered it when we went to this party. Everyone on tour getting together and hanging out and sort of thanking the people who put it together… I wanted to forget about what he said. I didn't like that it left me wondering… I didn't want it to change me or leave me feeling even more alone than I already did before. So… I uncharacteristically got drunk that night. I'm not sure if it was that bad… but I'm guessing, it probably was. There's no way I would've made the stupid decisions I did that night if it weren't for my current mental state… and so… Gianna and I, got to talking that night. Me and her more than ever. I don't think I'd ever even been alone with her before. So… the alcohol really played its part and… I ended up… experimenting… I was curious.. I wanted to know if what Emmett said was true… so… we went somewhere alone and we… I…"

I almost told him to stop, that I didn't need to know exactly what they did… but it was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I felt guilty for that though. Because there was something I had done too along that nature with my one ex boyfriend… and Edward was being honest with me here. I couldn't resent him for that. I could suck it up and listen and we'd both come out of this closer… with a better bond.

"You…?" I tried to help him along. Not only did he seem uncomfortable, it seemed his memory was failing him. He must've drank more than he thought if he couldn't remember the details. "Two hooked up?"

"In a way…" he muttered lowly, as if ashamed. Soothingly, I rubbed his chest and let my hand trail a little higher to his neck, my thumb brushing over the side. "Let's just say… I tried something that night with her. I tested out Emmett's statements for myself…"

He still seemed a little put off about the subject.

"But…. You're still a virgin?" I asked, a little confused and anxious.

"Yeah, definitely. I… what we did… well, it was more about her than me I guess you could say. I was in it to see if it was true… to satisfy curiosity if anything… but she was the only one on the receiving end of things, if you know what I'm saying…" he winced.

"Oh. Okay. I get it." I muttered.. I was relieved… but as I looked down at his hands, I think I understood more than ever what he was saying… but at least this Gianna girl didn't see any part of Edward that I hadn't already…

But even if she had, I couldn't be so mad. He didn't know me then and I didn't even dream of ever being in a situation with him where stuff like this matters…

"Edward…" I said as I sighed, "You don't have to feel bad about it. We're still… even." I whispered.

His head shot up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I kinda got into the same situation with that boyfriend I had back in school…" I lifted my eyes up to meet his cautiously. He was steady and willing to listen. But the stories were already similar- minus being so drunk on my part and he overwhelming curiosity and wanting to test a theory he had felt.

"I wasn't curious or anything. I sort of just… I don't know. I don't know how to explain it without saying it out right.." I blushed furiously. I was embarrassed beyond relief. More just because I had to say it out loud, than because I was admitting it to Edward. I feared the words sounding ridiculous coming from my mouth when I'm sure Edward could say anything with the right tone and inflection to make the most unsexy words sound appealing..

His brows furrowed, worried more for my well being than he did for what I was about to confess I think. "Just… say it then… or… you don't have to tell me…"

"No, it's much the same as you. I.. used my hand to…well, he was the only one to receive anything that night. You know…"

"Oh." he looked away then.

"Yeah… the relationship ended shortly after that anyway. So that's as far as things got… not like I was wanting them to go farther anyway. The whole relationship in itself was just unsatisfying. Didn't fill any kind of void." I explained, feeling more comfortable with getting it off my chest, but still a little tense. After a moment I said, "Seems like we have another thing in common…"

"Sexual inexperience? You gotcha."

I laughed. "it's not just that…"

"Then what?"

"We both felt unsatisfied with our lives until we found what we were looking for when we weren't looking for it. In the most unsuspecting place ever."

He looked up at me then, with a warm loving? Look in his eyes.

After a moment of his silence I feared I said too much and spoke for him… "I mean, right? At least on my part, I don't know about you-"

"No. that was exactly right, Bella."

"Honestly?"

"Really honestly." he smiled and leaned in and kissed the corner of my lips tenderly, I smiled beneath them.

When he pulled away I looked all over his face. I couldn't get enough. I would never be sick of that face. Ever.

It hit me then, things could run smoothly now. It was all said and out in the open… we understood and knew each other like never before…. And instead of feeling awkward and exposed, I felt satisfied and exposed. Sometimes it was good to be exposed. I felt confident about Edward getting to know the real me, and holding nothing back when it came to how I felt about him. I wanted to be there for him and shower him with affection. I wanted to love him.

Love him? Did I just unconsciously think that out loud in my mind?

I felt my heart rate pick up; no feeling scared. Or yes, it's okay to feel scared, as long as you don't run away from it.

And look where not running away got me- in the lap of the beautiful Edward Cullen, who was looking at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eye like he was contemplating something conniving.

"Hey…" he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "looks like the lights on the bus are off…" I turned my head and looked behind us. Indeed they were. Emmett and Rosalie must've left it a while ago.

"What do you say we lock ourselves in there? Alone in the dark?"

My breathing sped and my heart soared with the idea alone- but what got me even more was the distinct feel of his mouth near my skin, and his hands that were currently rubbing circles into the small of my back.

I managed to be able to look up at him, pulling his chin up to look me in the eyes.

"Yes, please."


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry guys, real life comes first and it's been a struggle around here. Thank you for sticking with the story if you read this, and reviewing and checking for updates. Sincerely thank you- and for being so patient!**

Edward and I walked back to their bus soundly. We didn't speak a single word, just walked with a sole mission on our minds- get to that bus. For every stride of his, I had to take two steps, but I kept up the pace and followed along at his side and looked ahead as the distance between us and our destination grew smaller every second. He held my hand and I gripped it tightly, holding on to him. I felt I was in for a ride- but what kind of ride I didn't know. I had that jumbly, mixing, unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. Swirling with apprehension, anticipation, excitement, fear, anxiety, thrill, nerves, affection… all of that. All from the idea of being alone in a bus with Edward.

When we got there, he unlocked the door, allowing me to enter before him. In silence, he followed up the steps behind me, holding onto the rail, his other hand rested in a guiding way on the small of my back as I climbed in before him. I stopped in the center aisle of the tour bus and looked down the aisle to the dark, back of the bus. It looked both ominous and appealing.

When I turned back around, Edward was standing right behind me. Our bodies weren't touching, but his eyes were scanning me cautiously, yet almost wildly as our eyesight adjusted to the darkness. My eyes darted away from his for a split second to see that the bus door was indeed locked. Edward took a step forward then, I had to walk forward as well. For a second I wondered what we were really doing in here. As he lead me farther down the hall, I glanced sideways to the bed bunks. Would we go there? Would we both be able to fit in one? If so, wouldn't that be a little claustrophobic?… analyzing it more, I decided we could probably fit.. But I was distracted by the fact that Edward was leading me past them. He kept on, not even glancing toward the bunks and kept his hand on my back, slowly leading me down further. My eyes scanned the remaining of the bus excitedly. They landed on the bathroom door. We wouldn't go there would we?

As if Edward could read my thoughts, he laughed softly to himself at some unspoken amusement I most likely caused within him, and side stepped to move past me.

"Over here." he smiled lightly, affectionately, and took my hand and lead us down to the darkest part of the bus. Past the bathroom, and behind a sort of small, wall divider, was a semi open space. A small room of sorts was the only way I could describe it, seeing as we were on a bus, not in an actual building or apartment. Edward let go of my hand so he could pull something down from the wall. What I thought previously was some sort of door, pulled down from the wall to become a pull out mattress. A small mattress, a little bigger than a cot, but no bigger than a twin size bed. I watched perplexedly as he adjusted it and folded it down. When he turned back around to me, his eyes were gentle, not at all predatory or hungry and ready for action like some other guy would be. He simply smiled lightly and his green eyes were sparkling and dark in the night, going over the features of my face as mine were him.

"Spare bed for whenever. We don't really use it. We all stick to our bunks since it'd sort of be unfair for just one of us to have it- or for Em and Rose to share it, seeing as it's more comfortable than the bunk beds are… so no one takes it. Occasionally we'll let Emmett have it if his back is killing him, but that's about it. It comes in handy, though, you could say, I guess." I smirked at the last part. He laughed a little back and smiled.

Pursing my lips, I moved forward, past him to sit down on the newly pulled out bed. No blankets were on it. No pillows. Just a simple bed sheet spread over the entire surface.

Edward watched me a moment, as if unsure to join me. As a hint, I leaned back further onto the mattress, settling in the middle of it and kicking off my shoes with a grin. Edward gave me his crooked smile and came forward. First, he sunk his knee into the bed, leaning on it partially, until something within him clicked and told him it really was okay to join me. Then he kneeled there on the mattress, his shoes I heard fall to the floor. After, he grinned again, a little deviously and leaned down, his palms into the bed surface, one hand on either side of my legs spread out on the bed. He crawled upwards and over me. Without realizing I was doing it, I laid down, my eyes still watching him above me. All traces of his smile were gone, and I'm sure my features were wiped clean as well.

When he was finally face to face above me, he froze, as if unsure what to do next. I was a little frozen myself- but I got over it. I didn't want him to feel anxiety or be unsure, so I took the initiative of doing something. I brought a hand up to wrap around a bicep of his. Perfectly flexed and firm as he held up his own weight so he wouldn't crush me.

But I want him to crush me- I thought in my mind. Why can't Edward see that, too? I searched his face for what he was thinking but I couldn't really find anything… I bent one of my legs at the knee and pressed it into his side, trying to find the best and most graceful way to wrap it around his waist to pull him on top of me… Edward's eyes never left mine, and so he watched my face as slowly, so slowly I thought I was going to die with impatience, he lowered himself down onto me. But he was too light, the action was too light, I could hardly feel him, none of his weight. Although he was closer, his face just inches from mine, his weight was still just ghosted above me. We were pressed together in a sense, because we were touching, but he still didn't relax completely. His elbows on either side of me still held himself. I bit my lip, in a nervous try to get what I wanted, I wrapped both legs around him, loosely locked by my ankles. I watched his eyes slightly bulge as I squeezed him in between my thighs, wondering how tight and how hard I could squeeze him with my legs. It didn't seem like it could ever be tight enough, like he could ever be pressed hard enough against me, especially in this position….

And we hadn't even done anything yet. And I already wanted everything. Was that bad?…

Edward licked his lips as he looked down at where we were joined, my legs around his waist, pulling him onto me- I realized his arms were where the problem was, though. I grabbed his hands and moved them to my waist…

At first with an expression in his face I couldn't exactly read, I thought he was going to protest, but something in him, some other side seemed to win out whatever he was fighting internally and he gave in. His large palms kneaded the skin on my waist and hips, darting under my shirt, lifting it up partially and letting it stay that way. I threaded my fingers through his hair, messing it more. With a content sigh he finally dropped his head to the crook of my neck. Slightly moist, warm lips started to place kisses all over my neck down to my collar bone. My hands left his hair for the small of his back, pressing him into me before they darted up his shirt. He was so warm underneath and the smooth skin of his back, the muscles moving as he moved above me…

All of it (and it wasn't even that much) was overwhelming me already. I didn't even have control of my actions anymore… or my sounds. Just as Edward's hands slipped farther up my shirt, just below my bra, resting on my stomach, his mouth more insistent on my skin, kissing and sucking, I let out a whimper. My legs rubbing and pressed up against his sides as I squirmed lightly beneath him. There was a new ache in my center that was only being driven crazy with Edward on top of me.

Edward's breathing picked up as he placed a quick kiss on my lips only to return to my neck again. I felt his tongue on my skin, his lips sucking and caressing one spot. I'm sure I'd have a mark but at the moment my clouded mind didn't care. My own breathing sped at the sensation of his mouth and his hands. His thumb was sweeping across the underwire of my bra, as if he was tempted to go further, wanted to, but couldn't exactly bring himself to do it. He occupied himself with other things- his lips returned to mine. He kissed me feverishly, causing another small sound of pleasure to escape me. His lips and tongue worked mine open and our tongues met, sliding sensually along each other, fanning the flames to the burn I was already feeling deep inside me. All the while his hands were still dangerously close to the swells of my breasts, but not close enough. I arched my back and pressed upwards, hoping to curve myself in a way to where I had to fit in his hands. The eager movement caused a low groan to escape him, his hips impulsively bucking into me. That movement alone sent a shock that rocketed through my whole body. A needy moan escaped me as I attempted to rub my hips back, to reciprocate that wonderful friction.

But it wasn't allowed. Edward broke his lips away, breathing wildly. He attempted to extricate himself from me, but with confusion and determination, I held my legs tighter around his waist, pulling his hips down to mine again with more force than either of us thought I probably had.

"What? What's wrong?.." I searched his face for an answer. He still looked bothered, which was somewhat of a relief, but he seemed also troubled.

"I… ugh. I don't mean to…I don't know how to explain," he looked away.

"Explain what?" I sat up and cradled the side of his face with my hand. It surprised me how eager I was to keep him here on top of me, whatever we were doing I didn't want it to end yet. Not yet. Not with him leaving tonight.

Or maybe that was why he wanted to stop it. He was leaving, wasn't he? Tonight was there last night in Washington.

I felt panic wash over.

Oh no.

What if everything he ever said or told me was a lie? Just to get me here… in this bus? And what if he was backing out, just felt too guilty to go all the way with it, so better to stop it now and save his conscience and my virtue because he wasn't coming back. And I wasn't going with him. There wasn't going to be a relationship.

I was just a groupie wasn't I? I was just an easy, music girl to lay.

And look how easy it would've been for him to have it. If he hadn't stopped it, he would've gotten it.

I felt sick to myself. I felt… embarrassed. Ashamed. Stupid. Easy. Most of all I felt pretty fucking easy. I think that was worst of all.

I looked down at where we were still touching, connecting, where he was still partially on top of me…

I sat up, my palms in the mattress and began to get up as sobs choked my throat.

"Oh my…" I couldn't even finish my sentence. My voice was too weak and airy. I didn't trust myself to talk and not to cry.

"Bella??" he questioned, this time touching my face. "No. it's not that. How could you even think it was something bad?" as if he could read my mind. Or maybe my horrified expression gave enough away to him for him to think I probably had the wrong idea..

I didn't know.

"Bella…" he insisted, pushing me back down by my shoulders gently. "It's not that, love." he kissed me softly all over my face all the way down to my collar bone. He always completely covered whatever he could with kisses. In the short time we've "been together" I could see the pattern now.

Were we together? It's like everything that happened outside the bus was far and distant in my memory. I had a hard time remembering everything now.

"then why'd you stop?" I whispered, allowing myself to lay still as he leaned above me.

"because I would've kept going. When I suggested we come here I didn't mean for us to… get caught up, get so carried away… I only meant to-"

"we didn't get caught up. We hardly did anything-"

"Because I stopped us before we really got carried away… I would've kept going.."

"I wanted you to keep going." I turned my face to the side, not meeting his eyes. I could feel my cheeks burn with a blush.

"I know." he muttered and sighed exasperatedly. "That's the worst part. I really wouldn't have been able to have any self control if I let you keep leading us."

"and what's so wrong with me leading us?" my voice rose a bit, irritation seeping through and anger.

"because Bella… coming to this bus I didn't mean for us… I don't want us to do anything too personal here. It's a bus. A dirty, used, tour bus that's seen cheap affairs over and over again. That's not us." he shook his head.

I scoffed. "Then why?-"

He sighed and dropped down to me, for the first time I felt his weight, not all of it, but enough to know he was resting on me, relaxed and comfortable. "Because I just wanted to be alone with you. And steal a few kisses." he mumbled into the hollow of my throat. He laughed softly to himself a few seconds later, I felt the vibrations and his body silently shaking on top of me.

I smiled at his bronze hair, the only part of his head I could see with his face pressed onto the skin of my chest, keeping me warm. I pulled and played with a few strands as I thought of what he was saying. It made sense. And it made me care for him even more. Again he was showing me he was a better person than I originally thought. He was always getting continually better, even when I thought he was perfect already.

It made me feel worse about myself. More shallow. He was the gorgeous one and less shallow than I was. Just moments ago I was too caught up in his gorgeous exterior and what he was making me feel to think about how we were both fairly new at this- and that maybe we should take our time and explore and learn somewhere else. Where we were truly alone. It would be more….

I didn't want to use the word "special," that would be cliché, but you know what I mean…

It would be like that. If we took our time.

At least I could be glad he really was the person he said he was. And I wasn't going to be some used and tosses groupie. This was real.

When I thought of it that way, in depth, I couldn't be mad. Mad at myself maybe, for rushing and getting so easily distracted, but not mad at him. Not really. Even though he was with holding that talented mouth of his and his hands, I couldn't be mad. He was right.

"I feel so stupid now."

"Why?" he laughed, looking up at me, curious.

"Because… I'm embarrassed. I got so carried away-"

"Really??" he raised an eyebrow, a sexy crooked smile making its way onto his features. The expression made me laugh.

"Shut up! You know what I mean."

"Are you saying I was so distractingly good you couldn't control what you were doing?"

"Something like that. Maybe."

He smiled softly, amused. "I almost lost it back there too…"

I rolled my eyes. "But you didn't."

He scoffed. "Not completely.. But.."

"But what?" I challenged.

He bit his lip. His eyes became half lidded as he leaned in closer to me while his body crawled higher up, his hand found its place again under my shirt….

It slid slowly, sensually up my belly until it reached the underwire of my bra again.

"This…was driving me crazy." he accentuated his point by moving his fingers delicately across the material of the cup of my bra. "Just trying to picture it… it feels like lace. The whole time I was kissing your neck I was wondering, it was driving me crazy… what color, and how you would look in it… but I couldn't exactly just take your shirt off." as he spoke his breath lingered against my lips, I found myself watching them as he talked.

"You could have." I answered. "You still can…" I muttered against his mouth.

My own hand came between us, reaching for the hem of my shirt…. Edward watched me cautiously, I'm sure the conversation we just had replaying through his mind. I hadn't forgotten. And I wasn't going to get overtly carried away either…

I just wanted to drive him…. More crazy. If that was possible. If I was even capable of being remotely tempting when I wanted to. Edward seemed to do it all the time unconsciously.

He gulped, and at first I thought he was going to stop me, but he looked me in the eyes and I think I was able to tell him to trust me. I couldn't be sure, but he didn't fight me all the same.

I moved a little beneath him, somewhat out of necessity to creep the hem of my shirt slowly up my torso, and somewhat on purpose to get a reaction from him. My legs were on either sides of his hips again, and he was nestled comfortably in between. His eyes stayed fixed on the work I was doing. I got my shirt as high as to the point of my bra, just about to reveal, but he didn't even let me finish that. With a sigh of surrender he crashed down to me and gripped my waist with his hands. He kissed up my stomach, licking his lips against my skin and sucking softly here and there on the flesh. My breathing was fast again, I managed to get my shirt up just past my bra, but not actually off me completely. I left it there, I couldn't move. I was frozen- yet completely conscious- of where things had turned again.

Finally, I felt Edward's nose skim the bottom edge of my bra. His eyes were closed at first, anticipating almost. Then he lifted his eyes and even pulled back a little to get a better look. I watched his face contort with want and he groaned, leaning back down. I was surprised when I watched and felt his hands come up to cup my breasts. Gently at first, still examining as if I was breakable too. I watched his eyes rake over my chest- appreciatively? I was starting to blush he was staring so much. I wasn't uncomfortable, I just couldn't believe I could have that affect… was that possible?

"You're beautiful, Bella… too beautiful." the last part he muttered, I wasn't sure if it was more to himself or to me. It made my heart ache a little for him. Didn't he know that I thought he was too beautiful, too?

I caressed his face for a moment, before arching my back and bringing my breasts closer to his face. It wasn't my intention, but it worked out. He groaned and his hands fully took my breasts. He cupped them then moved on to more firmly kneading and rubbing and grabbing and holding. My back arched further, offering and allowing and wanting him to continue as my head fell back, my eyes closed and a needy sound escaped my throat.

"This color's lovely on you…" his voice broke the silence- or rather interrupted our labored breathing and moving, it was a huskier tone, "but it's not just that… you're beautiful."

He brought his lips down to kiss the very tops of my breasts, not coming near anything vital. He may not have trusted himself, but he kept caressing me. As he went on I became more daring, breaking a little more past the conversation we had just had, but not quite, just enough to satisfy my selfish side- I ground my hips into his center, looking to satisfy or temporarily relieve something in mine. It only made it worse, for the both of us. Edward's hands became more firm and his hips more insistent against his own will, which only caused soft moans to leave me. Underneath my bra, my peaks were aching for his attention. I bit my lip in frustration, pressing to be closer to him. Edward felt it too.

"We have to stop Bella…" his voice was more severe, rougher, like a warning. I moaned in protest. It was my fault, I started it. Leave it to Edward to end it. "We have to stop… I have to you, you need to stop… I can't take it. We just talked about this. Not here not now…. Ugh, but I want…" he broke off, his eyes on my body… my heart raced with what he was going to say. "to suck on you," to show what he meant, his thumb moved across my nipple through the cup of my bra, "to lick and bite…" he muttered under his breath. He groaned in frustration and fell on top of me again, his mouth on my neck. I felt his teeth rake against my skin. It was so arousing I almost didn't hear the loud pound on the door of the bus.

Edward froze. I didn't know he could be so still.

"Edward?"

But he didn't answer. He let out the breath he had been holding. He lifted himself off of me and laid on his back. It was definitely like a cold bucket of water had been poured on him. Completely erasing and ruining everything. Or perhaps- it saved us.

"Edward??" I asked, more urgent. I sat up and pulled my shirt down and back over my chest. I shook his shoulder lightly. He had one arm resting over his forehead, almost covering his eyes.

He turned to look at me.

"It must be time to hit the road." he said softly. I saw everything I had known the last couple of days leave me, as he spoke that sentence.

And then my phone lit up and rang on the mattress, where it must've fallen out. Edward's eyes darted to it too. I grabbed it quickly.

"It's Alice."

"It is time to leave…" he spoke aloud, as if his suspicions were confirmed.

What do we do now?

But instead of asking him aloud, I only thought it, as worry and anxiety overcame me, I got up and gathered my things. Edward did not move. He didn't stop me.

**Please review!!! Let me know what you think of this chapter, where it's going, how the action was…. ;) thank you so much for reading! Sorry for the wait again.**


	21. Chapter 21

Edward

"Bella…" I called, almost desperate. I was surprised by the way my voice sounded, even to myself. I sat up from the mattress, slightly dizzy as my head rushed at what was happening. I watched Bella's retreating form. She rose up from where we were laying, got her stuff, all without turning around to look at me. It was as if she was taking a cue to leave. I felt like I was running out of time. Didn't have time to explain.

Wait.

Was the word resounding in my head.

Stay.

Was another frequent thought.

But Bella kept going. How could I voice what I wanted? It would scare her. It was… impossible. It would freak her out. Bella was a reasonable, rational human being. Or so it seemed. I couldn't very well ask her to do what I wanted to. How could I even bring up the idea? The temptation? Would it even be a temptation? Or would she just see it as utterly insane? Would she laugh in my face and tell me that I was crazy? Would she scoff at me? And get out of here as fast as she could, realizing there was no way in my right mind that I could be serious.

But I was serious. That was the scary thing. Deadly serious.

I wanted her to stay with me.

Our tour may be leaving, but I didn't want to leave Bella. Would she think less of me if I asked her… to join us?

After all, you never know unless you try. I had to ask. But I couldn't. didn't know how. And I was afraid.

But really, was that worse than letting her think she meant less to me? By not offering some type of resolution to this impending separation. I had to at least let her know I didn't want to go.

I got up in a rush and pushed off the mattress and went to her. She was near the center aisle of the bus, passing through the bunk beds determinedly. I reached her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Wait."

"What, Edward?" she seemed tense, her voice shaky, but her eyes fiercely held back tears. I could tell she was upset, maybe even angry at me or herself by the tone of her voice, practically snapping at me. I knew I had to make it better.

We didn't just start this to have it end. Everything we had already gone through over the last couple of days.. The ups and downs, the obstacles, looking back on it, it seemed like a lot. How could those few days seem so stretched out and yet the precious hours we spent together so short? Regardless, we were exclusive now. I had never been exclusive, serious, with anybody. Surely that meant something. And that this wasn't going to end.

"Wait, please stay. Just a while longer." I pleaded.

"Just a while longer? How much time do you think we have?" her tone was accusatory, her eyes burning into mine to see if I had lost my mind. "you guys are leaving. The bus is going. I live here. You don't. so how much longer do you expect me to stay? I have to go. My friends are waiting for me."

"You say you have to go, but do you really want to?"

"Yes. If everything we talked about before is void now because you're leaving."

"Bella, how could you think that?!" I yelled, getting angry now. For some reason I felt attacked. Like she was always doubting me, even when I was nothing but sincere. It felt like secretly, in the back of her mind, she never really trusted me. And that bothered me. I couldn't have that.

"I just… I feel like it's all too good to be true. I just- look at you. Look at me-"

"Stop. Enough with that. I can see you and I can see me. Yes, I know you can do better. I feel like I'm barely hanging onto you by a thread." she looked shocked to hear this, she staggered back from my words, her brown eyes wide and shining, her luscious lips slightly parted.

"Edward, that's not-"

"Please listen." I interrupted. "we're official now. Are we not? Look I want to be with you. And I thought we made that clear this was worth a trying shot. I know we're leaving. But personally, I can't leave until I know what's going to happen to us. If you're okay with this. I can't go and I can't let you go unless you tell me you'll wait for me."

"Wait for you?" her voice dropped to a whisper. Slowly, she took a step toward me, unconsciously drawn near me. The look in her eyes softened, but she seemed sadder now, dismal. The sight broke my heart. I nodded, my lips pursed in thought. I reached out and placed my hand on her elbow, anchoring her to me in an embrace. We stood near, brushing each other, but not touching as much as I'd like.

"Yes. I hoped you'd wait for me. That you'd be here when I came home, that the exclusiveness still stands, even when we're miles away."

Bella was looking down, just listening to my words. Of course there was another option to our problem, but I was too afraid to bring it up.

I was cut out of my thoughts by the feel of Bella's arms being wrapped around my middle, her face nuzzling into my shirt and chest.

"Can I trust you, even when you're miles away?" she mimicked my tone, but was being playful, the crooked, tired smirk on her face told me so, but her eyes voiced that it was still a legitimate concern.

"With all your heart." I answered, feeling my chest swell with an affection for her I couldn't quite name yet. A little more than smitten, stronger than like. I felt the need to disperse any fears she may have. Instead of telling her it was a ridiculous worry, I pulled her in with my arms wrapped around her and kissed her on top of her head. I felt her smile against me rather than see it for myself.

"Then… of course I'll wait, Edward. Whatever you ask me, whatever you want." she sighed, her hands running over my back in the embrace.

Whatever I ask, whatever I want.

That fact, those words- her words- resounded with me, repeating over in my head. For some reason I had this nagging feeling, tugging on the back of my mind. Almost like intuition, instinct…

Just say it, ask her. But I couldn't. I had already been selfish. Asking her would just be a step beyond that. Bella had a life here- before me. Before she ever knew me. I couldn't rip out the foundation of what she already knew, what was hers. I couldn't ask her to leave her world in order to join mine, where I was most comfortable. I couldn't have everything. One or the other. If I had both I would just be proving myself a spoiled brat.

So I couldn't ask. It wasn't my place to ask such a thing. Even though I wanted it. A lot.

We left the bus, only to find most of the tour and buses packed up, ready to go. A lot of people were standing together in a general area of the parking lot, the party clearly over, everything settled down.

I spotted Emmett sitting on a parking block, Rosalie standing in front of him, his legs spread and making room for her between them. A little farther back, giving them space, was Alice and Jasper. He was looking down at the black haired girl, the moon reflecting off her inky hair, and casting Jasper's blonde hair into more of a silver color.

I looked over at Bella. Her features paler from the moonlight, but no less radiant. If anything she seemed to glow fairly, her cheeks and lips the only remaining color. The color of a soft, muted rose. At that instant I had an urge. I leaned down midstep and swiped her chin, tilting her face up to me and planting my lips on hers. She seemed surprised but didn't fight me on it and of course kissed me back, which gave me more pleasure than any small kiss ever should. She allowed me to move my lips with hers, but just as I swiped my tongue and licked at her pout, she pulled away with a small, bashful laugh and an all new blush, all of it effectively making me smile.

We joined our friends. Emmett was giving me a look that said he wanted to talk to me. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't even want to look and see what was in Rosalie's expression- so I didn't and I tried not to notice the longing look Bella seemed to have for her friends. Even though they didn't know it, they were like a beckon, or an anchor, keeping her here. They were one reason, I'm sure of many, why she'd have to stay, even if I asked her to leave with us. The way she looked at them- with familiarity and love- made me almost shutter with gratitude. Grateful I hadn't been irrational and asked her to come along on tour. I had saved myself the humiliation, the rejection, when she'd have to tell me no. I also felt the slightest bit of resentment. I tried not to let it show in my eyes, when we joined Alice and Jasper. I occupied myself with jamming my hands into my jean pockets, not daring to look at Jasper and his blond haired head and want to shake it, wring it off his neck with the frustration I was feeling. The sudden, irrational, reckless jealousy I had because Bella had friends and probably family she cared about more than me. If because she only knew them better, longer, or what, I couldn't be sure or if I'd ever find that out.

I just wanted to keep Bella. So I could build my own history with her, and prove to be most important.

She was already my priority.

"So you two kids ready to go?" Alice asked. Then sort of winced, realizing she didn't choose the best words. I looked to Bella. Something flickered across her face for the smallest second. As if something were wrong, but she had to remind herself not to think of it- that things could always be worse or something. Or I don't know. I probably read too much into everything she does.

Bella shrugged it off like a pro. She looked up and smiled at me, and I smiled back, putting my arm around her shoulder, my hand coming around to the dip where her shoulder met her neck, my fingers brushing the smooth skin there. I thought I saw her shudder. For a second I was extremely happy with myself, but that didn't change the current situation.

"As ready as we'll ever be." she answered Alice's question. She stepped into my side and wrapped her arms around my waist.

A moment of silence past. She looked up at me, her dark lashes fanning for a second, her eyes willing to communicate something to me I couldn't quite figure out. I'm sure my answering gaze was questioning, if not confused. After that moment, she seemed to surrender something, dismissing her will, or previous want.

"Will you ride back in the car with us? Or do you have to go… right now?" she dared to ask.

"I'd like to be able to take you home. I don't know though. It all depends on if Emmett and them can make it out of their way to pick me up at your place…" I saw something darken in her eyes as I said this. Sadden. "Or I suppose I could take a cab back." that brilliant idea hit me quickly to get her disappointed look away.

"Are you sure? I understand-"

"Bella, I want to say goodbye to my girlfriend." I interrupted her, with my finger on her lips. She beamed.

"Why do you have to say goodbye though? I don't necessarily like goodbyes…"

"Should I rephrase that then? To farewell? See you later, sugar? We'll be in touch, honey?"

"Yeah any of those lovely alternatives would be nice." she grinned.

"I couldn't agree more." I smiled crookedly back. But I actually couldn't agree. As in at all- could not agree. What would be nicer- better- greater- was if I didn't have to say anything at all. Because I wouldn't be leaving. You wouldn't be leaving me. In a perfect world I wouldn't even have to ask you, we'd just know and it would be decided. There would be no fear of rejection.

But I would take what I could get.

And so Alice drove us home, giving Jasper a break from the driving duties. The ride back was silent. I was more than happy and content to sit in the back with Bella, pressed as closely together as we could be within the confines of the backseat. She was practically in my lap, her legs on top of mine, and the rest of her curled up into my side with my arm around her. She stared up at me the whole ride home, making me blush whenever she looked at me a certain way. Surprisingly it was making me a bit self conscious here and there, and other times ashamed for the way I looked… if the way I looked was what was getting me those looks from Bella. It was like a double edged sword. I was glad she could somehow find me so attractive, but at the same time, I almost felt vulnerable so exposed.

The car ride seemed surprisingly long, which I was ever thankful for. But it made me appreciate the time I had left nonetheless.

Bella kept reaching up, kissing my neck, the only thing she could reach without me having to move or readjust. I liked it and found it endearing- but also absolutely maddening. By the time we reached the freeway exit to get to her house, I felt dizzy and numb, drunk off of the girl sitting next to me.

When we reached her house- I didn't have to look up to know. I felt it in the way Bella squeezed my hand. The way she tensed- just the tiniest bit.

Alice and Jasper were quick with dropping us off. They were tired and it seemed they didn't want to intrude either. Of course there was always the fact that they were a couple too and maybe all they wanted to do was get to their own home together. Whatever it was it made it easier.

I walked Bella to her door. But to my surprise, she didn't want to go inside.

"Let's stay out here. Just for a little bit. We can see when they come to get you." she reasoned, sitting down on her porch swing, offering me a hand to join her. I took it and sat next to her. Quiet. All I could hear was the quiet. The night. If the night had a sound surely this would be it. It was the not so heavy quiet, just heavy enough. A silent pressure. Brought on by darkness and stars and grass and trees in the distance, sitting next to the girl you loved.

Loved. Or possibly loved. Did it really matter now? Maybe it was too late, but the thought scared me so I forced it out of my mind.

"What's wrong? You're so quiet." she spoke, holding onto my arm, her hand curling around my bicep. I kept looking straight ahead. No answer. There was an air of desperateness that I couldn't quite pin. Couldn't name its source- either me or her- one of the two. Bella acted on it first, even though I was sure I was the one mostly feeling it.

She pushed herself to me. Her lips latching onto a sweet spot on my neck, just below my jaw- I imagine where my pulse would be. Just as I could hear and feel her breath and mouth start to make their way up to my ear, I pulled away.

"Don't kiss me." I muttered. She pulled back as if slapped. Sensing the urgency, I turned to her to correct myself- mortified and ashamed.

"No- it's not that. It's never what you think-" I protested, as I grabbed her wrists like my hands were cuffs. It was too late though, her eyes had already formed tears.

"What's wrong with you?" she accused, her glare more furious but still hurt. Mad at the rejection, resentful I suppose.

"Bella I just can't deal with…. With you. With you kissing me. Touching me. All night since the car ride… not when I'm going to be leaving. I can't stand knowing what I'm going to be missing out on- possibly for months- having it thrown in my face- as if you're telling me to stay when I know, we know, I can't."

"That's not fair. It isn't my fault. I never asked you to stay here with me. Hold you back. So why are you putting this on me? What do you want me to do? Ask you to stay with me? Is that it? Beg you? It's not the fact if you actually can or will, just the fact that you want me to ask. So you can see my life will be miserable without you? My sad, sorry, daily life will go back to just the way it was with you gone… No. that's a lie. It'll be better. Because like you said, like we agreed, I said I'd wait for you. If you can wait so can I. We have something to look forward to. As long as you think we can do it… or what? You don't think that now?…" she was shaking her head, trying to figure me out while I could barely pay attention. I'm not proud, but I just wanted to devour her. Almost eat her alive if I could.

"No, Bella. No." I refused with conviction. "I want…"

I looked away, blinking, breathing as if I had been running. Furious.

"You want… what?"

"I want you to stay with me. I don't want you to wait. I don't ever want you to wait. I want you to be with me." I told her, as gently, but assertively as I could. I took her hands in mine and turned to face her. The street light from across the street pouring white light onto both of our faces. Like her porch steps were a stage, the light, a spotlight, and we were the only two players out there, our own troupe, the only actors with lines that mattered to each other. Affected the other.

I wasn't sure if she got what I was saying. But I didn't bother with that quite yet. I closed the distance between us and brushed my lips against hers. She looked a little confused at my actions, my words, rightfully- considering what I had put her through just within the last minutes. Her eyes didn't close like I wanted them to, she was still guarded.

"You can kiss me now." I breathed, looking into her eyes.

"Do what you want. I don't know where you're going with any-"

I cut her off with my mouth. My hands on either side of her face, tangled in her hair, my lips insistent on hers. I just felt so desperate, needing to kiss her, make her mine. Make her understand.

Our lips molded and moved just like they always did, but different. I licked at her lip for entrance and she granted. My tongue slid with hers and I almost melted. I was too frantic to stay with any one thing though, no matter how good it felt. I pulled away to suck her bottom lip into my mouth, after in return she traced the outline of my lips with her perfect tongue. When my mouth fully met hers again, the kiss lasted a little longer until I had gotten more heated than I intentioned. We pushed ourselves away only for the necessity of air. After all I needed the breath to be able to say,

"I want you to leave and come on tour with me."

**Let me know how it was guys! I know it's been a long time since the last update. Please review! Thanks for reading!!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry for the long wait again… it's been busy here. I hope you like the update just the same. It wasn't planned out or anything, just inspired all of a sudden and thought I'd go for it : )**

_**Dove, by Castledoor**_

_we're leaving with an open mindwe're leaving cause the cities we've lived in don't shine_

_so now it's to the other side_

_we're following a dove who found the sign of life_

_stay, will you stay constantly_

_will you stay with me_

_and all the places we'll go_

_we don't have to know_

_every song doesn't have to rhyme_

_and every step that we take isn't on a tightrope_

_so don't look down before you dive_

_the bottom of the dream is what takes us up so high_

_stay, will you stay constantly_

_will you stay with me_

_pack it up, pack it up we're leaving_

_with you i'll always stay_

_no matter what it's something to believe in_

_with you i'll always stay_

_and all the places we'll go_

_we don't have to know_

_we're going where_

_where the wind will steer_

_we're going where_

_we can beat our fears_

_we're going where_

_we'll make some babies and teach them how to love_

_we're going where_

_there's the largest zoo_

_we're going where_

_all our friends can be too_

_we're going where_

_we have no choice but to open our doors with love_

_lets open the doors_

_pack it up, pack it up we're leaving_

_with you i'll always stay_

_no matter what it's something to believe in_

_with you i'll always stay_

_and all the places we'll go_

_we don't have to know_

I froze. What did he just say? I turned towards him, my eyes staring into his, searching… had I heard him right?

Yes.

Was my immediate answer. Of course I thought that in my head. But could I really say yes to this? Of course I could… but responsibly, realistically… could I say yes? I had to think this through. Even though my automatic, instinctual, gut answer was positive- I had to think it through. It wouldn't be right to blurt out the first thing that came to mind and give him an answer if I would be forced to take it back later.

So quickly, I ran through all the possible things in my mind that should stop me saying yes to Edward.

One: my job. Alice had said something that she had gotten me some time off work- but that couldn't be more than a week or two… and if I went with Edward, my job may very well not be here when I get back…

Two: Charlie. What would he think? What would he say? I've never so much as said a guy was cute in his presence before. How in the hell was I supposed to tell him I was leaving with my boyfriend to go on tour? HIS tour! Btw dad, he's the lead singer. Isn't that sweet or what??

No. definitely not the right way to go about that.

Three: my friends… well, Alice and Jasper. I'm sure they'd be supportive. Maybe even encourage I go… but could I really live without them? They were my best friends… of course I could always call. But it's not like I'd be lonely. I'd have Edward… but he can't possibly always be there every second by my side… and even when he would be- I wasn't too sure about how I would fit in with the rest of the group… Emmett I could possibly handle… but Rosalie… and not to mention all the miscellaneous tour people like Tanya… thinking about it now, they all seemed scary. I'd definitely feel a little lost and lonely without Alice by my side.

But Edward.

Edward would be enough, wouldn't he?

For a brief second, I wondered if I were the one touring, the one in a band, he'd do this for me wouldn't he? He wouldn't be a baby and consider not going just because he was afraid of the scary, crazy intimidating blonde chick in the band.

One, two, three…

Wait a minute… were there really only three reasons as to why I should say no? that's it? I went back in my head and counted them all out again. Same number. Surely I missed one..

I have to be missing one. There has to be more, serious reasons why I have to say no to him…

But there wasn't. all that stood in the way were my fears, insecurities, and boring day job.

And when I realized that- I realized I was an idiot. How stupid of me. And here I was, keeping Edward waiting…

So without so much as another thought- I saw all the faces of the people here, my friends, Charlie, my boss, my coworkers, my regular customers at the coffee shop, even Rosalie and Tanya…

And mentally told them sorry.

Because I'm going. I'm saying,

"Yes."

"What?" Edward asked almost immediately as I got the word out. His facial expression hadn't changed much from the previous moment when we were frozen and staring at each other.

"Uhm… I'm saying… yes. Okay. I'd like to go on tour with you… if.. If you're serious?… Wait… are you serious???" for a second I panicked, my heart hammering like a rabbit's. fear taking over. Humiliation. Was his question even a reality? For him? Would he be allowed to bring me along?…

"Yes!" he shouted, obviously coming back to life. He was blinking his eyes and had this baffled look on his face like he couldn't imagine anything more preposterous. He cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed by his outburst and show of enthusiasm. He took my hands in his as he settled down. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing or smiling too big. "Bella- I- are you sure? Really? I've been wanting to ask for hours! But I couldn't bring myself to do it! Are you serious? Really? Are you serious?" for some reason he kept asking if I were serious… I found it hilarious.

"Yes, Edward, I'm serious." I nodded, smiling brightly. His eyes gleamed with a cautious excitement and I watched as his green orbs scanned my face for any traces of foul play. I just grinned at him and let him realize on his own I really was serious. It took a second longer than I thought it would, but eventually, he straightened up, still eyeing me, but I could see that he was starting to accept my answer as truth. I wasn't playing with him. I don't know how he could think I was the one messing around, when he's the one who asked the outrageous question. He opened his mouth to say something but then clamped his jaw shut. His brows furrowed skeptically one last time, before he finally relaxed and leaned into me, settling on no words to show he accepted my answer. His returning response was to kiss me at the corner of my mouth as I sat completely still.

When he pulled away, he let his eyes gaze into mine. For a seemingly long moment I looked back, eyes alight and amusement still playing lightly on my lips. After a time, I simply stood, holding my hand out to Edward for him to follow. He got up and took my hand as I went into the house and went looking for a suitcase.

********

When the tour bus pulled up into the drive way in front of my house, Edward and I were already waiting by the curb- my bags packed and neatly piled together on the sidewalk next to us.

The bus door swung open and descending from the stairs was Emmett and I was briefly reminded of an alien spaceship sending down a messenger from the mother ship to the life forms on earth. Not that Emmett was alien-like.

"So- ready….to… go?" Emmett's tone became increasingly puzzled as he eyed the scene before him. He looked at my bags, and then raised his eyes to Edward, quirking his eyebrow with a silent question.

Edward wasn't discreet, coy, or sly about anything. When I looked at him, as interested as Emmett was to see his answer, I was surprised to find that he had a sort of prideful look about him. Edward sighed a calming, relieving breath, with his hands on his hips contentedly as he met Emmett's questioning gaze with assurance and- happiness. Most of all happiness. A quiet, yet electric, enthusiastic, happiness that brimmed just below the surface of his calm demeanor, pulsing with an alive current just beneath his skin. I stared at him in silence, examining and analyzing his every gesture.

"Bella's gonna be coming on the road with us." Edward spoke with a satisfied crooked grin. Emmett's eyes didn't loose their questioning look. If anything he just seemed more surprised.

Finally, Emmett looked towards me, as if he was expecting me to confirm Edward's statement, which I did, with a small, shy, but nonetheless happy smile.

"Uh, Edward… that's… great and all… but don't you think- I mean, no offense to Bella or your guys' relationship or judgment…I'm not trying to say you have bad judgment… but.. Don't you think that's a little rash?" he shifted uncomfortably. It was weird seeing Emmett seemingly out of his comfort zone like this. I could tell since the short time I've known him he isn't one to get into other people's business- but when he felt the need to speak up, it was a little awkward for him to do so. I have to say I wasn't mad at Emmett for bringing that up- our decision- mine and Edward's- was fairly hurried. But it was supposed to be. Was there anything wrong with that? I was sick of doing what was expected of me, sick of sticking to the ordinary because that's all I knew. I could see in Emmett's face he wondered if this was safe, if this was really a good idea- maybe he was concerned for Edward, maybe he was concerned for me- maybe he saw this ending badly- but in any relationship, in anything in life isn't the same thing also true? No one knows the future. And if you didn't do something because you didn't know how it would end up- you'd never do anything.

But still, I could tell Emmett only had the best of intentions.

Edward, on the other hand, his face had changed to one of contained, calm happiness to sudden anger. Maybe even offended.

"Rash- you mean like when we were looking for another bassist and we found Rosalie and then you decided to go and make her your girlfriend? Mixing business and pleasure, that sort of thing? Or how James used to pick up girls from different cities and drop them off wherever he felt like it just because he got tired of them? You think this is a bad decision, just like that?" Edward snapped. He kept his tone level, raising it just a range louder than he would normally talking, but his expression and tone were enough to convey he was angry- and I could tell from looking at his face that there was a whole 'nother history going on there that I didn't know about. I imagine Edward was going back to the years, all the time that he's been the odd one out. The seemingly perpetual single one, watching as everyone around him, on tour, and even in his band, made their own decisions, without ever consulting him, without ever seeing what he thought about it. And I could imagine how frustrating that could be. In the end, everyone does what they want in their own life, on their own time. Behind closed doors what they did was their own business- and here was Edward- doing nothing wrong by them- and Emmett was seemingly trying to make him rethink that.

"No, Edward it's not like that at all-" Emmett immediately tried to retract his implication, but Edward was already on his way to grill him for it-

"then what is it? What are you trying to say?…"

**EPOV**

… I'm not allowed to make my own life decisions? Everyone else seems to do whatever the fuck they want but I can't bring my respectable girlfriend on tour with me?"

I had separated myself from Bella as I pulled Emmett by the arm to the backside of the bus, still visible to Bella although Emmett was hidden in shadows. I didn't want her to hear this. I didn't want her to know what was the big problem. I would tell her later it was more about me than her- of course Bella wasn't the actual problem. It was just the idea of me and suddenly going so out of character to them. The idea of me being involved with anyone, especially Bella, seemed dangerous to them. Deciding to bring her with us- possibly long term- was something I could now see they would take warily. I have to admit, I didn't exactly expect this from them. (I say 'them' because even though Emmett's the only one who technically knows about my decision, the rest will all just fall in line. If one can see the problem, they all will and agree). They might think it strange, seeing as this is new to them. Just the other day I was the sullen, cynical, virginal intellectual who seemingly didn't take an interest in anyone. And literally, within hours that all changed and the change was only a few days old now. I guess no one really wants to see their friend, their band mate's, first relationship blossom and die right before their very eyes. After all, who's ever heard of finding the ever lasting love of your life the very first time around? So I can see how taking Bella on tour could be frightening to them. They're already looking for it to end badly.

But they don't know my relationship like I know my relationship. Quite frankly they don't know Bella…

And the warm, strange, very alive, ever changing, ever moving feeling growing deep inside me, originating somewhere behind my rib cage and emanating through my chest towards her. That feeling was starting to grow a voice. And the voice was getting louder and stronger every second it was alive. I was starting to be able to hear it more clearly in my head, commanding my actions, coming into my thoughts, particularly about Bella, before anything else could be considered. It was starting to scare me. I could feel I was very close to learning its name.

But beside all that, even though I could understand them, I hadn't exactly expected Emmett to challenge me on it. I thought they would bite their tongues, just like I did for everyone of them, and let me do what I wanted to do with my life. My personal life. My life regarding Bella.

She's all I have, so let me have it.

"What?" Emmett blurted, his eyes confused, brows furrowed.

"Hm?" I hummed, irritatingly, barely sparing him a glower.

"she's all you have. So let you have it."

"What?"… I was the one who blurted this time. My heart racing as my mind figured out what just happened without my consenting to do so. I wanted to be saved the humiliation. I must have spoken that one thought out loud… for Emmett to be able to repeat it and all..

"You say she's all you have…" Emmett muttered, looking away. "That right there, makes me a little scared for you."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm not sure it's healthy… to want someone that bad. To still want someone that bad even after you have her."

His words were as if he shoved me two steps back- and they did. My eyes widened in shock. Maybe it was a little dangerous to be so consumed with Bella. Maybe a little unhealthy on some point. But I would still never go back. As long as she'll have me.

"Emmett… all I'm going to say is- let me do this. It's my life. It's Bella's life. I asked and she said yes. How am I ever supposed to know if none of you let me try? Why is it I can have a careless hook up with Tanya but when I actually want to be with a woman you all go into this skeptical, doubting, protective mode? What are you trying to prove me wrong about?"

Emmett shifted his gaze to the trees far off and sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just saw her bags all packed and ready to go and it surprised me. You've been… by yourself for a while… it's just a big change. A fast change. You can have my word I'll try to make everyone else be okay with you doing this. You've always let us fuck up our lives."

"that's not what I'm doing." I chuckled soundlessly.

"You never know." was all he said.

**********

**BPOV**

When Edward and Emmett came back from behind the bus I stood up, as if waiting for the verdict. Edward gave me a small, half smile. Something about him seemed defeated, and yet he picked up my bags to load into the under compartment of the tour bus. I kept a small duffle bag with me to carry on for the night. I looked at Emmett, he smiled exuberantly as if nothing had ever happened. As if my arrival was a warm welcoming.

"So you think you have what it takes to be a rock star???" he teased with a shit eating grin.

"Um, no. Just to date one." I answered with a breathless, nervous laugh. Edward turned around from packing my bags to give me a pleased, amused smile. The sight made my heart stop for a second.

"Oooh, good answer." Emmett winked.

When the bags were all put away, Edward appeared at my side, suddenly tall and protective, and yet at the same time as I felt like he was trying to protect me, support me going into this seemingly intimidating direction, I felt as if I were the one shielding him. There was something in the line of his mouth, the fixed line of sight of his eyes that made me think he was already imaging the face of an opposer. As if there could be someone to oppose this. What we had. What Edward and I shared.

But then the door of the bus opened as Emmett jumped up ahead, disappearing into the darkness. Edward let me go in front of him, his hand reassuringly (or was it out of need for support?) on the small of my back, his other hand clasped tightly and warmly in my hand.

The first thing that happened was I heard a voice.

"What took so long!? _Finally_. What's his problem, he couldn't say bye to his little piece of ass he's been squeezing these last couple days?" she finished off her statement with a wicked burst of laughter. I could see her blonde hair, even in the dim light. Emmett looked back, embarrassed, trying to cover the sight of Edward and I standing in the doorway to his girlfriend. But she saw.

"Oh…" Rosalie's eyes widened, her expression one not of embarrassment or shame, just surprise. "he brought the girl with him…" her tone drifted off with a mean, teasing lilt.

The second thing that happened was Edward stood behind me, we were both fully inside now but my hand rested on the step railing. Rosalie and Emmett were in the aisle of the bus. She was staring us down, and I was reminded of an old fashioned cowboy duel in the wild west. Who would draw their gun first? Rosalie had unknowingly made the challenge clear, but that didn't mean she was retracting her words.

Edward put his hands firmly on my hips, gripping them, gripping and getting a hold of as much flesh as he could. My t-shirt was starting to ride up slightly at the sides where he made a possessive place for his hands. When I looked up, his eyes were glinting with a threat, squinting slightly, his brows knitted inward, he didn't break his gaze with Rosalie.

"That's right. She's staying with me. I thought it would be nice to have something pretty to look at on this bus for a change."

Somewhere, in the distance, I could hear their bus driver and tour manager stifling laughter. I could sense the insult Edward had just given in the air- but didn't stick around in it for long.

With his hands still on me, Edward guided me past Rosalie and Emmett (who was pretending to be deaf).

We made our way to the back of the dark bus. When I looked up at him with concern (because surely Rosalie was going to kick my ass now or get me while they were all sleeping) I only saw humor alight in his eyes. He had an arrogant, satisfied grin on his face and an evil mischievousness at the back of his eyes. I didn't know what I was going to say. I thought my problems with Rosalie were over with- that when she helped me with the whole Tanya issue that we were good… but maybe she never forgot about the misunderstanding with Mike, or the completely innocent encounter with Jacob, the volunteer… I had all these questions, worries, but Edward placed a single finger on my lips.

"I would have said beautiful, but I wanted to keep it short and sweet." he grinned. I let out a laugh along with my breath.

"Edward, she's going to hate me now- for sure."

"What does it matter? You're not here for anyone else. You're my piece of ass, remember?" he whispered teasingly as he bent down to my ear, that grin still on his face. He chuckled soundlessly, his hands going back to my waist.

I knew he was joking, trying to ease the tension by making fun of Rosalie and repeating her words, but I just couldn't let him get away with it.

"Yours? I'm a piece of ass to you now?" I cocked an eyebrow. Not sparing a smile or any trace of humor as I backed up to get a better look at him. I could see his expression fall, his face a look of regret, almost utterly sorry, which sort of broke my heart a little bit. But I was in an evil, teasing mood and was feeling a bit mean, just as he had teased me a second ago.

"What? No… Bella… I was just- those were Rosalie's words, not min-"

I cut him off, with a finger on his lips, my eyes on them as I traced the outline of his mouth lightly. When I looked back up to his eyes, my gaze was decidedly punishing.

"Just for that- you're not touching me for the rest of the week."

And as if to say goodbye to contact for the time being, I trailed my hand from his mouth to his chest, down to his abdomen, underneath his flimsy shirt, and down. All the way down until I reached his belt buckle, where there I decided to dart just past the barrier of his pants. I dipped my hand inside, just past the elastic of his boxer briefs. My palm was flat against the hard surface of his stomach, his navel not far above. At my fingers I could feel the light dusting of hair that was his happy trail. I placed my other hand demandingly at the small of his back, pressing myself flush against him as my hand followed that trail of hair back up his abdomen and up his chest under his shirt. I snickered in spite as I caught eyes with him and shook my head. His eyes were pleading, his mouth softly agape with the question of reconsideration. His hand made a grab for my wrist but I pulled away with one last drag of my hand.

"Maybe you shouldn't have invited me along, after all."

**The more reviews I get the faster I'll be able to update! I get busy but I'd like to update more often. But thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope it was okay. Let me know what you guys think : )**


	23. Chapter 23

**I know it's been a long time. It always is, isn't it? My apologies. Thank you all for continuing to read and review! This story was also nominated for an Indie Twific Award category! It didn't make it to the final round of nominated stories but thanks all the same for the recognition!**

**Now, on to the chapter!**

**BPOV**

I awoke to a wet, slightly damp feeling in the crook of my neck. I stirred in my sleep, still on that edge of being half awake, half conscious and semi unconscious. I inhaled a deep, even breath as I turned. There was something in the space where my neck met the curve of my shoulder…

When my eyes were finally able to open against sleep, I realized there was a certain pair of lips that belonged to a certain bronze haired head, buried in my hair and placing damp, suckling kisses along the expanse of the exposed skin of neck. I laid there, watching, eyes half lidded but amazed nonetheless. Edward was fully occupied and otherwise beside himself, perfectly consumed with carrying out what he was doing. I wasn't even sure if he noticed I was awake now, or if he even cared. It was astounding really. What could be so appealing, so attractive about anything on my body, my skin, that he felt the need to so enthusiastically tend to?

But sure enough- I stayed still, too sleepily surprised to do much else but watch, muse, and feel. He continued to kiss and lick at my neck, occasionally nipping at the tender spot where my pulse was. His breathing was slightly hitched, and every now and then a soft moan escaped his lips, interrupting the duties of his mouth from the vibration of sound. Just when I thought he'd never notice I was awake, he slid up my body, trailing his lustful kisses with him. He was half way on top of me when his mouth reached my ear. His tongue reached out to lick my lobe before I felt his warm breath against my skin.

"Good morning." he half moaned. I bit my lip harshly, turning my head the opposite direction away from him and not able to control my body from thrashing beneath him. I couldn't handle it. As I awoke more and more and became more fully aware- I realized where I was. What I was lying on. And what had happened the night before.

I was laying on the spare bed at the back of the bus. Looking beyond Edward's outline in front of me, I could see we were alone. The entire bus empty. Early morning white light was seeping in lightly front behind the window curtains and the front windshield. Edward was in different clothes from last night.

Last night. I remembered last night.

Rosalie.

Piece of ass.

I'm his piece of ass.

That's what he said, didn't he?

And joking or not (I knew he obviously was, Edward wasn't like that) I was letting him get away with the very thing I told him I wouldn't.

"_Just for that- you're not touching me for the rest of the week."_

Those were my words, weren't they?

"Hey…" I whined, "You're not supposed to be touching me, mister." I tapped a scolding finger on the tip of his nose. Edward looked like the scolded child who had hoped to get away with his deed, that sleeping on it would make it blow over, forgiveness. Or maybe he had just hoped all along I wasn't serious. Joking or not. But the more I thought about it- maybe it was a good way to show everyone I was serious. I wasn't here as some fling. Some groupie. And I certainly wasn't here for the attention, the money (not that any of them were rich- I had no idea. I had no idea where they stood on making money with this whole band thing. Not that that mattered). I was here for Edward- himself. And by holding out, by showing everyone I could take a stand, and that I wasn't looking to be with Edward solely physically or was just here to basically take whatever I could get, maybe they'd see I was genuine. They'd see they wouldn't have to worry. As I thought about it- I hated to admit that Rose wasn't altogether wrong in her reaction towards me. They knew this was my favorite band- Edward's band- and I bet that doesn't look good to someone on the outside. For all she knew I could just be infatuated with him. Have some twisted sick fantasy of having his baby so I could ensure the rock and roll lifestyle.

Or I don't know. Even as a worst case scenario for people like them, for someone to assume that was the case- it still seemed pretty ridiculous. Really stupid. Did stuff like that even happen in real life? Were Edward and them really that well known? I had no idea. But I knew I needed to prove to them Edward and I would be okay. If this whole staying with him on tour was going to work out, I needed to.

And so, if all went to plan, this week was going to hurt me as much as it would hurt him. I could literally feel my body protesting as I placed both palms against his chest, pushing him away. He pouted almost immediately but he sat up on his knees, kneeling on the small, thin mattress. He let out a tortured, aggravated sigh. I kneeled up with him and got in his face. I had to try not to laugh. It was funny, really. He kept turning his head away from me, not meeting my eyes when I had to get so close to him.

"Look at me," I said. Liking the undertone of authority in the words. Authority over him. I was surprised how it came so naturally. He didn't turn, but I could tell I had his attention. He held still and waited for my words. "You know I hate to have to do this."

"Then don't!" he shouted. I let out a scoff.

"Edward- if we just went and put our hands all over each other- what would they all think?"

"Who cares?"

"I care. At least for now. C'mon you've got to know- it's me they're going to be looking at. I'm the one who's gonna be judged. I'm the one suspicious. Let me just try to get this over with…" I reasoned. Slowly, as my words sunk in, he gradually turned towards me. Eyes downcast, he took my hand. That I could allow. I brought his hand up and kissed it quickly and kindly.

"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?"

I laughed at that. He sounded downright sad.

"I'm not going anywhere you know…" I mumbled. I leaned in slowly, eyes closing as his lips neared mine. One small, gentle kiss to give us both something to think about for the next week surely wouldn't hurt…

I was wrong. What was the saying- give someone an inch and they'll take a mile?

The second Edward's lips met mine a fire blazed. Instantaneously he went into a sort of frenzy and I wasn't far behind. His mouth moved against my own, opening my mouth with his before I had any idea what was happening. He let out a low moan as his tongue found mine. A shocked jolt went through me, I inhaled sharply through my nose. He gripped me closer and I let out a whimper. Before I knew it, his hands were underneath my bottom, lifting me up and pulling me against his body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we toppled back onto the little bed. It creaked in protest. The heated, hungry, needy kiss was all the consumed me until I heard a loud slam.

Edward pulled away a second after, eyes stunned and blinking. We both froze waiting for some kind of impact.

"Oh, gross."

And there it was.

Rosalie had entered the bus, and just as quickly exited upon seeing our little make out session.

"Off." I muttered, pressing against his chest once again. This time, we both felt the shame. Maybe even sorrow. But his couldn't hold a candle to mine.

**********

The rest of the day- I did feel sad. I felt sad because I couldn't be with my boyfriend the way I wanted to without anyone getting the wrong idea. I felt sad because why should I let them dictate what I could and couldn't do in my relationship, anyway? I felt angry because they were making me feel I was someone less noble than what I was. I was angry for taking it out on Edward and using his innocent joke as an excuse of a way to prove myself to everybody. And by everybody- I mean mostly Rosalie. The whole situation, was starting to seem really stupid. Especially the longer I stood by myself and thought about it. The more I knew it could be potentially causing more damage than it could help.

I was standing just next to the stage where Edward and them would be going on next. We were in some part of Northern California by today. I had just gotten off the phone with Alice. She seemed disappointed I let happen what had happened. I shouldn't care what other people think. But then it was made a little worse when she pointed out I just may have to stick to the whole week thing with Edward otherwise I'd have to eat my words. Going back on what I said would only weaken any other statement that would come out of my mouth. Plus there was also the issue of my pride. But did I really care about any such things as that? Especially so petty? Childish really.

And so I sighed, leaning my head back against a pole. All other things aside, so far I hadn't cheated with the whole no touching thing. Edward got over pouting and eventually went back to normal, accepting my wishes and respecting what I had said. But there was still that unanswered gleam in his eyes. Underneath whatever current emotion he held, every time he looked at me, ever said anything, there was the unspoken question of 'when?' in his eyes. Just waiting until I gave the go ahead. As if any moment I would come to my senses and see this whole thing had gotten out of hand. And maybe, truthfully, that was right in a sense. Maybe I was over thinking everything. Maybe no one cared that much about me or Edward to dig that much into our personal lives. After all, Edward was a big boy. He could take care of himself.

And maybe I should take better care of him.

Just as that thought hit me, I saw him enter onstage. He was busy trailing electrical cords behind him, setting something up but my heart swelled at how wonderful he was.

It was then I decided maybe this week didn't have to be about torture. It could be about preparation.

************

After the tour had ended for the day, I went back to the bus with the excuse that I wanted to change. Which I did. I felt hot and sticky from the long day. But while I was shuffling through the clothes I brought- I also analyzed the underwear I had, refreshing myself of what I had and didn't have. I bit my lip in thought.

After I had picked out my outfit for tonight (another after hours tour party in the back lot by the buses) I mused over my more intimate garments. Well, they could hardly be called _intimate_, unless yellow cotton and white polka dots were considered sexy. My underwear- thankfully- wasn't embarrassing, I would say. They weren't anything granny- like… but they weren't make your man drop to his knees and beg or anything. I laughed.

"What's so funny?"

I jumped and gulped as I threw the cover of my suitcase closed- hoping what I had been doing wasn't obvious. Or visible.

"Nothing." I answered, hoping to convey normal and casual. Edward walked on over, coming to stand behind me and look over my shoulder.

"How much clothes did you bring?" he asked, noting the top and bottoms I had folded in my arms, seeing I had plans to change.

"Uh, I'm not really sure." I couldn't get my mind away from what just happened, or almost being caught, but I was thankful he was moving on with the subject.

"Well if you ever need anything we've got a day off coming up soon. A couple days actually in between tour dates, between cities where we don't have to be anywhere else. We usually go into town, hang out or get a hotel."

"Oh, okay." I replied. I went along with my business, turning away from him, assuming he was done. I walked to the back of the bus where the bathroom was. I was surprised Edward was following me, but I desperately wanted to seem casual. I knew he probably picked up on something. But I couldn't show I was nervous. He'd only ask why and it wasn't him. I was awkward and uncomfortable with myself. And after all I couldn't explain to him that I was examining my underwear because I was planning on…being in my underwear around him. Sometime in the future. After this whole week of refraining. Of self inflicted frustration and torture and cruel and unusual punishment. And I surely couldn't tell him I had decided to turn the week into a positive. Or at least try. If Edward wasn't allowed to touch me this week- I was going to try and make up for it in the end.

But how would I go about that? I wasn't quite sure yet. It's not like I had done this before. But maybe- if I could tease and tempt him all week, without ever actually giving in and letting him know what was really happening- by the time we could actually go back to normal again- it'd be so much better.

I reached out for the bathroom door and turned around as I stood inside. Edward sat down on the spare bed. We looked at each other a moment and I could swear he was asking me questions with his eyes. Of course my answering stare told him I couldn't talk about it. And so he turned his head away, looking out the window when he realized I wasn't going to say anything.

I changed into a fresh pair of jeans, their shape still intact having been just washed the other day and not worn since. The top was sleeveless and red. The neckline was a sort of v-neck with pleating. The top back part of it was knitted in a delicate design and see through. When I came out of the bathroom Edward was lying down, looking at the ceiling. I shoved my old clothes in a draw string bag I was using as a sort of hamper. I sighed cheerily- trying to change the mood. The sound made him sit up but his answering sigh wasn't happy. It was drained. Tired. Frustrated. I smiled at him to try and make it all better.

"Shall we?" I asked. He stood up just as I turned to walk away. Strong, firm, wanting hands stopped me in my tracks on my waist. The next moment my back was up against his chest. I lightly gasped in surprise.

"Edward…" I warned lightly, although I didn't move away from him. Maybe I was waiting for him to do it himself.

"Bella," he stated and that was all. I felt his mouth move to my neck and just under my ear.

"Hey you know we're not supposed to be doing this…"

He groaned in frustration. He didn't want talking, he just wanted to continue uninterrupted. "You have no one to blame but yourself you know." was that a lie? I couldn't tell. Maybe I was to blame now. "If it weren't for that comment. If only you hadn't said I was your piece of ass." my tone was calm, surprisingly, despite the gentle caress of his lips on my jaw. I was completely coherent. And so I guess that's what lead Edward to do what he did next. He couldn't have me coherent, could he?

His hands moved up from my hips and ghosted up my abdomen, his fingers trailing under the hem of my top and bringing that with him. The air in the bus felt cool compared to the heat of my skin now- especially everywhere Edward was touching. As his hands moved, he kissed and sucked his way up my neck until he reached my ear, the sound of his breathing and mouth…

"What?" he asked, "Can you blame me for wanting to own you?" that wasn't what I expected. Of all things he could have said… "As you own me… it's only fair." his voice lilted, hushed and almost whispery. Sensual. As he spoke, his hands moved to over my breasts. Hovering, skimming but not exactly touching so I couldn't get after him for that. Nor did I want to. If anything I wanted more. He was teasing me. Trying to show me all this could be put behind us and we could have what we wanted. Or at least a little bit.

So of course, even though I wanted nothing more than what he wanted, I had to step away.

**EPOV**

I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't know what we're doing anymore. But I know it's as if the moment she decided to put that part of us on hold- the physical part- for whatever reason- it's all I can think about. I feel so bad about that. I feel guilty and shameful. I feel confused. I feel frustrated. And it's only been a day. I can't even keep from trying to persuade her to change her mind and it's only been a day. It's only a week. Why can't I deal with that? But as Bella walked away from me, leading me by the hand at least out to the party, I knew I would have to. But in the meantime, if Rose wasn't so much like family, I swear I would hate her.

**So what do you think of this one? It feels a little different to me than the other chapters for some reason. Do you think it's going in a good/right direction? Hope you like the update. I've got the ideas for the next couple chapters figured out so hopefully those will come a looootttttt sooner than my last update. sorry again! Review please! **


	24. Chapter 24

**EPOV**

We walked hand in hand out into the dark. Overhead, the lights in the parking lot cast the faces of my tour mates in shadows while the top of their heads glowed like halos. As we walked by, heading for Emmett, who I could see in the distance, I notice a few of the techie guys looking at Bella. I mentally scoffed. Didn't matter if it was obvious she was with me. I couldn't blame them, trying to get their gawking in. The deep, almost blood red top she was wearing, with the cut out and knitting in the back, wasn't helping either.

But I kept on. I'd be lying if I said I was in a particular good mood though. On the contrary I felt drained. Almost… bored even. For no apparent reason. My guess would be because instead of getting to spend my time alone with Bella in the bus, we'd have to join friends and make conversation over stale beer.

I'm not implying in order for me to have a good time me and Bella better be doing something physical. Not at all. What's bothering me more, why I'm in an indifferent mood is because I'd rather be left to my own thoughts. Thoughts as to why- why are we doing this? And why are my band mates making this so hard? (Rosalie…) Why can't they just accept it and move on? And why does Bella feel like she needs to do this? Is it something I've done? Or not done? To make her feel less secure in her place here? I couldn't figure it out. And while we were in the presence of others, I couldn't really formulate any answers.

After what seemed like a quick journey across the parking lot, Bella and I came up to Emmett. He had one foot up on a concrete block while he took a drag from a cigarette. His mouth otherwise occupied, he greeted us with a nod. After he pulled away did he speak.

"Want one?"

I shook my head, "No." I didn't smoke.

"Ha. Not you, dirt bag, I was talking to the lady."

"Oh," I turned, surprised to look at Bella. She seemed taken back as well and quickly shook her head.

"No thanks."

"Suit yourself." said Emmett, and turned around to look behind him, squinting into the dark, vaster area of the lot.

During that small, insignificant exchange, it occurred to me that before this moment, I didn't know if Bella was a smoker or not. Or what if she drinks. What are her habits? Her likes and dislikes? I didn't really know. I couldn't even tell you her favorite color!

As I realized this, I felt.. Shocked. Instinctually, in my…heart…(for lack of a better description) it felt like I've known Bella forever. That I could just guess or somehow know all these things if faced with the question. But the fact that I had never received the information directly out of her mouth, or through some other encounter, unsettled me. I looked down at our intertwined hands, and felt I was a fake. How could I claim to deeply care about her, so quickly, when I couldn't even rattle off basic facts about her? And that I would be so quick to jump in the bus with her, or her own house, and get physical, but hadn't taken the time to ask a little bit about herself. Suddenly, I was jealous of every single person who knew her. _Really _knew her. And for a second I got sick thinking of all the men she could have encountered in her life, at school, or wherever, who knew these simple things from merely being in her presence for so long. My blood boiled in anger for the unseen, anonymous co-worker she may have back home, in such close quarters, who unknowingly could have been my competition. Without noticing it, I squeezed her hand a bit harder.

Bella glanced up my way but didn't say anything, she merely squeezed back and turned forward to Emmett.

Emmett squinted once again as he took a drag on the cigarette. "Great, here comes Rosalie, my beautiful, delicate flower…" he said, somewhat laced with sarcasm for our sake. Rosalie was anything but delicate. I could sense it was somewhat of a warning to us to high tail it out of there. Irritated, I tugged on Bella's hand gently to be able to walk away in time before Rosalie came up with something snarky to say once she reached us.

"Come on, Bella, let's-" I said, but to my surprise, Bella did not move. "Bella?" I asked as I turned around, looking to her for an answer.

"What?" she asked. Her appearance was calm and smooth. Like the surface of water uninterrupted, but I knew that could easily be shattered. I wondered what was going on underneath her surface, but her look to me wasn't giving anything away. And so I stood there, looking back and forth from her to Emmett, as if he had an explanation. Meanwhile, I could see Rosalie getting closer, her eyes narrowed on Bella, who was obviously not oblivious to Rosalie's impending arrival. I got the sense this pissed her off. I panicked for my Bella. I kept her hand in mine, trying one last time to get her to follow me. Retreat while we can!

"Are you sure you don't want to-?"

"What? No, I'm fine." she answered simply, with a casual upbeat tone.

No, Run!

Run Bella!

We have to escape!

I shouted in my head frantically. I did not want to deal with Rosalie, and quite frankly I didn't want to be here and give her the chance to chew my girlfriend out about earlier.

But Bella… didn't seem phased.

Which freaked me out even more.

Emmett gave me a look that seemed to say, "chillax, dude."

I gulped as I looked away towards Bella, readjusting my hand in hers. I could tell my palm had begun to sweat.

"Well…hello, all." said Rosalie. And I could tell she was a little ticked off to have to address a larger crowd, meaning me and Bella.

"Hi, honey." Emmett was the only one to answer.

A second of silence passed.

"Rosalie." Bella smiled, with a slight nod of her head in greeting. My mouth gaped open the tiniest bit. It was like… Bella was _teasing _her. I wanted to yell to Bella, 'don't look her in the eye!' but I refrained myself.

The answering look Rosalie gave her could have been comical any other time if I didn't fear for my girl's safety. Rosalie didn't speak but stared her down, as if calculating Bella's motivations. I found myself doing the same thing.

**BPOV**

I could tell Edward was on edge, and maybe that made it all the more fun but I wished he would relax. As soon as I realized, the time we were standing there before Rosalie's arrival, there really wasn't a thing she could do to me, I lost all fear. It was like my thoughts back in the bus of wanting this week to be about preparation was an epiphany. Change would need to take place all around.

First of all, I wasn't going to be afraid of my boyfriend's band mate.

Second, I wasn't going to let them make me feel bad about myself.

I wasn't going to let them dictate my life. I wasn't going to let their opinion, or views of me, get in the way of what I wanted to do, and with my time with Edward.

Bottom line, if I was going to be here, if I wanted to be here, and if I planned to stick around long enough, I was going to have to adjust to my surroundings. Not cower in fear of them. So out the window went my anxiety.

Edward had chosen me and I chose him. He wanted me here and that should be all that mattered.

And it all started here. I needed to stand up for myself and reassert my place here. It was something so basic and almost primitive. Almost like, look, this is my mate and this is now my territory too. Get over it.

And so by not backing down to Rosalie, I was initiating the change I wanted to take place. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but it didn't have to be difficult. I wasn't expecting her to like me, but she could stop bothering me if I let her know it wasn't going to work anymore...

"Bella." she finally conceded. She didn't say it nicely, but it wasn't exactly laced with acid either. This was the first step forward.

*****

A couple days had passed and since that night with the Rosalie encounter, the following changes came a lot easier. I hadn't run into her a lot since then, but when I did, I didn't feel any tension. There was almost a sort of cool, neutral, but distant sort of calm between us that we left unspoken. The fact that she didn't make an effort to keep talking to me let me know she probably still didn't like me or generally approve, but she wasn't going to antagonize me either. That was fine with me.

Once the initial shock of that small first encounter washed over, the guys seemed to be more easy going than usual. Emmett didn't try to hide the budding camaraderie we began to have. I found myself nearly crapping my pants every time he caught me off guard and scared me by swooping in and tucking me into his side while he messed up my hair. Rosalie has even seen it a couple times. She doesn't seem to care or notice.

The most notable effect was on Edward though. I hadn't realized it before, but any tension concerning me obviously concerned him as well. With the weight of Rosalie off my shoulders, and therefore his, he seemed so much more easy going. So much more…happy. So much more- light. It was like everything was put in the past. It was like in the fast few days he had completely forgotten our no touching rule- which was still in place, but it wasn't a punishment anymore. It was… sort of the way a couple abstains before marriage. It was to better ourselves. But even this too, completely passed under Edward's nose.

He didn't know it, but I kept our physical distance in tact because I was gearing up for the end of the week. Only 2 days now, and not only would the week be done, but they'd be having their first weekend off since the start of the tour. Perfect timing, I thought. Perfect indeed.

With my anxiety towards the tour and tour mates, impressions and opinions, mostly gone, I had time to focus on other things.

These changes were not only getting me comfortable in establishing an existence here on the tour by Edward's side, but were preparing me for a big next step in our relationship.

Edward had once said a hurried, frantic roll in the tour bus wasn't us. And he was right. We deserved more than an empty bus in a big parking lot for doing what we desperately wanted to do. Explore each other.

Now I wasn't in over my head. Both of us…as virgins… I don't think we were quite ready for the ultimate step, but if I could do the stupid things I had done with my last boyfriend why couldn't I do something with Edward now? Someone I deeply cared about? With him, I knew those things wouldn't end up with me feeling foolish nor would I consider them stupid.

With that in mind, not only did I feel determined, I felt… happy and… proud I had someone I wanted to make happy. I wanted to do something for Edward, for being… such an amazing person. And I wasn't afraid to do it.

And so, that gave me courage.

When Friday came along, everyone was talking about the next city we'd be in and where they were going to stay. Apparently the tour managers found a cheap hotel willing to accommodate all the people and the buses for the weekend. It was located in a central part of the city, so there would be bars to go to of course, and restaurants, places to eat and drink, get tattoos, whatever. But what caught my attention was the fact it was just down the street from a big shopping mall.

While my plans stewed in my head, I realized I may need some help. Or guidance, perhaps. So with throwing care out the window, I walked right up to Rosalie as they were busy doing sound check backstage for one of the last shows of the night.

"Hey, Rose?"

She almost didn't respond. I don't think she was accustomed to hearing my voice, especially directed at her. It took her a second, but once she realized I was talking to her, she straightened up with a look up surprise.

"What?" she asked, and I tried to ignore the slightly impatient tone but it didn't surpass me that she wasn't nearly as harsh as before.

"Saturday afternoon would you want to go shopping with me?" I asked, like it was the most casual, natural thing in the world.

"Would I like to go…shopping?? With you?!" she repeated sternly, her hand on her hip.

"Yeah. There are a few things I need to get."

"Oh yeah, like what??"

"Oh I don't know… I think I'm in need of some sleeping garments."

At that, she raised one perfect eyebrow skeptically, as if I had completely lost my mind. I simply smiled back serenely.

That's right. This weekend, I'm getting intimate with my boyfriend.

**Hope this chapter was ok! Reviews get the next chapter WAY sooner. And Edward will get his action a whole lot sooner… up to you! Just think, poor Edward….!**

**: ) hahaha**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing as always! Thanks so much!**


	25. Chapter 25 Hello Everyone! :D

Hello!

I Know it has been years. But would anyone still be interested in reading this?

-pencildrawings :)


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